Sivok Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 Here's a video from a woman's perspective talking about the nice guy syndrome and how it comes across to girls when you're first interacting with them: It's about 8 minutes long, but I thought it was an interesting viewpoint. Ladies, do you agree with her?
Woggle Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 What exactly does she have going for herself besides looks? She doesn't even look that good.
Mr White Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 What exactly does she have going for herself besides looks? She doesn't even look that good. I could do an 8 min video on what's wrong with "bland, forgettable, and replaceable" skanks like herself .
Woggle Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 I could do an 8 min video on what's wrong with "bland, forgettable, and replaceable" skanks like herself . She is a dime a dozen. You can go out to any bar and find dozens of women like her on any given night. She has the accent but that is pretty much it.
Morals Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 I'm a guy, but I'll comment on this. Her statements that nice guys take no risks is more or less accurate. That's about the only thing I'm willing to agree upon. However, I disagree with her "hypothetical" situations. She claims that girls think very highly of themselves and feel they deserve better. Why? This is complete rubbish. Who is she to think she deserves better? Also, in that same situation she describes the girl being on a date with the nice guy. Well OBVIOUSLY something about his personality attracted her otherwise they wouldn't be on a date would they? Again, this is their flaw in PUA guides. They use hypothetical situations that, if true, have holes in the theory, and if false, well...then they aren't worth listening to in the first place. Also, marketable characteristics are based upon each person's preference. She uses Coke as an example: News Flash---We are not products. We don't have teams of people behind us paying tons of money to market us to the opposite sex. No you don't see coke going around saying "We are an average drink" because that's just stupid. At the same time you don't see coke going around marketing itself to ONLY one type of person. Coke markets itself to every demographic, every country. People don't, people have preferences, standards, and tastes. She claims that nice guys come across as bland and forgettable. I'll go back to marketing yourself for this one. If I come across a girl wearing a tight black dress with 3 inch heels, I think she will look stunning...I might desire to have sex with her. But not relationships. The entire fallacy behind PUA is that they focus on the "getting with someone" part of relationships. (I.e. quick path to sex). They don't focus on the "getting TOGETHER and STAYING" part of relationships. Her final statement that guys claim that "oh she didn't really reject me" I've never seen done. I have never once thought to myself after a rejection "Oh well she didn't reject me, that wasn't really me" I thought to myself "Darn, she was cute and funny, but oh well...her loss". It STILL HURTS. IT STILL SUCKS TO GET REJECTED. And it still makes it very hard to approach girls when the cycle of rejection continues. But I've never once done any sort of metaphorical blaming on an alternate persona of mine, which to be honest, sounds a bit on the crazy side.
Mr White Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 (edited) She is a dime a dozen. You can go out to any bar and find dozens of women like her on any given night. She has the accent but that is pretty much it. The irony is that the stereotype of an "alpha" douche guy is just as "forgetable or replaceable" as the stereotypf of the "nice" douche guy. So this lecture is basically saying don't to for the wrong brand of shoes/bags/men. How insightful . At the same time, when confronted with true quirkiness/originality most girls don't know what to do to save their lives and just stare like deers in headlights and revert to the comfort of the media- and product- validated "bland, forgettable, and replaceable" images of what's supposed to be hot . I appreciate her honesty though - "most women think they deserve more than they actually get" Edited June 11, 2010 by Mr White
Art_Critic Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 These threads about nice guys are really funny... In reality finding a match isn't easy and has nothing to do with being nice or being a bad guy. It has more to do with being comfortable in your own skin than it does trying to be someone you are not. I'm a nice guy.. I've never had trouble finding dates.. It was harder finding someone that clicked on both sides.
Woggle Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 She is true when she says women think highly of themselves. Many think they are more of a catch than they really are.
RedRussian Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 "most women think they deserve more than they actually get" women who think that, have nothing but their sexuality, yet feels she deserved rich, hot guy with high education, when all she has is a boob job....
Philetus Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 Instead of calling her a 'skank' or diminishing her as a person, why don't we comment on the quality of her opinion? I think she's bang on. Nice guys aren't dynamic. They don't invite controversy or any sort of challenge. They aren't interesting. They are agreeable like lap dogs and who wants to date that? I don't want to date a 'nice' girl. Sure, I'd spend the night with one but I wouldn't have a relationship with one. And just because someone isn't a 'nice' guy they're not necessarily an *******. As she says, 'be yourself'. I'm not a nice guy but I'm no jerk. I'm an honest, confident, straightforward guy who is always himself. I know not every woman is going to like me but the ones who do like me, like me for who I am and there are plenty of those. I think if you're a 'nice' guy, you should listen to what this woman has to say. I think she nails it.
paddington bear Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 Thing is just because you are not attracted to someone, doesn't mean he's been put in the 'nice guy' box as this girl describes it. Sometimes you are just not attracted to someone and if you were asked about him you'd say 'oh he seemed nice' without it meaning that he was some doormat, never getting the girl 'nice guy', just that he was off your radar. You cannot force every single woman on the planet to find you attractive by using these PUA techniques, as we are all individuals. Although, I will agree that some will work mostly in terms of gaining confidence and getting used to talking to women and not putting them on a 'she's for sure going to reject me' pedestal.
espec10001 Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 "a dur dur a hee dur boring blah blah" haha what a joke. That's all I heard from that. Women will say a bunch of crap about what they want a man to be, how about the MAN defines who he wants to be, that's how it should be
GoodOnPaper Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 The entire fallacy behind PUA is that they focus on the "getting with someone" part of relationships. (I.e. quick path to sex). They don't focus on the "getting TOGETHER and STAYING" part of relationships. I agree that this is the PUA focus but is it really a fallacy? I think that focus is where it is because -- assuming my experience is typical of most "nice guys" -- it's the attraction part where we are the most unsuccessful and clueless. Personally, I always felt much more comfortable in the relationship stage. With the few women I managed to attract, I became quite good at stretching what should have been a 3-month relationship into 6 months, etc. However, being good at the relationship stage never seemed to make up for not having some sort of instant sex appeal.
Mr White Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 Part of the reasons why conversations with many girls in random social settings are bland has nothing to do with the personality of the guy, but with the simple fact that there is nothing to talk about. (On a second thought, this explains the douchbagerry epidemic in da clubs! If there is nothing to talk about, mught as well get some blingy ass bling, spike up da hair, and bust out the silk shirt!) Random hookups are - for the most part - a spectacle, so the only way to make that work is to be upfront about what you want and don't make a big fuss if it doesn't work out this time. Once I went on a date with a random girl on the street that was trying to recruit people for some charity crap. I told her that the only reason I'm listening to her is because she's super cute. She blushed, finished her speech, and gave me her number. And that's how it's done, kids. And, by the way, I'm a nice guy. (for the most part)
paddington bear Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 I think you are all focusing too much on the girl in the video. What better way than to earn money from 'nice guys' than to get a hot girl to tell them how to get girls? It is the unspoken promise that 'you could get someone like me, if you just follow these simple rules'. As she said in the tape, it is all about marketing. She is part of the marketing package to get money from guys who need help on how to pick up girls. Would you guys trust some incredibly unattractive woman giving this advice? Would people sign up to listen to her? No. The point is, what advice she is giving, not her and her looks. I'm presuming she read a couple of PUA books and set this up, or was hired by some company hoping to cash in on love-lorn males.
Green Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 NICE GUYS DON'T EXIST. Guys who call themselves NICE because they can't get dates are just feeling sorry for themselves. NEVER PAY FOR ADVICE OR DATING HELP UNLESS you are just doing it for FUN. Finaly don't get your dating tips from WOMEN especialy. When you get advice from men always feel free to change that advice or flat out ignore it just enjoy the fact that you relize other people are going through the same thing.
Tony T Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 ......Finally don't get your dating tips from WOMEN especially. When you get advice from men always feel free to change that advice or flat out ignore it just enjoy the fact that you relize other people are going through the same thing. Why do you say don't get dating tips from women? They are the ones men are after so it seems they would be an excellent source. You can ignore their advice just as easily as you can ignore that coming from men. I don't understand your post here at all. Please explain in detail.
Author Sivok Posted June 11, 2010 Author Posted June 11, 2010 I believe it's a reference to the idea that what women want and who they end up becoming emotionally attracted to is contradictory
phineas Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 Instead of calling her a 'skank' or diminishing her as a person, why don't we comment on the quality of her opinion? I think she's bang on. Nice guys aren't dynamic. They don't invite controversy or any sort of challenge. They aren't interesting. They are agreeable like lap dogs and who wants to date that? I don't want to date a 'nice' girl. Sure, I'd spend the night with one but I wouldn't have a relationship with one. And just because someone isn't a 'nice' guy they're not necessarily an *******. As she says, 'be yourself'. I'm not a nice guy but I'm no jerk. I'm an honest, confident, straightforward guy who is always himself. I know not every woman is going to like me but the ones who do like me, like me for who I am and there are plenty of those. I think if you're a 'nice' guy, you should listen to what this woman has to say. I think she nails it. Except, this woman seems to be attracted to the player type. The guy only looking for sex with her, until another woman just like her comes along. Obviously, this woman hasn't figured out that the type of man she is attracted to does not want a relationship. I mean, she is still single right?
Author Sivok Posted June 11, 2010 Author Posted June 11, 2010 The whole idea of the pick up artist scene is to exploit the fact that women can't really choose who they become emotionally attracted to. So many guys and girls alike fail to realize that attraction isn't a choice. There's a giant difference between FINDING someone attractive and BEING attracted to them
AD1980 Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 Only truth in that is women have an inflated sense of self worth and what they bring to the table and what they actually deserve
Morals Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 AD1980 is completely correct. I'd like to further point out that the woman in the PUA video states that "Most women rate themselves higher". Do most men rate themselves higher? I don't. I think my approach to how much I rate myself is either spot on, or lower then it should be. I err on the side of humility, not arrogance. To me that is probably the most defining feature about dating which is why it's gotten so screwed up, whether or not men are "good looking" or not. Most men have a sense of humility, where most women have a sense of arrogance. This falls under the same thought process of women who feel like they "shouldn't settle", but the same situation for men if they "don't settle" for a girl they are called shallow. Double Standards....gotta love em.
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