Crazy Magnet Posted June 10, 2010 Posted June 10, 2010 I guess I am officially in ultra serious relationship territory (read: the kind where wedding bells eventually start chiming). He's giving up his cats for me, the cats he's raised since they were kittens that he has had for the past 12 years and who are as much his "kids" as my dog is my "kid." He's never given up his cats before (clearly). He's also never renovated his entire house for a girl before, or even asked a girl to move in. I think this one is into me! lol He says stuff like "I want my grandfather to marry us" and "How would you feel about wearing my grandmother's diamond?" (Umm...YES!) which sort of indicates to me he's internally singing "Here comes the bride." Oh, and the "I want to marry you" comment. That one sort of tipped me off. haha It's kind of scary and exciting all at the same time. I need to get adjusted to sharing a house with him before I can start thinking about getting engaged to him. But I do want to marry him. I wasn't sure I'd ever take the plunge again post D. It's been more than 4 years since I left and I guess it took me almost that long to be in a place to have this kind of relationship again. I have no idea how people get divorced and then remarry so quickly. Really not too much of a question on this post, just a general "I'm taking a very large step in my relationship!!!" post and I want all of LS to know!! Plus I like happy threads. I do wish there was a forum for those between dating and marriage. Living together is kind of in the middle, we need an in the middle forum! :bunny: Yay for me. :bunny:
TheLoneSock Posted June 10, 2010 Posted June 10, 2010 Ah, now the real test begins. Good luck - tread cautiously and most importantly have fun.
USMCHokie Posted June 10, 2010 Posted June 10, 2010 :bunny: Yay for me. :bunny: Yay for you is right! Congrats, I'm very happy for you!
Lakeside_runner Posted June 10, 2010 Posted June 10, 2010 Very happy for you! I liked the positive sound of the post
aerogurl87 Posted June 10, 2010 Posted June 10, 2010 I'm happy for you Crazy Magnet, I love a happy story Especially here on LS because they are kinda rare...
Author Crazy Magnet Posted June 10, 2010 Author Posted June 10, 2010 I'm happy for you Crazy Magnet, I love a happy story Especially here on LS because they are kinda rare... I know! I thought we needed a happy one for a change! I wonder if I'm going to do that "nesting" thing?
Author Crazy Magnet Posted June 10, 2010 Author Posted June 10, 2010 Why the hell would he give up his pets? They are severely destructive. One of them isn't litter box trained so I draw the line at a cat peeing on everything I own (furniture, bed, floor, etc.). You can't get cat pee out. The BF had all his carpet ripped out about five years ago and hardwood put in, but the cats have also ruined the hardwood with clawing and peeing, so we're going to have to replace it all again. They shred everything, furniture, bedding, curtains, cabinets...including the walls and the kitchen counters (I kid you not, wall shredding kitties....I've never seen such a thing!) I talked him into keeping 1 and giving the other 2 away. I couldn't stand the though of him giving them all away. He's going to have to be a mostly outside kitty for a while though until I am able to train him a little bit. I've never trained a cat so I really don't know how it's going to work. Plus I have kitty allergies. I was at his house once for a total of two hours and nearly died with 3 inside cats. It was ultimately his decision on what he wanted to do.
alphamale Posted June 10, 2010 Posted June 10, 2010 Living together is kind of in the middle, we need an in the middle forum! personally i wouldn't move in until he puts a ring on your finger
Author Crazy Magnet Posted June 10, 2010 Author Posted June 10, 2010 personally i wouldn't move in until he puts a ring on your finger No man is putting a ring on my finger until I've lived with him. Lesson learned from the previous marriage.
Eeyore79 Posted June 10, 2010 Posted June 10, 2010 I wouldn't give up my pets for anyone... I guess he either really loves you or just didn't love his pets that much.
alphamale Posted June 10, 2010 Posted June 10, 2010 I wouldn't give up my pets for anyone... I guess he either really loves you or just didn't love his pets that much. indeed E79, a man who can jettison his pets may have some issues
VertexSquared Posted June 10, 2010 Posted June 10, 2010 Congrats! It sounds like things are progressing along wonderfully.
Author Crazy Magnet Posted June 11, 2010 Author Posted June 11, 2010 indeed E79, a man who can jettison his pets may have some issues It was a very long thought out process. Like I said, I talked him into keeping one cat and if they can't be placed in a home we are ok with, then we will come up with a plan B. There's not enough allergy medication in this world that would let me survive with them in the house so I don't know what we'll do. He had been contemplating giving up the two really destructive ones for about two years anyway, so it wasn't such a stretch for him to go on and do it, but me moving in was definitely the motivating factor.
alphamale Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 It was a very long thought out process. Like I said, I talked him into keeping one cat and if they can't be placed in a home we are ok with, then we will come up with a plan B. There's not enough allergy medication in this world that would let me survive with them in the house so I don't know what we'll do. He had been contemplating giving up the two really destructive ones for about two years anyway, so it wasn't such a stretch for him to go on and do it, but me moving in was definitely the motivating factor. i see.....
TheLoneSock Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 Question - how long have you been dating this guy? My guess is around 6 months?
Author Crazy Magnet Posted June 11, 2010 Author Posted June 11, 2010 Yep. And no, I have no issue with moving in with someone "so fast" because I know that's the next thing coming out of someone's mouth. hahaha
RedRussian Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 He's giving up his cats for me, the cats he's raised since they were kittens that he has had for the past 12 years and who are as much his "kids" as my dog is my "kid." He's never given up his cats before (clearly). He's also never renovated his entire house for a girl before, or even asked a girl to move in RED FLAGS ALL AROUND, this guy is crazy doormat type loser who lost his head for a Crazy Woman ( read her posts ) I mean sheesh. No wonder she is happy. I bet you million dollars he "loves" her more then she does him and it gives her a power/control trip like no other over this poor sap of a man. Yea you know what, get married to him, you deserve him.
aerogurl87 Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 He's giving up his cats for me, the cats he's raised since they were kittens that he has had for the past 12 years and who are as much his "kids" as my dog is my "kid." He's never given up his cats before (clearly). He's also never renovated his entire house for a girl before, or even asked a girl to move in RED FLAGS ALL AROUND, this guy is crazy doormat type loser who lost his head for a Crazy Woman ( read her posts ) I mean sheesh. No wonder she is happy. I bet you million dollars he "loves" her more then she does him and it gives her a power/control trip like no other over this poor sap of a man. Yea you know what, get married to him, you deserve him. Sheesh, Red Russian that's kinda harsh don't you think? Look love motivates people in ways that other things can't. Love motivated my ex to get off his lazy bum and do something with his life (join the military instead of stay home all day playing video games) and it's got me contemplating moving to another country. So is he a doormat? I doubt it, just crazily in love.
TheLoneSock Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 (edited) Yep. And no, I have no issue with moving in with someone "so fast" because I know that's the next thing coming out of someone's mouth. hahaha Well obviously you don't have an issue with it. That's my point. RedRussian may have been a bit harsh but he is onto something I noticed as well. You're moving in with the guy you're talking about in this thread here, are you not? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t216013/ I want to be nothing but happy for you, but IME 5-6 months is way too soon to co-habitate. Frankly I don't understand why this guy is rolling so fast. My only guess is that you're probably just the prettiest, or one of the prettiest girls he's ever dated. Is there something wrong with giving it a year? Again, if it works out then awesome. I'm just voicing my experience. Edited June 11, 2010 by TheLoneSock typo
Green Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 You women and your Serious relationships. I didn't realize you had been divorced so thats nice you believe in forever love again. I personaly have developed a condition where I look down upon every one including myself lately and wonder if the forever relationship is even doable. GOOD LUCK
4givrnt4gtr Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 Well, first let me start by saying Congrats on your happiness. I know its exciting and fun...and all that. Now....a disclaimer for me and for those who have posted questions and stuff, this being a forum where we get used to read and point out the "huh?? :confused:" parts, its bound to happen that we're gonna do the same with yours, despite your intentions of it being a positive post. But in my experience, it always does help to take a closer look to things we tend to overlook when we are in love. In any case, as many other have said.....the whole giving up his kitties for you....i know it feels like "wow he gave THAT up for ME?!?! AMAZING!" but Id thread carefully.....A man who can detach like that of a pet he's raised for 12 years, regardless of how destructive it is (and we'll get into that bit later too, another red flag there) makes me nervous. If he truly cared for them, he would have tried to find a solution for the problem, not just get rid of the kitties. Which makes me wonder, and I dont mean this to make you paranoid, but just a thought, what's going to happen when you and him have a huge problem that is not solvable right away?? is he going to ignore it til he can't take it anymore or something "better" comes along and then get rid of you??? Now, the whole issues of the cats....I know cats, I own a cat, have raised her for 7 years since she was a baby....I know cats have their own unique personalities and such...but they aren't destructive unless they are neglected or mistreated. The fact that he hasn't even tried to solve their destructiveness tells me he doesn't really care much about the kitties. Again, that worries me. And then, I read your other thread when you decided to date this guy....it strikes me how you were so careful and proceeded with so many calculations then to make sure you were going to date someone who would fit your needs, but now you're about to move in with someone who you don't know very well .... I agree with the other poster that asked why don't you wait at least a year to take that step?? 6 months is nothing...and though you say it doesn't bother you, I bet you anything that if you wait a little longer you will have a bit more of peace of mind. From your post it sounds to me like you're going along with a whirlwind from this guy....and from what Ive heard/read, these types of decisions should be taken with a cold head. But if you decide to go ahead and do it....i wish you luck and hope Im totally wrong about what i just said.
threebyfate Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 Another one who says watch out for anyone willing to give up pets they've had for 12 years, for not only a six month relationship but also, it's not necessary for you to move in. There's no do or die situation where either the relationship ends or you move in. It says to me, no long-term emotional depth or loyalty. It also says he's selfish.
spookie Posted June 12, 2010 Posted June 12, 2010 Who gives up their cats for a 6 month relationship????? I don't want to rain on your parade, but if I were you, I wouldn't be flattered, I'd be disgusted.
pandagirl Posted June 12, 2010 Posted June 12, 2010 If he didn't really like the cats, then I guess maybe this is a way for him to get rid of them, but if they are like "kids," then... what gives?? I honestly wouldn't *want* my boyfriend to get of his pets for me.
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