betamanlet Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 meaning feel okay about themselves? Every guy I know in a bad situation lives with his parents, and doesn't date, women, date a bit more. I just watched some movie Monster's Ball or someting like that, and the woman was being evicted, etc and the main character still liked her. I'm quite well off income wise, but i don't feel like I'm able to "support" someone, let alone, would I even want to?
D-Lish Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 It's hard to date when you feel less than happy about your financial situation. When I went from living the good life to losing my business, my loft, my income- I had to move home for a time- during that time I just didn't want to date anyone. Now that I am back on my feet, I am open to dating- but don't care if I meet anyone or not! I wouldn't date a guy at my age that wasn't able to look after himself- and I certainly didn't want anyone taking care of me when I was down and out either...
Engadget Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 I had to move home and I'm dating. It bothers me, but oh well.
carhill Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 Try living through a divorce Women don't need to know what I do to survive. None of their beeswax. I still pay for dinner and that's enough. I'm not ashamed of taking a doggie bag home. How do people in bad financial situations date? Extreme frugality, abject humility and a belief that good things will come their way.
MisUnderstanding Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 meaning feel okay about themselves? Every guy I know in a bad situation lives with his parents, and doesn't date, women, date a bit more. I just watched some movie Monster's Ball or someting like that, and the woman was being evicted, etc and the main character still liked her. I'm quite well off income wise, but i don't feel like I'm able to "support" someone, let alone, would I even want to? How? They tell women that it's temporary, get her to pay for everything, and then live comfortably sucking every penny out of her until she dumps him. To men: if you are in a bad situation, you better be walking on your ears to fix it. Women might be patient but it won't last forever.
Shakz Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 These days, who isn't in a bad situation financially? At least I have resources. I can't even imagine what it must be like for someone who is truly broke. I think it is this realization, that we're pretty much all in trouble, that might make it more likely for someone in a bad way to be honest and admit they haven't got a pot to piss in, but they aren't giving up. That willingness to endure and that positive outlook for the future, is sexy.
carhill Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 Beta, you don't have to 'support' a woman at minimum until after you're married to her. If you think you do, you're picking the wrong ladies. The women in my age bracket (and yours) are quite capable of supporting themselves. I prefer the ladies to believe what appears to be obvious. The cat and I shared fish tonight for dinner
sam light Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 When evaluating a potential partner you need to consider their finances as a character issue. If they drink and gamble, or are spend thrifts....watch out! If they are super tight, super frugal... watch out! I'm all for reasonable frugality, but not saving thousands of yugurt cups because your too cheap to them out.
phineas Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 I'm 38 yrs old. just about divorced with a mortgage, home equity loan & child support. I just don't have the resources to go out much at all. I won't always be like this, but it's going to take a few yrs to pay down the 2nd mortgage. If this scares a woman off then so be it. I'm looking for a woman to be a true partner not someone who gives me sex in exchange for me supporting her like my marriage wound up becoming.
Mimolicious Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 When evaluating a potential partner you need to consider their finances as a character issue. If they drink and gamble, or are spend thrifts....watch out! If they are super tight, super frugal... watch out! I'm all for reasonable frugality, but not saving thousands of yugurt cups because your too cheap to them out. I have to agree with this. Even though with thsi economy, everyone is hurting, even the very rich. I understand someone that is going through a hard period but if I see that they are not really doing anything about it and just getting by... I am ghost! People who are broke should stay home and evaluate their situation as a person, before trying to include someone else in their life. Economical strains fall really heavy on a relationship.
Els Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 Some men are visual, some women are 'financial securitional'. The way the world works.
Mimolicious Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 I'm 38 yrs old. just about divorced with a mortgage, home equity loan & child support. I just don't have the resources to go out much at all. I won't always be like this, but it's going to take a few yrs to pay down the 2nd mortgage. If this scares a woman off then so be it. I'm looking for a woman to be a true partner not someone who gives me sex in exchange for me supporting her like my marriage wound up becoming. I am sorry to chime in on this. My sympathies but your situation sounds very familiar to me and I'll tell you why. I have a friend who a year and a half ago married (yes, she went way too far ahead) someone in your same predicament. Divorced, CS, Alimony, mortgage, etc... She is now filing for divorce. I warned her!!!!!!!!!! She is a career chick, paid half of everything and then some... But when you get up every morning and have to bust your a$$ to pay half the bills because your H can't afford not even a vacation, yet he has to support his exW and kids, etc = Recipe to destruct the R. I warned her! I don’t doubt that he loved her but I also saw it for what it was. He couldn't make ends meet alone and basically needed the "roommate" in her. So sad! Like I said before on LS- for a person to be able to achieve a stable R, you need to know who you are, what you do and how much you make. These are key elements to know if you want to be part of that person's plan or not.
phineas Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 I understand. however I can pay everything. I just don't have a lot left over for myself. I do make an above average salary for my area. I honestly won't always be in this situation. It will take a few yrs however I don't need someone to move in to help pay expenses & not sure I want to move someone in unless i'm married to them because I do have the kids half the time. And getting married again. Umm, I just really don't see that as a future option right now.
Mimolicious Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 Well, at least you got it straight... You know who you are, what you do and how much you make! and you have a plan. I take it from I honestly won't always be in this situation. In my friends situation was very obvious. I'd be honest, I wouldn't get myself caught up with someone that can't handle their own because I sure handle mine. Eventually it weights you down.
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