Is Porn Bad?

[Peitho]

You know what?

Whatever...

Twice in the above post you've contradicted yourself.

I'll leave you to figure out where.

Again - great argument!

[TaraMaiden]

Oh you get no argument from me.

I just don't want to engage with you on this. Bias and prejudice don't sit well with me, and your judgemental attitude stinks.

 

Rant all you like, I'm done with you.

[Peitho]

Oh you get no argument from me.

I just don't want to engage with you on this.

I get no argument from you because you don’t have one. Plain and simple

 

Oh you get no argument from me.

Bias and prejudice don't sit well with me, and your judgemental attitude stinks.

Rant all you like, I'm done with you.

You realise that you are judging me, don’t you?

In he same sentence in which you are accusing me of being judgmental

[Peitho]

Rant all you like, I'm done with you.

 

Wow, someone has a superiority complex....

 

---

 

One more thing Tara, – women who sell sex do not discriminate… they sleep with married men and men in long term relationships… still cool?

 

How many women would be cool with their SO sleeping with one of them? And consider that to be 'respectable' behavior?

[Jersey Shortie]

SpanksThe Monkey

At the end of the day shes the one with the huge bank account and the football star husband you think she would have gotten those things with out playboy?

 

I guess if you measure your worth by how big your bank account is and how rich your husband is, you're good to go. I don't. While I appreicate the fact that money clearly makes life easier, I am not going to pretend I think it makes others better. And I don't think most men or women would want their children to get into the sex industry just to make alot of money.

 

SpanksThe Monkey

Sure its possible but she choose to use her sexuality to get it instead hey more power to her. Before then she was a troubled teen hooked on drugs complete with a dead beet bf on the road to no were quickly!

 

I stand by my comment that most men wouldn't want their daughters to even be Kendra. Why was Kendra a troubled teen by the way? Was her childhood rocky? It's these kind of vunerable women that get set up for the industry.

 

SpanksThe Monkey

But I refuse to believe its some monster who feeds on the souls of helpless women. As I said in a earlier post no one can make you feel worthless you have to allow it.

 

Saying porn is evil is just using it as a scape goat for todays real issues like people not taking any personal responsibility thats jmo tho..

 

Most women that get into the industry don't make it big like "Kendra". Porn infact does feed on the souls of vunerable women who don't have many other options or are naive about life. I will say that porn is both a symptom and cause of some very unhealthy attitudes and actions towards women. I really don't get why men want to so closely alline themselves with an industry that makes it's money off slapping women around, spitting on them, making them gag, and calling them sluts. What does this say about men's attitudes toward women? Nothing promising I can tell you that. And to think that women shouldn't be concerned is messed up.

 

 

Sivok

I couldn't agree with you more! Disney/ChickFlicks/RomanceNovels are emotional porn for women.

 

Take away my porn when you take away your Nicholas Sparks movies and Nora Roberts books

 

While these things are built on fantasy, when did you ever see a Nicholas Sparks movie or a Disney flick call a man a name, smack it about, make him bend over and grab his ankles while a woman snatched his wallet and went on a shopping spree and treated him like a meanlingless disposable product?

 

How many men here watch softcore porn compared to hardcore porn? Yeah..that's what I thought.

 

Steve:

I never saw myself doing it but i figured i need money desprately,some of the women there were in bad shape on drugs etc but none of em had a gun to their head to do it like myself

 

It did kinda ruin my sex life for awhile,i could only function in bed doing things on did on camera like choek women,stick their head in toilets spit in their mouths etc i got therapy and i have changed somewhat

 

Is this really the industry you want to defend Guys? Really? All I can do is shake my head because I don't get it.

[bac]

Watching porn is your private/personal thing. So, you do have to confess it to anyone unless it is in your own interests.

In other words, you first get to know your GF's opinion and values towards porn. Then you make your intelligent decision about your confessions about watching porn. It is totally fine to be direct and open if she loves that you/or herself/or you both watching porn. Because it means that you are both on the same page, so, she can understand your desire for porn, even she is a female.

[Peitho]

Watching porn is your private/personal thing. So, you do have to confess it to anyone unless it is in your own interests.

In other words, you first get to know your GF's opinion and values towards porn. Then you make your intelligent decision about your confessions about watching porn. It is totally fine to be direct and open if she loves that you/or herself/or you both watching porn. Because it means that you are both on the same page, so, she can understand your desire for porn, even she is a female.

Hmm…

 

So she should look after her own interests too?

 

Pretend and test you until she finds out what you really think about porn and then make her own decision?

 

Sounds fair to you?

[A O]

What do you call the article I originally posted, where 17 men from the upper echelons of the SEC were all busted for it?

All busted for what - porn use. That's inappropriate workplace behavior, possibly a sackable offence. That's about the arse-end of it unless you're in the 'anti' brigade and want to make a mountain out of a molehill.

 

I don't think anyone is saying porn is as addictive as crack for example, such that it tends to immediately destroy the life of anyone who uses it. Different things can have a different level of addictive potential. Alcohol is addictive for some but not most, and has definitely destroyed the lives of a lot of people, but it doesn't meet your 25-30 million man criteria for counting, not even nearly.

Porn isn't an 'addictive' activity - the numbers bear this out. But for those who like to use term, then porn is no more addictive that food, alcoholic and a myriad of pursuits and activities, henceforth, the term can be applied to so many things and activities in this world that it renders the term almost meaningless.

 

This topic comes up all the time here on LS, with all kinds of women saying that it has damaged their relationship. I would venture to say it is blamed for that more than any other single topic that comes up on this particular board. Obviously it is having an impact on the lives of a lot of people.

The whole world knows the dangers of certain recreational drugs. Everyone knows it. But the whole world doesn't know the dangers of porn simply because relative to actual porn use and recreational drug use, the dangers are infinitesimal. But in messageboard land, anyone would quickly gain the impression that porn use was as dangerous, if not moreso, than drug use! Simply isn't the case and the real world reflects this.

 

We can argue about how big of a problem it is, or exactly how dangerous. But saying it is not dangerous or never harms anyone, or even that it only harms a few people, doesn't seem like it's supported by the evidence. Scott

Its all about degree. There's two main sides in this debate, on one side you have the doom n gloom - the world is falling to pieces because of porn brigade and on the other side you have the 'she'll be right, no need to get your knickers in a twist, porn is all good' brigade. I represent the third side - the mostly silent majority crowd who can see, and are mindful of, both sides of the fence which allows us to keep things firmly in perspective.

 

 

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[marsle85]

Give me a freakin' break, there is nothing stellar about porn. Women making a considerable small fortune, and marrying the "football star" is unlikely, and a weak argument. Regardless, porn isn't going way- and isn't hugely detrimental (in my opinion) to the majority of society... but don't defend it with pacific debates and ignore the repercussions these men and women face.

 

The question is, why aren't pornographic actors required to wear condoms?

[Peitho]

That's about the arse-end of it unless you're in the 'anti' brigade and want to make a mountain out of a molehill.

...

I represent the third side - the mostly silent majority crowd who can see, and are mindful of, both sides of the fence which allows us to keep things firmly in perspective.

 

From your post, you sound pro porn to me.

 

What makes you the third side?

What perspective are you talking about?

[PJKino]

Id venture Sex and the City negatively effected women just as bad as porn does some Men but in a different way

[Peitho]

Id venture Sex and the City negatively effected women just as bad as porn does some Men but in a different way

Maybe..

Which way?

[Sivok]

While these things are built on fantasy, when did you ever see a Nicholas Sparks movie or a Disney flick call a man a name, smack it about, make him bend over and grab his ankles while a woman snatched his wallet and went on a shopping spree and treated him like a meanlingless disposable product?

 

How many men here watch softcore porn compared to hardcore porn? Yeah..that's what I thought.

I'm comparing Disney to Porn... My post was in jest. However, if you really do want to look at it, here are some loosely put together thoughts on the matter:

 

Men are more physical creatures, women are more emotional. Nick Sparks and Disney feast you guys with emotional fantasies of true love in the vision of a male who defines male beauty both physically and emotionally - in other words, extremely unrealistic. To counter your question, how many women prefer watching romance movies of average guys with average romance skills? It's all about the Mr Big and Prince Charming

 

Porn provides males with alot of 'girl next door' but 'freak in the sheets' type of fantasy, with young women with perfect bodies doing things men dream of in the bedroom - also extremely unrealistic.

 

Sure, both have things that can satisfy either sexes, but they're each clearly targeted at specific genders. How either is perceived can also have varying degrees on a relationship too - Men can learn from Noah interms of satisfying the romance/treatment a woman desires, women can learn from jenna jameson or whatever interms of satisfying the physical/primal things a man desires..Again, I'm talking about reasonable notions of both forms of media - not crazy fetishes like vampire romances(ladies) or a one guy 5some(guys). I swear if I hear another female friend of mine talking about wanting a bf like Edward I'm going to go postal

Edited June 16, 2010 by Sivok

[marsle85]

Id venture Sex and the City negatively effected women just as bad as porn does some Men but in a different way

 

Very unlikely due to many different factors.

 

One, porn is much more extreme: grabs more attention, more memorable.

Porn is more common: Easily accessible, more frequent and is universally pursued.

Porn has been around much longer.

 

Not to mention, that comparison is crap. The romanticism provided by Disney is probably the closest variable I could think of... as research does suggest it plays a part in how girls who watched Disney films often effect how we view romantic relationships.

 

Sex and the city? Gimmi a break.

[A O]

From your post, you sound pro porn to me.

I'm more an anti-bullshyt crusader than a pro-porn campaigner.

 

What makes you the third side? What perspective are you talking about?

I'm one of many who sits outside of the two main camps. I'm aware that porn can be an issue for some people, so I'll listen first before making any sort of judgment call. Likewise, I'm aware that porn isn't an issue for the majority of people so I make that point known. The perspective is one where you're either heavily in favour of one or the other and simply won't listen to one iota of what the other side is saying.

 

 

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[PJKino]

Very unlikely due to many different factors.

 

One, porn is much more extreme: grabs more attention, more memorable.

Porn is more common: Easily accessible, more frequent and is universally pursued.

Porn has been around much longer.

 

Not to mention, that comparison is crap. The romanticism provided by Disney is probably the closest variable I could think of... as research does suggest it plays a part in how girls who watched Disney films often effect how we view romantic relationships.

 

Sex and the city? Gimmi a break.

 

Why? porn only exploits one part of a relationship..the physical..

 

Sex and the City shapes womens view of what a Man should do act look like etc

 

Add in women are much more slaves/sheep to pop culture/what they see on tv to let it filter to their personal lives..

[marsle85]

 

Men are more physical creatures, women are more emotional.

 

I HATE THIS ARGUMENT! We are NOT separate entities. We are a SINGULAR species. That's like saying female chimps are more "physical" than male chimps. It's just not SO. They're the same freakin' species, and contrary to how we glorify humankind- biologically we are practically the same.

 

Environmental effectors, on the other hand- provide us with this blurred conception of how men are from Mars, and women are from Venus. We're animals. End of story. Men are not more "physical," or "visual" or any other justification men have for porn. Men just are ENCOURAGED to pursue porn, enjoy porn and sex. Biologically, sure- we have hormones that alter how we pursue relationships, and desires... but men aren't significantly more "physical".

[marsle85]

Why? porn only exploits one part of a relationship..the physical..

 

Sex and the City shapes womens view of what a Man should do act look like etc

 

Add in women are much more slaves/sheep to pop culture/what they see on tv to let it filter to their personal lives..

 

Women are more likely to be "slaves" to pop culture? Research please. I'm not sure if that's the terminology any researcher would use, so before interpreting this (so far non-existent evidence) stick with the facts. It's possible women "respond" (physically, emotionally) more to media stimuli, but I think you'd find men are just as swayed by what we view on TV, as women.

 

Porn does not just exploit merely the physical. That is a very shallow conclusion. The majority of porn exposes women as inferior, sex-hungry bimbos... That's not emotional? If media was just purely physical, we wouldn't cry at the end of a movie, or even watch movies at all. Men adn women come back for more porn because of endorphins being pumped into our blood. Endorphins that are released because of the pleasure of physical sensation- and the release of serotonin because of the mental, emotional, psychological thrill of what we're watching.

 

Porn does not just function to jack you off. Any sort of media (Sex and the City included) work to attach us to the stigma, and encourage our return.

 

I'm not doubting that Sex and the City did not provide some of what I described, I'm saying it's not nearly a variable that is equivalent to the expansionism of pornography. It's just not simply possible. Frequency-wise, pornography comes if much many formats (not just a single film) appeals to a variety of different tastes (not just women who like fashion/NYC/etc.) and has simply been around much longer. Plus, is more extreme.

[A O]

I HATE THIS ARGUMENT! We are NOT separate entities. We are a SINGULAR species.

All good in theory, doesn't play out the same in real life. It doesn't matter what shapes our differences as much as it does acknowledging the fact that we are different in many areas.

 

Environmental effectors, on the other hand- provide us with this blurred conception of how men are from Mars, and women are from Venus. We're animals. End of story.

That won't play out in a court of law.

 

Men just are ENCOURAGED to pursue porn, enjoy porn and sex. Biologically, sure- we have hormones that alter how we pursue relationships, and desires... but men aren't significantly more "physical".

Encouraged by what and whom?

 

Women are more likely to be "slaves" to pop culture? Research please. I'm not sure if that's the terminology any researcher would use, so before interpreting this (so far non-existent evidence) stick with the facts. It's possible women "respond" (physically, emotionally) more to media stimuli, but I think you'd find men are just as swayed by what we view on TV, as women.

Please, don't demand facts if all you've got is an opinion in return! Simple case of semantics here overall. Other than that, I'll argue that the media targets women more than men and that is why the perception that women 'respond' more to it exists.

 

Porn does not just function to jack you off.

That is its primary function.

 

 

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[Peitho]

Men pursue porn and sex because we enjoy porn and sex. Women hate sex and think that everything that has to do with sex is disgusting, hence the reason why women never watch porn or pursue sex.

So if women hate sex who are those women you are having sex with?

Are you raping them? Or you enjoy sex with other men?

Those women in porn must hate sex too.

Are they abused?

 

Please clarify

[Sivok]

Biologically, sure- we have hormones that alter how we pursue relationships, and desires... but men aren't significantly more "physical".

Yes, it's scientifically proven we are:

 

http://www.cnn.com/2010/OPINION/03/23/brizendine.male.brain/index.html

 

enjoy

[harmfulsweetz]

What BS.

I know two women who have sex for money. Their self-respect and self-esteem is through the roof. They enjoy what they do, and one of them has a daughter.

her daughter is studying to be a veterinary surgeon and is a level-headed, articulate and well-balanced person. She knows what her mother does.

 

You generalise.

Please know that your generalisation - as with all generalisations - is merely an assumption stemming from a seat of personal prejudice and revulsion.

I consider these people to be extremely respectable.

They pay their taxes, and earn a living.

They don't take drugs, scrounge off the state and everything they have, they own.

 

So - what's your definition of 'respectable'?

 

 

Amen. Agreed 100%. People instantly think of 'skanks' when they hear the term 'sex for money'-but it's not always the case. I was watching a documentary about women who have sex for money, not on the streets for cameras and that, and they said they enjoy sex, so why not get paid for it? I wouldn't say they lacked self respect.

 

People always think that the women in porn are somewhat degraded, when really, unless it's rape you are filming, it's entirely consensual and between consenting adults. They aren't being degraded if they choose to do it. If they feel degraded by what they do, it's their fault for doing it. The whole 'it objectifies women' arguments never sit well with me, because some women do use their sexuality to get ahead in life, and I say, why not? Katie Price a.k.a. Jordan has made something like 40 million pounds doing just that. Whatever anyone says about people like her...she's laughing to the bank.

[harmfulsweetz]

Yep, always a great argument that one

 

 

Even if this is true, how does that prove anything?

In previous posts you claimed (and even gave your own example) that anecdotal evidence is not reliable and cannot be used to make definite conclusions about the topic.

 

 

And what does that prove? Her daughter obviously chose a respectable profession.

I never said that children of those who have sex for money are not respectable people.

 

 

I do generalise.

Just like everyone in this thread.

There may be one prostitute out there who would be worth my respect. Maybe. But this is not a rule. Far from it.

 

 

Oh really?

And you can claim that because what you say (and think) is an absolute truth?

 

 

 

You know, that actually proves my point.

Pornification of the media is taking its tall - normal, intelligent people like you now think about prostitutes as ‘extremely respectable’ people

 

 

Respectable = deserving respect

You can use it in a sense of ‘getting respect’ because, let’s face it, even men who pay for sex don’t respect women who do it.

 

In the context of this thread:.

A woman who has sex for money cannot possibly find every man attractive and sexually desirable – some of them must be not attractive (to her) and some of them would be repulsive (to her).

A woman who has sex with a man whom she finds repulsive is not a healthy person with high self-respect and high self-esteem.

 

But what if she only had sex with the men she was attracted to? At the end of it all, it boils down to choice. They want to do it, are happy doing it, safe doing it, it's all good.

 

I don't see your argument here. You're making the generalization that all women who are paid for sex are not worthy of respect, how come? Do you know women like this? If you did, maybe you might think differently? I don't personally, but I like to keep an open mind and not judge people as a whole, rather as individuals.

[marsle85]

All good in theory, doesn't play out the same in real life. It doesn't matter what shapes our differences as much as it does acknowledging the fact that we are different in many areas.

 

We glorify how different we are. The "special" feeling our gender's individuality generates is what feeds this concept. Sure, we're different in many areas. Human behavior varies across a span... the questions is (atleast in my opinion) is this range really that broad? The similarities among men and women are infinitesimal... even the "differences" you're referring to don't alter our behavior that much. Somehow we still are a majorly monogamous breed, still relatively desire the same qualities in a partner, live the same way. The differences that do exist are blown out of the water, and are likely the root of sexism. And I mean "man hating," and "women hating." Instead of a difference of interests, it's a person's sex that is the true cause of the problem. I disagree. You're free to your opinion, but as a student who has rigorously pursued gender studies and sociology, the man vs. women argument is a cop-out.

 

That won't play out in a court of law.

Also not the most reliable debate concerning (as you called it) real life.

 

Please, don't demand facts if all you've got is an opinion in return! Simple case of semantics here overall. Other than that, I'll argue that the media targets women more than men and that is why the perception that women 'respond' more to it exists.

Nothing about my comment was opinion. I bit onto his partly incomprehensible post:

 

"Women are more likely to be "slaves" to pop culture? Research please. I'm not sure if that's the terminology any researcher would use, so before interpreting this (so far non-existent evidence) stick with the facts. It's possible women "respond" (physically, emotionally) more to media stimuli, but I think you'd find men are just as swayed by what we view on TV, as women."

 

I asked for "facts," because as a researcher- I know that no rational-minded investigator would ever identify a variable as "slaves". From there, I assumed that's not what he meant (I considered semantics) and tried to weigh his opinion. What I gathered is what followed: women responding more to media stimuli. Albeit not factual, it is a certainly much more sound hypothesis than the one provided. Furthermore, your theory merely branched off mine. So... thank you.

 

That is its primary function.

Right. However the consequences exceed the goal of masturbation... my discussion did as well. I'm not frequently involved in conversations limited to busting nuts.

[A O]

We glorify how different we are.

The differences are real. Trying to explain them or use them in proper context is often the problem. Too many people downplay them or write them off because others use them to justify their stance or drive a wedge between the sexes instead of as a source of understanding.

 

You're free to your opinion, but as a student who has rigorously pursued gender studies and sociology, the man vs. women argument is a cop-out.

What you learn in the classroom should only ever be seen as a start point. Expand what you know - don't be a slave to it.

 

Nothing about my comment was opinion.

When anyone uses phrases like "its possible" and "I think" then yes, they are speaking more opinion than fact.

 

Right. However the consequences exceed the goal of masturbation... my discussion did as well. .

And the consequences are what again and what percentage of men seek or are influenced by these consequences relative to simply using porn as a masturbation aid?

 

Also....I'm still looking for answer to this - "Men just are ENCOURAGED to pursue porn, enjoy porn and sex."

 

What or whom encourages men to pursue and enjoy porn and sex. And why is this and why also, does this not apply equally to women (because you wouldn't have said it if it did).

 

 

 

.