Is Porn Bad?

[Jersey Shortie]

Sivok

Men are more physical creatures, women are more emotional..

 

Men are not more physical creatures, they are just allowed to justify their behaviors more, based on sex, then women are premissible to do. Also, the response men have to porn is very emotional. That's why it's so successful with men. Porn clearly feeds into some masculine stereotypes and desires that charge a man emotionally. It's why all the men in porn always perform well, the woman loves anything a man wants to do with her even though anyone in real life can see it brings no real pleasure to a woman and many more ideologies that porn feeds about what defines masculinity. Instead of men defining it themselves and being protective of their relationships with the real woman in their lives, they pander to a media that makes other men rich.

 

Nick Sparks and Disney feast you guys with emotional fantasies of true love in the vision of a male who defines male beauty both physically and emotionally - in other words, extremely unrealistic

 

Next time you watch Die Hard, Godfather, Reservior Dogs, or other highly charged masculine movies, I'll remember your comparison of Disney and Nicholas sparks to not other blockbuster movies, but porn. It's a ridiculous comparison to be honest. Men have just as many mainstream movies that feed into their own emotional fantasies and desires.

 

And I will repeat, Nicholas Sparks and Disney do not call men names, put them into humilating positions and treat them degradingly and abusively. Porn treats women like they are worthless. And you know what? I think and alot of the other men here know this but you care too much about defending porn then being honest about how women are represented and treated.

 

 

To counter your question, how many women prefer watching romance movies of average guys with average romance skills? It's all about the Mr Big and Prince Charming

 

I'll tell you what, instead of counting my question, why don't you answer it directly and I will be more then happy to anwser this.

 

Porn provides males with alot of 'girl next door' but 'freak in the sheets' type of fantasy, with young women with perfect bodies doing things men dream of in the bedroom - also extremely unrealistic.

 

Yeap. Women get the message loud and clear where men's priorities are at and what they really enjoy about women. That's why porn is so troubling. And the fact that so many men are more happy to defend it, then protect their relationships with real living people (women ) that actually care about them.

 

Men can learn from Noah interms of satisfying the romance/treatment a woman desires, women can learn from jenna jameson or whatever interms of satisfying the physical/primal things a man desires..

 

Why don't people try engaging with the real person in their lives to learn things about what the other wnats instead of mimicing someone from a movie? I don't want to have to learn anything from Jenna Jameson because I don't want implants and I don't want to have to mimic her sexuality for a man to be pleased with me. I want him to enjoy my personal sexuality for what it is individually. But I do think men are more happy to have women to conform to a fantasy standard they can't even live up to to begin with, then really spend time getting to know what a woman really enjoys and taking the time to enjoy her sexuality for what it is. A non-hyperized expression of her sexuality instead of a "wish/dream/fantasy" he wants her to recreate by acting more like a pornstar.

 

I just am flabberghasted that an industry that regularly degrades women still has so much loyal male fan votes. Why would any man wnat to defend an industry that reguarly calls women names, shows women being gagged uncomfortablly on a dick ( you guys can't really believe that feels good for women do you?) and other hardcore acts that completely show women has nothing but a couple of holes with breasts. If there is one thing I learned from men, porn is the most important thing to them. Just look at all the porn threads on LS and how many men defend their porn instead of living in real life. They are happy to retreat to the fantasy world. Sorry guys, this is really freaking sad. It's sad that you defend and industry that makes moeny off of calling women names ,smacking them about, and uses them as nothing but a place to "bust a nut" into or on. That says something about you as men and your personal masculinity. ANd it's not positive.

 

 

People always think that the women in porn are somewhat degraded, when really, unless it's rape you are filming, it's entirely consensual and between consenting adults. They aren't being degraded if they choose to do it.

 

Harmful, please look up the definition of "degrade". No where in the discription does it say it's only degradation if a person doesn't consent to do it. Just because these women consent to do it, doesn't mean women in general, how they are depicted in porn, isn't infact degrading.

[A O]

Men are not more physical creatures, they are just allowed to justify their behaviors more, based on sex, then women are premissible to do.

Men are 'allowed' diddly squat! Men are constantly justifying their sexual nature - threads like this are a great example of that. We've become relatively proficient at justification because we're constantly hounded for our (sexual) nature. Matter of fact, we're under so much scrutiny that some men try to hide their habit, or apologize for it, or feel shamed or belittled for liking porn or having sexual urges.

 

On the flip side, when women act in a similar manner as men are well known for, they expect to do so without being subject to scrutiny, or very little scrutiny relative to men. They cry victim or unfairness when they do and have a convenient case of amnesia as far as this own behavior towards male sexuality is concerned.

 

Also, the response men have to porn is very emotional.

No more emotional than women.

 

 

.

[SpanksTheMonkey]

I guess if you measure your worth by how big your bank account is and how rich your husband is, you're good to go. I don't. While I appreicate the fact that money clearly makes life easier, I am not going to pretend I think it makes others better. And I don't think most men or women would want their children to get into the sex industry just to make alot of money.

 

 

 

I stand by my comment that most men wouldn't want their daughters to even be Kendra. Why was Kendra a troubled teen by the way? Was her childhood rocky? It's these kind of vunerable women that get set up for the industry.

 

 

 

Most women that get into the industry don't make it big like "Kendra". Porn infact does feed on the souls of vunerable women who don't have many other options or are naive about life. I will say that porn is both a symptom and cause of some very unhealthy attitudes and actions towards women. I really don't get why men want to so closely alline themselves with an industry that makes it's money off slapping women around, spitting on them, making them gag, and calling them sluts. What does this say about men's attitudes toward women? Nothing promising I can tell you that. And to think that women shouldn't be concerned is messed up.

 

 

 

 

While these things are built on fantasy, when did you ever see a Nicholas Sparks movie or a Disney flick call a man a name, smack it about, make him bend over and grab his ankles while a woman snatched his wallet and went on a shopping spree and treated him like a meanlingless disposable product?

 

How many men here watch softcore porn compared to hardcore porn? Yeah..that's what I thought.

 

 

 

Is this really the industry you want to defend Guys? Really? All I can do is shake my head because I don't get it.

 

I personally don't judge success by how large ones bank account is BUT lets face it 85% of this materialistic sociality we live in now a days dose and thats just a sad fact! you dont belive me then why on most dateing sites do they ask for your income level?

 

I'm guessing you haven't actually seen the kenda episode were they talk about her life and all before playboy? no she did not have a particularity rough child hood she was just a rebellious child.

 

Her parents did the best they could for her im not saying it dose not have its darker side but women also have a free mind and choice no? Its like the poor them attitude a bit and I just don't buy into that sorry.

 

Also what about womens romance novels? they depict women in sexual situations to no? granted its in fiction most of the time but still. if were going to go hard core poor us then its also portraying women as sex objects no? So then that said are they also adding to the degrading of women as a hole?

 

And on a last note I once had a good friend who was a working girl and I can tell you I have the utmost respect for them who's right is it to get on a high horse and make judgments on others character.

[SpanksTheMonkey]

Why? porn only exploits one part of a relationship..the physical..

 

Sex and the City shapes womens view of what a Man should do act look like etc

 

Add in women are much more slaves/sheep to pop culture/what they see on tv to let it filter to their personal lives..

 

Another point I want to bring up about Sex and the City is how raunchy that show is I tried to watch it once I did until one of the women walked in on her bf going down on another women and believe me it was graphic no hiding anything in that scene!

 

But thats ok because its light core porn made for women it has a major storie line and about oh ten zillion fans who just happen to be female! I don't sit at my PC and ogle myself to porn 24/7 people.

 

But I just think that whats good for the goose is also good for the gander no? sex is sex and unless we do away with it all together in the media then its here to stay people have a choice to be apart of it or not to watch or tune out as I did that day..

[Scottdmw]

 

"A bad workman always blames his tools." The weakness is in you, not the porn.

 

Nope. What is chilling is that people perpetually and endlessly look to blame the object, when it's the subject that should be under scrutiny.

 

Yes, of course. Until someone picks it up and does something with it, it's just a lump of crystalised cocaine. do nothing with it, and it's harmless.

 

So? Just say 'no'. Then there is no question of addiction.

 

Porn is no different. As I said, it's not the 'product'. it's the use and/or abuse that makes it a dangerous thing to handle. But it has to enjoy exposure first.

And if a person gets so out of control that the stuff becomes all important and bad for them - then it's the weakness in that person, not the porn.

 

 

Porn can only hurt you if you use it in such a way as to hurt you. it's not what it is, it's how much significance you give it.

 

 

I guess you made it pretty clear that you think if a person has a problem with porn, crack, alcohol, or any other addiction, that is the fault of the person not the addictive substance. You believe we should put the blame on the person who is addicted.

 

That's true as far as it goes. The issue to me though is, how is a person supposed to know upfront whether they will have that particular weakness or not, and what should the rest of us do about it?

 

Imagine a man or more likely a young boy considering whether to look at porn for the first time. He has no way of knowing whether he will have the weakness you are talking about. He would probably like to think he won't, but in practice he doesn't know. Is it a good risk for him to take? What if he starts using porn and only then discovers that he doesn't have the strength to use it responsibly? Wouldn't it be nice if someone at least mentioned to him that some people do end up having a great deal of problem with porn, to the point where they lose their jobs or their relationships? If someone explained to him that, perhaps, if he starts he will find himself unable to stop?

 

While your argument is logically sound, it feels kind of cold and heartless to me. I mean, we can disagree about the particular danger of porn. But, just about everyone agrees that people's lives are ruined by addiction to alcohol for example. Is the solution to say “it's that person's fault and not the alcohol” and leave the situation? I don't think so. Neither do I like the current situation with porn where no one wants to talk about the potential harm.

 

Scott

[Scottdmw]

Porn isn't an 'addictive' activity - the numbers bear this out.

 

Which numbers? Can you quote a study? I haven't been able to find one that proves anything one way or the other. It is interesting to me that no one seems to have done such a study.

 

 

The whole world knows the dangers of certain recreational drugs. Everyone knows it. But the whole world doesn't know the dangers of porn simply because relative to actual porn use and recreational drug use, the dangers are infinitesimal. But in messageboard land, anyone would quickly gain the impression that porn use was as dangerous, if not moreso, than drug use! Simply isn't the case and the real world reflects this.

 

Calling the dangers “infinitesimal” is going pretty far. I will agree that it is probably less dangerous than most recreational drugs. But, as I have already pointed out, there is no question it has substantially damaged the lives of some people.

 

Scott

[Engadget]

Which numbers? Can you quote a study? I haven't been able to find one that proves anything one way or the other. It is interesting to me that no one seems to have done such a study.

 

 

 

 

Calling the dangers “infinitesimal” is going pretty far. I will agree that it is probably less dangerous than most recreational drugs. But, as I have already pointed out, there is no question it has substantially damaged the lives of some people.

 

Scott

 

So what if it damages the lives of some people? People have free will and choice, and if they choose for it to ruin them, so be it. No one else should be punished because of it.

 

If you banned porn, you'd just create a black market for it like with the prohibition of marijuana which has been an abject failure.

 

Driving cars ruins some people, should those be taken away? Drinking does the same. Gambling, etc. etc.

 

Because some people can't handle it doesn't mean everyone else should be subjected to regulations and bans on it. I'm so sick of that mindset, it doesn't work!

[A O]

Which numbers? Can you quote a study? I haven't been able to find one that proves anything one way or the other. It is interesting to me that no one seems to have done such a study.

The numbers that show that this is such a minute problem that no one can be bothered collating data over.

 

Calling the dangers “infinitesimal” is going pretty far.

It is infinitesimal relative to use.

 

But, as I have already pointed out, there is no question it has substantially damaged the lives of some people.

And the fault lies with the individual and how they've let porn affect them moreso than porn itself.

 

.

[Jersey Shortie]

Men are 'allowed' diddly squat! Men are constantly justifying their sexual nature - threads like this are a great example of that. We've become relatively proficient at justification because we're constantly hounded for our (sexual) nature. Matter of fact, we're under so much scrutiny that some men try to hide their habit, or apologize for it, or feel shamed or belittled for liking porn or having sexual urges.

 

On the flip side, when women act in a similar manner as men are well known for, they expect to do so without being subject to scrutiny, or very little scrutiny relative to men. They cry victim or unfairness when they do and have a convenient case of amnesia as far as this own behavior towards male sexuality is concerned.

 

Men get alot of leeway for their "sexual nature". They might not get the privilages they once enjoyed where it was perfect acceptable for a married man to disrespect his wife by cheating on her. No politican could get away with what JFK did. But I think that's a good thing. Too many men abused their position of power over women's sexuality back in the day. However, while we've come along way, men still have indiscriminate amounts of leeway under co-dependent excuse of sexuality and not an inability to exercise control but a lack of *wanting* to exercise control.

 

It seems to me that alot of things about men's sexual nature discredits women. Sure, we're good enough to tumble but it seems to me that men love to remind women how interchangable they find us, how much better our younger counterparts are and how happy we should be that he lets us do his laundry while he is banging one out to 18 year old school girls. Is this sexuality or selfishness and power?

 

Women are still called sluts for enjoying their sexuality. Men still, in some regards, look down on women for having a libido. There are certain stereotypes that are alive and well. It doesn't seem very fair to me that so many men want a woman that is committed and loyal to him but he also wants for her to never forget is never-ending desire to have any woman that isn't her.

 

No more emotional than women.

 

Totally agree.

 

I personally don't judge success by how large ones bank account is BUT lets face it 85% of this materialistic sociality we live in now a days dose and thats just a sad fact! you dont belive me then why on most dateing sites do they ask for your income level?

 

No one says you have to conform to society. I infact do not like it when a man puts his income level down. It's not my business and he shouldn't feel like he has to answer every question jsut because a dating site asks for it.

 

I'm guessing you haven't actually seen the kenda episode were they talk about her life and all before playboy? no she did not have a particularity rough child hood she was just a rebellious child.

 

I didnd't even know she has a show.

 

Her parents did the best they could for her im not saying it dose not have its darker side but women also have a free mind and choice no? Its like the poor them attitude a bit and I just don't buy into that sorry.

 

Where did I say women didn't? Men have a free mind too yes? And millions of men who are husbands and fathers choose to make these women rich yes? Instead of helping their son with homework, or doing something nice for their wife. Most women that enter the industry are vunerable with little options. From what yuo described, that sounds like Kendra. She was troubled and on drugs. Most women in the industry do not turn rich. You don't have to by the "poor them atittude". But I don't think a man here wants his daughter to end up in porn or Playboy. And I don't think most men here don't see the desrespect for women from the industry. You just don't care because the desire to pleasure oneself outranks respect for women.

 

Also what about womens romance novels? they depict women in sexual situations to no? granted its in fiction most of the time but still. if were going to go hard core poor us then its also portraying women as sex objects no? So then that said are they also adding to the degrading of women as a hole?

 

So you admit porn treats women like a hole and nothing else.

 

I never found romance novels comparable. While a typical female enjoyed product, I liken it to video games for men. Video games have sexual elemants to it, men stereotypically enjoy them, but msot men aren't masturbating to them.

 

And on a last note I once had a good friend who was a working girl and I can tell you I have the utmost respect for them who's right is it to get on a high horse and make judgments on others character.

 

What negative judgements did I make on women that were working girls? Regardless of your respect for this woman, most men are eager to take the product offer and at the same time act like the woman giving him the pleasure is beneath him.

 

Another point I want to bring up about Sex and the City is how raunchy that show is I tried to watch it once I did until one of the women walked in on her bf going down on another women and believe me it was graphic no hiding anything in that scene!

 

But thats ok because its light core porn made for women it has a major storie line and about oh ten zillion fans who just happen to be female! I don't sit at my PC and ogle myself to porn 24/7 people.

 

I doubt anyone does it 24/7. Fact remains, men are spending more time with porn then ever before in history. I don't know about you but I don't think that's something men should be exactly proud of. We aren't talking about a magazine once a month anymore. Women can't ever get a break.

 

As for Sex and the City, I remember taht scene and yes it was raunchy. How many women do you think were actually masturbating to it? Please take a poll and ask. Sex and the City, while ground-breakingly sexual, isn't comparable to pornography. The Sopranos, something I know alot of men enjoyed, would be comparable. So you want to compare The Soprano's sexual imagery to SATC, fine. But to compare it to porn is a cheap trick.

[Tony]

This thread has worn itself out. Please don't start another one like it for a few years. Thanks!