josyjosy Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 I posted here about a few weeks ago about my break up. Just a little summary though: my bf of 2 years broke up with me 3 months ago. He said he loves me and still cares about me but he is not in love with me anymore, at least not the way he used to be. He said the romantic love is going away and the feeling of being in love with me is going away. He said the feeling of wanting to be with me is going away. I had no choice but to let him go because I cannot force someone to be with me. Ultimately, I do want him to be happy. Its been a very difficult time. In the relationship, of course, we became bestfriends. When we broke up, we decided that we're going to be friends. We were each others' first love and it's been difficult for the both of us. I know he broke up with me but i do know that he was hurt too. Of course, in situations like these, there will always be someone who is more hurt, in this case, it happens to be me. Everyday for the past 3 months since we broke up, or almost everyday, he would text me and talk to me asking me how im doing or how my day went. He would ask me to lunch almost everyday and of course i would say yes. Its been very hard to see him because everything he does or says affects me, because things are not the way they used to be. Ive told him that if i really couldnt handle seeing him or talking to him, I will let him know and he said he understands. Basically, this entire time, he's just waiting for my decision. A lot of the times, he's asked me "should i still text you or talk to you?" and oftentimes, id feel weak and say "yes" or "its up to you" because i know once i said "no," i know hes gonna stop and id be sitting here waiting for him. I still continued being friends with him because it made me happy, even temporarily. Like i said on my previous post here, i thought it would be better to be friends with him and still have him in my life as my friend than nothing at all. But like i said, its been very difficult and painful. I know that the time would come when I would really have to say goodbye to him and give myself some time to heal. Atleast for a little bit. That day has finally come. Ive been deciding on when to do it and decided id do it before we leave for the summer. Hes going home and im staying in school for the summer and i know we wont be seeing each other. Yesterday was the last day of school, and I finally told him i need to go away for a bit and i dont know when im coming back. I told him the reasons why its been painful and difficult and told him that i will always love him. I told him that i hope when i come back that we could still be friends. It was the toughest thing i ever have to do in my life. We both said I love you to each other before we completely said goodbye and told each other that we'll miss the other person. We didnt have a conclusion as far as contacting each other. Its only been a day, or less than a day and im already having such a hard time. I miss him so much and ive been crying my eyes out all day today. I dont know if i can do this. Please help me. How do I get through this? Did i do the right thing? How do i fight the urge to not contact him or respond to him if he does contact me? Should i really not respond to him? I feel so empty and lost. I miss him so much.
Incognito3 Posted July 10, 2010 Posted July 10, 2010 god, your situation sounds so similar to mine... sounds like you were strong and did the right thing. as for what to do if he contacts you, i would go with your gut instict... there is really no easy black and white answer to that question. if you do end up talking with him, just try and stay as emotionally divorced from him as possible. i would try and remain as distant as possible during these three months and who knows, maybe after those three months are done, things might turn around for the two of you. i feel your pain right now though... it is so aweful isn't it? it will get better though, at least that is what i hear
Author josyjosy Posted July 10, 2010 Author Posted July 10, 2010 god, your situation sounds so similar to mine... sounds like you were strong and did the right thing. as for what to do if he contacts you, i would go with your gut instict... there is really no easy black and white answer to that question. if you do end up talking with him, just try and stay as emotionally divorced from him as possible. i would try and remain as distant as possible during these three months and who knows, maybe after those three months are done, things might turn around for the two of you. i feel your pain right now though... it is so aweful isn't it? it will get better though, at least that is what i hear Hi incognito3, What was your situation? If you dont mind me asking. And well, a week after i posted this or a little less than a week, i was too weak and ended up calling him two days in a row. Stupid huh? As if I didnt learn my lesson the first time i called him. Basically, both times we had a little argument and i realized that if anything i was just pushing him further away. I probably ruined every single chance of getting back with him. Im glad it happened though, I got rid of the urge to call him now. I still do really miss him and I wish he would contact me. Its been 3 weeks since the last time I called him and he hasnt contacted me. I dont know if he will. I wouldnt say im really waiting everyday, but i do think about it everyday wondering if he thinks about me too.
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