highlyevolved Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 (edited) I hang out with the guy I've been seeing for 4 months about once or twice a week. We never hang out on friday nights/sat/sat night cause that's when he hangs out with his best friend. They are basically each others only friends so I kinda understand this. (They are pretty much co-dependent.) He said he is pretty happy with seeing me once/twice a week, even though I'd love to see him more. Do you think the relationship can grow with its current arrangement? They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, do you think this will be the case? Do you need to see someone more than once a week for it to work? Edited June 11, 2010 by highlyevolved
that girl Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 How old are you? A guy who must be with his bestie on weekends screams 19 years old, but who knows, you could be 50. This isn't absence makes the heart grow fonder, that deals with people who cannot be together. This guy is choosing to only see you once a week and never during prime time (aka the weekends). While it is possible for that to grow into more, it sounds like he is completely disinterested in a more serious relationship. My other question is are you sleeping together and have you been sleeping together for a month plus? If you're not sleeping together and are choosing to take things slow, I can see a slow build up happening. If you are sleeping together I'm really surprised he doesn't want to see you more often, if even for just the sex. Have you tried invited boyfriend and his best friend out with a group of people? I can see not wanting to leave his good friend hanging, but their should be some middle ground where you see him maybe one night a weekend, sometimes with the best friend, sometimes without.
Author highlyevolved Posted June 11, 2010 Author Posted June 11, 2010 (edited) How old are you? A guy who must be with his bestie on weekends screams 19 years old, but who knows, you could be 50. This isn't absence makes the heart grow fonder, that deals with people who cannot be together. This guy is choosing to only see you once a week and never during prime time (aka the weekends). While it is possible for that to grow into more, it sounds like he is completely disinterested in a more serious relationship. My other question is are you sleeping together and have you been sleeping together for a month plus? If you're not sleeping together and are choosing to take things slow, I can see a slow build up happening. If you are sleeping together I'm really surprised he doesn't want to see you more often, if even for just the sex. Have you tried invited boyfriend and his best friend out with a group of people? I can see not wanting to leave his good friend hanging, but their should be some middle ground where you see him maybe one night a weekend, sometimes with the best friend, sometimes without. He is 21. I'm 22. They are both still stuck in high school mode IMO. Yeah, we are sleeping together. We were friends before we started to 'date'. We usually hangout sun night/monday. But yeah kinda disheartening to see you write "isn't interested in a more serious relationship." I don't know what this means long term. He's mentioned taking "things slowly" before but then he's also said "he doesn't wanna lose me" Edited June 11, 2010 by highlyevolved
that girl Posted June 13, 2010 Posted June 13, 2010 You're both young, but you need to figure out what you need and tell him. If he won't give you what you need, then you walk.
ADF Posted June 13, 2010 Posted June 13, 2010 No, there is no chance your relationship will ever grow. Sorry, but there is no chance whatsoever. NEVER enter into a FWB with a man thinking the relationship will grow into something more. It will never happen. What you need to understand is that for men, FWB is the ideal situation. He gets all the benfits of having a real GF--affection, sex, companionship--but with no strings! FWB is the ultimate win/win, have-my-cake-and-eat-it-too situation for men. Most men actually prefer FWB to real relationships. Most men will try for a FWB is they can get it, and only "settle" for having a GF if they can't. Once a man gets you in a FWB he will never let the relationship develop any further. Why would he? He's already getting everything he wants--for free!
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