Is Porn Bad?

[Scottdmw]

 

Now, if this were true - if porn really was addictive, and thus lead to full-on addiction, then in the US alone, one would expect to see around 25-30 million men (and that's a very conservative figure) whom have allowed their porn use to destroy themselves or their relationships. Now, I'll go ultra conservative and say that half of these men weren't in a relationship when they fell prey to this so-called addiction, so that'll still be around 12-15 million men, thus relationships, that have been harmed, if not outright destroyed due to porn. And if this were even remotely true, then the amount of media coverage, political debate/action and statistics available would be as wide-spread and as easily available as any debate over drugs/crime/violence and other anti-social behaviors.

 

.

 

What do you call the article I originally posted, where 17 men from the upper echelons of the SEC were all busted for it? Unless you are willing to call that a huge statistical aberration, I think it's pretty obvious that must happen all over the place and is just not making the news most of the time. Or are you really ready to claim that something about the SEC made the men there use porn at work a lot more than anywhere else?

 

I don't think anyone is saying porn is as addictive as crack for example, such that it tends to immediately destroy the life of anyone who uses it. Different things can have a different level of addictive potential. Alcohol is addictive for some but not most, and has definitely destroyed the lives of a lot of people, but it doesn't meet your 25-30 million man criteria for counting, not even nearly.

 

This topic comes up all the time here on LS, with all kinds of women saying that it has damaged their relationship. I would venture to say it is blamed for that more than any other single topic that comes up on this particular board. Obviously it is having an impact on the lives of a lot of people.

 

We can argue about how big of a problem it is, or exactly how dangerous. But saying it is not dangerous or never harms anyone, or even that it only harms a few people, doesn't seem like it's supported by the evidence.

 

Scott

[TaraMaiden]

What do you call the article I originally posted, where 17 men from the upper echelons of the SEC were all busted for it? Unless you are willing to call that a huge statistical aberration

You cannot claim this to be a statistically correct evaluation marking a general national percentage.

My mother has a group of lady friends in Italy, who all got together to celebrate a friend's birthday, one summer afternoon.

Feeling a little chilly, one lady decided to return home and fetch a warm wrap for the evening - it would only take her about 10 minutes.

When she reached home, she found her husband - and all the other husbands of the ladies' group all involved - in what could only be described loosely as 'homosexually-oriented shenanigans'. (I will add at this point, my mother wasn't involved or present, and neither was my father!)

By your assessment and evaluation, it would therefore be safe to say, that all men in that village are probably drawn to performing and enacting homosexually-typical acts.... That's a bit far-fetched, don't you think?

 

I think it's pretty obvious that must happen all over the place and is just not making the news most of the time. Or are you really ready to claim that something about the SEC made the men there use porn at work a lot more than anywhere else?

I think it must have been a bit like a stag party at a lap-dancing bar. Not all of the men would necessarily be habitually drawn to that behaviour, but collective testosterone is a compelling thing.

 

I don't think anyone is saying porn is as addictive as crack for example, such that it tends to immediately destroy the life of anyone who uses it. Different things can have a different level of addictive potential. Alcohol is addictive for some but not most, and has definitely destroyed the lives of a lot of people, but it doesn't meet your 25-30 million man criteria for counting, not even nearly.

And so it follows that neither does your assessment.....

 

This topic comes up all the time here on LS, with all kinds of women saying that it has damaged their relationship. I would venture to say it is blamed for that more than any other single topic that comes up on this particular board. Obviously it is having an impact on the lives of a lot of people.

Yes, but this is a forum focussed on discussing relationships and the effects of different factors. I thing affairs and emotional extra-marital relationships figure more...

On a cookery forum, for example, you'd be hard put to find anything about porn, but a whole lot on how to rescue an over-salted stew....

 

We can argue about how big of a problem it is, or exactly how dangerous. But saying it is not dangerous or never harms anyone, or even that it only harms a few people, doesn't seem like it's supported by the evidence.

You haven't presented any. All you've done is describe an incident. If porn damages a relationship, I don't think it would be the only factor inflicting damage in that relationship. There would be other factors, like poor communication, lack of understanding, and other factors that have contributed, too....

Porn, on its own, is just porn. Crack, on its own, is just crack. Alcohol, on its own, is just alcohol.

What you do with them, is the key.

[Bangle]

Porn is only bad if men who watch it develop the notion that sex with a girlfriend will encompass the same things that porno does i.e. cum bubbles in the anus hole.

[blair08]

Confused now OP? I mean you have some people who will tell you it is some that say its not. Besides if you love it, enjoy it and find nothing wrong with it anyway, no matter what your g/f says or thinks then you'll keep doing it anyway. So enjoy.

[Jersey Shortie]

Porn. Treating women like they are worthless since 1432. And men love it.

[SpanksTheMonkey]

Porn. Treating women like they are worthless since 1432. And men love it.

 

No one can make you feel worthless unless you allow it those women ant exactly tied down to the bed! That said I think its only a prob when men become obsessed with it and use it to replace their gfs.

 

I don't agree with women who don't let there guys ever look at it try to take something away and you only make it more desirable to some after all.

[Sivok]

If anything, porn just makes me desire sex more . It's a very inferior supplement for sex in my experience, so I have a hard time understanding those who would prefer it over a real woman.

[TaraMaiden]

Porn. Treating women like they are worthless since 1432. And men love it.

I think you're being unnaturally 'coy' about the date.

You need to go back a lot further than that.

After all, they call being a lawyer the second oldest profession in the world, but it's similar in its objective....

As spanks said, not everyone in the porn industry is there against their will.

Some people must be doing it because they enjoy it....no?

[Eoweniel]

Porn. Treating women like they are worthless since 1432. And men love it.

 

Someone should totally make a motivational poster out of this. With a fitting picture. (Non-pornographic, men., Sorry!)

[Jersey Shortie]

If someone made a poster it would probably have to be a group of average joes standing infront of a computer screen with a glazed look over their faces and a pool of drool (or worse) forms below them. And the girl on screen will be a young 18 year old girl with implants while a man stands over exerting his grand dominance over the female who most cases is being reminded she is just a slut because he feels imasculated in real life.

 

 

I don't agree with women who don't let there guys ever look at it try to take something away and you only make it more desirable to some after all.

 

I don't agree with anyone who tells a grown adult "they are not allowed to do x,y or z" myself. What does that have to do with anything?

 

 

If anything, porn just makes me desire sex more . It's a very inferior supplement for sex in my experience, so I have a hard time understanding those who would prefer it over a real woman.

 

Most men don't necessarily want it in place of a real woman. They want it in tandem, conjecture, dually with relation to the real physical person in their lives. Because porn clearly gives men something that they can't get but want from their real partnerships with real women. Some use use it to make themselves sexually excited enough to bang it out with a real person. Or to make the sexual experience with a real person more sexually stimulating. Which never made sense to me when they would argue that they prefer a real woman if they need porn to make an experience more sexually exciting.

 

Furthermore, if you can't be excited enough on your own without porn, then you aren't horny right? Why would you make yourself horny? I don't vomit to try and make myself hungry.

 

 

I think you're being unnaturally 'coy' about the date.

 

Tara, I am being "naturally" coy.

 

As spanks said, not everyone in the porn industry is there against their will.

Some people must be doing it because they enjoy it.

 

Who said they were forced? Who is forcing men that are fathers, brothers, husbands, boyfriends, uncles and grandfathers to watch it?

 

I think there is alot of ignorance about what the industry is really about when these young women go into it. At 18, awe aren't exactly knowledgable. Women who go into the business for the most part, don't think they have many other oppurtunities. And even while a small percentage of the female population decides to do porn, it doesn't mean that's not degrading to them or that it's not a degrading repensentation to the general female population considering how women on in general represented in porn, the amount of men that do start suggesting things in the bedroom with a real woman that sexually excite them in porn, and the general overall name calling of belitting women like calling women sluts..bitches...etc etc. There are general terms meant to represent women. Just because women agree to do it, doesn't mean it's not degrading. No man on this earth that has a daughter, would have hopes that she would do porn. Becasue no man wants his blood to be used by other men like a tissue. Because that is about disrespect. We all know this. It's okay for men to belittle and degrade women sexually. That's the message porn says. And women love every minutes of it because we clearly don't have any other aspirations in life but get imiplants and learn how to swallow sperm. That's the fantasy men want. Men don't want to recongize women as people on a fundemental sad level.

[SpanksTheMonkey]

If someone made a poster it would probably have to be a group of average joes standing infront of a computer screen with a glazed look over their faces and a pool of drool (or worse) forms below them. And the girl on screen will be a young 18 year old girl with implants while a man stands over exerting his grand dominance over the female who most cases is being reminded she is just a slut because he feels imasculated in real life.

 

 

 

 

I don't agree with anyone who tells a grown adult "they are not allowed to do x,y or z" myself. What does that have to do with anything?

 

 

 

 

Most men don't necessarily want it in place of a real woman. They want it in tandem, conjecture, dually with relation to the real physical person in their lives. Because porn clearly gives men something that they can't get but want from their real partnerships with real women. Some use use it to make themselves sexually excited enough to bang it out with a real person. Or to make the sexual experience with a real person more sexually stimulating. Which never made sense to me when they would argue that they prefer a real woman if they need porn to make an experience more sexually exciting.

 

Furthermore, if you can't be excited enough on your own without porn, then you aren't horny right? Why would you make yourself horny? I don't vomit to try and make myself hungry.

 

 

 

 

Tara, I am being "naturally" coy.

 

 

 

Who said they were forced? Who is forcing men that are fathers, brothers, husbands, boyfriends, uncles and grandfathers to watch it?

 

I think there is alot of ignorance about what the industry is really about when these young women go into it. At 18, awe aren't exactly knowledgable. Women who go into the business for the most part, don't think they have many other oppurtunities. And even while a small percentage of the female population decides to do porn, it doesn't mean that's not degrading to them or that it's not a degrading repensentation to the general female population considering how women on in general represented in porn, the amount of men that do start suggesting things in the bedroom with a real woman that sexually excite them in porn, and the general overall name calling of belitting women like calling women sluts..bitches...etc etc. There are general terms meant to represent women. Just because women agree to do it, doesn't mean it's not degrading. No man on this earth that has a daughter, would have hopes that she would do porn. Becasue no man wants his blood to be used by other men like a tissue. Because that is about disrespect. We all know this. It's okay for men to belittle and degrade women sexually. That's the message porn says. And women love every minutes of it because we clearly don't have any other aspirations in life but get imiplants and learn how to swallow sperm. That's the fantasy men want. Men don't want to recongize women as people on a fundemental sad level.

 

Ever see the girls of the playboy mansion? some girls use sexuality to further themselves in life. The one girl Kendra even has her own spin off of it now and im fairly sure I saw her say playboy was the best thing to ever happen to her! im not saying porn is always a wonderful thing but its not always completely evil as well..

[Jersey Shortie]

I guess I don't think bonking an 80 year old man and having a sex ape is exactly furthering oneself even if you made money off of it. I don't think most men would even want their daughters to be Kendra.

[SpanksTheMonkey]

I guess I don't think bonking an 80 year old man and having a sex ape is exactly furthering oneself even if you made money off of it. I don't think most men would even want their daughters to be Kendra.

 

At the end of the day shes the one with the huge bank account and the football star husband you think she would have gotten those things with out playboy?

 

Sure its possible but she choose to use her sexuality to get it instead hey more power to her. Before then she was a troubled teen hooked on drugs complete with a dead beet bf on the road to no were quickly!

 

If you ever watch her show her mom dose not exactly seam ashamed of her daughter ether. Sure porn has a seedy dark side like allot of things in life granted.

 

But I refuse to believe its some monster who feeds on the souls of helpless women. As I said in a earlier post no one can make you feel worthless you have to allow it.

 

Saying porn is evil is just using it as a scape goat for todays real issues like people not taking any personal responsibility thats jmo tho..

[Scottdmw]

You cannot claim this to be a statistically correct evaluation marking a general national percentage.

My mother has a group of lady friends in Italy, who all got together to celebrate a friend's birthday, one summer afternoon.

Feeling a little chilly, one lady decided to return home and fetch a warm wrap for the evening - it would only take her about 10 minutes.

When she reached home, she found her husband - and all the other husbands of the ladies' group all involved - in what could only be described loosely as 'homosexually-oriented shenanigans'. (I will add at this point, my mother wasn't involved or present, and neither was my father!)

By your assessment and evaluation, it would therefore be safe to say, that all men in that village are probably drawn to performing and enacting homosexually-typical acts.... That's a bit far-fetched, don't you think?

 

There is some validity to your point. It would depend on exactly what went on at the SEC. If all the men were aware of each other's porn use, and egged each other on so to speak, then you are right, it doesn't count as 17 independent incidents in a small population. However, if the men at the SEC did not talk about their porn use at work with each other, then it does. The news articles don't mention this, so I guess we can't really say for sure. I'm more inclined to believe that if a man was looking at porn eight hours a day on the job he would not be advertising that fact. Each man might very much want to be doing that himself, but still be capable of getting angry if he thought a coworker was slacking off.

 

Even if they did egg each other on, surely you can see that porn severely damaged these men's lives? They lost their jobs, and no doubt while they were on the job their performance was significantly compromised. Also, their particular jobs were critical to the nation's economic well-being. It is quite possible that their slacking off had a significant negative impact on a great number of people. If porn did not exist, do you think they would've done the same thing with Farmville or some other Internet distraction?

 

Also, do you believe that this sort of thing is not widespread? A lot of men really like their porn. Why wouldn't they be looking at work if they thought they could get away with it? At least one guy at my workplace got caught doing it, and they hardly pay attention here at all.

 

I have a personal friend who told me he thought porn had significantly damaged his personality. I've already mentioned to you in a previous post that I thought it had bad effects on me too. Maybe you remember Ted Bundy, the famous serial killer from the 80’s? People asked him why he did it and his answer was because he got into porn. Guys like that always look for something to blame I suppose, but it's still a little chilling.

 

 

You haven't presented any. All you've done is describe an incident. porn damages a relationship, I don't think it would be the only factor inflicting damage in that relationship. There would be other factors, like poor communication, lack of understanding, and other factors that have contributed, too....

Porn, on its own, is just porn. Crack, on its own, is just crack. Alcohol, on its own, is just alcohol.

What you do with them, is the key.

 

Crack on its own is just crack huh? It is also extremely addictive to the point where I don't think there's anyone that can use it without getting addicted. Do you think you could take a man in an otherwise completely healthy relationship, have him get addicted to crack, and not severely damage the relationship? Why is porn different, other than the fact that not as many people seem to get addicted to it?

 

I don't know, I guess if you really want to believe that porn is harmless, you will believe that. I just don't see how you can dismiss so much evidence that it has hurt some people.

 

Scott

[TaraMaiden]

There is some validity to your point. It would depend on exactly what went on at the SEC. If all the men were aware of each other's porn use, and egged each other on so to speak, then you are right, it doesn't count as 17 independent incidents in a small population. However, if the men at the SEC did not talk about their porn use at work with each other, then it does. The news articles don't mention this, so I guess we can't really say for sure. I'm more inclined to believe that if a man was looking at porn eight hours a day on the job he would not be advertising that fact. Each man might very much want to be doing that himself, but still be capable of getting angry if he thought a coworker was slacking off.

And I think this is what it hinges on....

 

Even if they did egg each other on, surely you can see that porn severely damaged these men's lives? They lost their jobs, and no doubt while they were on the job their performance was significantly compromised.

They didn't specifically lose their jobs because they were watching porn, per se..... They lost their jobs because they were using company equipment for other than company use, and did not fulfil their criteria of their contractual obligations. it could have been gambling on-line, it could have been World of Warcraft. The porn wasn't specifically the issue. Their shirking and misuse of company resources was.

 

From the article:

First, government computers must need better firewalls to block out this content. Second, this is a pretty grim verdict on the effectiveness of regulators.

 

Also, their particular jobs were critical to the nation's economic well-being. It is quite possible that their slacking off had a significant negative impact on a great number of people. If porn did not exist, do you think they would've done the same thing with Farmville or some other Internet distraction?

My guess is that they would have lost their jobs regardless of the material they were watching/downloading. And it's an educated guess. My partner is dealing with a case of unfair dismissal in his law exams....

 

 

 

Also, do you believe that this sort of thing is not widespread? A lot of men really like their porn. Why wouldn't they be looking at work if they thought they could get away with it? At least one guy at my workplace got caught doing it, and they hardly pay attention here at all.

Well, I would report it as misuse of company property. I wonder how many other people are using the internet for other than company use, that actually isn't porn?

Where I worked, we had such a clampdown on Internet cruising, that it actually infringed on our work. The firewall was so inclusive, even legitimate sources of research were blocked. the resident engineers were constantly beset by staff members requesting clearance to many sites required for research. opening the access to these sites became an all-consuming, full-time job for them. Something of a nightmare, in fact.

 

I have a personal friend who told me he thought porn had significantly damaged his personality.

 

well, that's his problem for allowing it to become a sufficiently invasive recreation.

 

I've already mentioned to you in a previous post that I thought it had bad effects on me too.

Ditto.

"A bad workman always blames his tools." The weakness is in you, not the porn.

 

Maybe you remember Ted Bundy, the famous serial killer from the 80’s? People asked him why he did it and his answer was because he got into porn.

Oh that's a common excuse.

Almost as common as people having an affair, wailing, "We couldn't help it, it just happened!" It;'s called passing the buck, or abdication of personal responsibility.

 

Guys like that always look for something to blame I suppose, but it's still a little chilling.

Nope. What is chilling is that people perpetually and endlessly look to blame the object, when it's the subject that should be under scrutiny.

 

Crack on its own is just crack huh?

Yes, of course. Until someone picks it up and does something with it, it's just a lump of crystalised cocaine. do nothing with it, and it's harmless.

 

 

It is also extremely addictive to the point where I don't think there's anyone that can use it without getting addicted.

So? Just say 'no'. Then there is no question of addiction.

 

Do you think you could take a man in an otherwise completely healthy relationship, have him get addicted to crack, and not severely damage the relationship? Why is porn different, other than the fact that not as many people seem to get addicted to it?

Porn is no different. As I said, it's not the 'product'. it's the use and/or abuse that makes it a dangerous thing to handle. But it has to enjoy exposure first.

And if a person gets so out of control that the stuff becomes all important and bad for them - then it's the weakness in that person, not the porn.

 

I don't know, I guess if you really want to believe that porn is harmless, you will believe that. I just don't see how you can dismiss so much evidence that it has hurt some people.

Porn can only hurt you if you use it in such a way as to hurt you. it's not what it is, it's how much significance you give it.

[LadyinRed80]

If God did not wanted Men to use Porn he would of never made Lubricant.

[TaraMaiden]

Yeh, thanks for that.

[Sivok]

Porn is just as bed for men as Disney/Chick Flicks are for women:

 

http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l3nt45hPyn1qzpwi0o1_500.jpg

 

[Peitho]

I guess I don't think bonking an 80 year old man and having a sex ape is exactly furthering oneself even if you made money off of it. I don't think most men would even want their daughters to be Kendra.

 

There is a word for women who have sex for money.

It is called prostitution.

 

It is not admirable or respectable or considered ‘furthering oneself’.

 

I hope no one is trying to imply that Kendra should be a role model for us or our daughters.

 

No self respecting woman will have sex for money (in porn or in Playboy mansion)

No self respecting woman (or man) will consider a woman who does have sex for money ‘respectable’ – regardless of how much money she earns.

[Peitho]

Porn is just as bed for men as Disney/Chick Flicks are for women:

 

http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l3nt45hPyn1qzpwi0o1_500.jpg

 

 

You know what’s funny? This is true!

 

Which means both are bad !

[TaraMaiden]

There is a word for women who have sex for money.

It is called prostitution.

 

It is not admirable or respectable or considered ‘furthering oneself’.

 

I hope no one is trying to imply that Kendra should be a role model for us or our daughters.

 

No self respecting woman will have sex for money (in porn or in Playboy mansion)

No self respecting woman (or man) will consider a woman who does have sex for money ‘respectable’ – regardless of how much money she earns.

 

What BS.

I know two women who have sex for money. Their self-respect and self-esteem is through the roof. They enjoy what they do, and one of them has a daughter.

her daughter is studying to be a veterinary surgeon and is a level-headed, articulate and well-balanced person. She knows what her mother does.

 

You generalise.

Please know that your generalisation - as with all generalisations - is merely an assumption stemming from a seat of personal prejudice and revulsion.

I consider these people to be extremely respectable.

They pay their taxes, and earn a living.

They don't take drugs, scrounge off the state and everything they have, they own.

 

So - what's your definition of 'respectable'?

[Sivok]

You know what’s funny? This is true!

 

Which means both are bad !

I couldn't agree with you more! Disney/ChickFlicks/RomanceNovels are emotional porn for women.

 

Take away my porn when you take away your Nicholas Sparks movies and Nora Roberts books

[SteveC80]

I shot a few porn scenes to pay my way through grad school,i didnt plan it that way i joined a group that said male modeling and it was a front for a porn company.

 

I never saw myself doing it but i figured i need money desprately,some of the women there were in bad shape on drugs etc but none of em had a gun to their head to do it like myself

 

It did kinda ruin my sex life for awhile,i could only function in bed doing things on did on camera like choek women,stick their head in toilets spit in their mouths etc i got therapy and i have changed somewhat

[Peitho]

What BS.

Yep, always a great argument that one

 

I know two women who have sex for money. Their self-respect and self-esteem is through the roof. They enjoy what they do,

Even if this is true, how does that prove anything?

In previous posts you claimed (and even gave your own example) that anecdotal evidence is not reliable and cannot be used to make definite conclusions about the topic.

 

her daughter is studying to be a veterinary surgeon and is a level-headed, articulate and well-balanced person. She knows what her mother does.

And what does that prove? Her daughter obviously chose a respectable profession.

I never said that children of those who have sex for money are not respectable people.

 

You generalise.

I do generalise.

Just like everyone in this thread.

There may be one prostitute out there who would be worth my respect. Maybe. But this is not a rule. Far from it.

 

Please know that your generalisation - as with all generalisations - is merely an assumption stemming from a seat of personal prejudice and revulsion.

Oh really?

And you can claim that because what you say (and think) is an absolute truth?

 

 

I consider these people to be extremely respectable.

You know, that actually proves my point.

Pornification of the media is taking its tall - normal, intelligent people like you now think about prostitutes as ‘extremely respectable’ people

 

So - what's your definition of 'respectable'?

Respectable = deserving respect

You can use it in a sense of ‘getting respect’ because, let’s face it, even men who pay for sex don’t respect women who do it.

 

In the context of this thread:.

A woman who has sex for money cannot possibly find every man attractive and sexually desirable – some of them must be not attractive (to her) and some of them would be repulsive (to her).

A woman who has sex with a man whom she finds repulsive is not a healthy person with high self-respect and high self-esteem.

[TaraMaiden]

You know what?

Whatever...

Twice in the above post you've contradicted yourself.

I'll leave you to figure out where.