Is Porn Bad?

[TaraMaiden]

Fox, you're so funny......!

[Engadget]

I hope if you disagree with me you can come up with a better rebuttal than that.

 

After 500 of this silly topics, it's just laughable, it really is.

[Scottdmw]

After 500 of this silly topics, it's just laughable, it really is.

 

What's funny about executives at the Securities Exchange Commission watching porn when they're supposed to be stopping the Bernie Madeoffs of the world? Which old lady got her retirement fund wiped out so that somebody could beat off to porn while he was supposed to be working? Like I said, it seems like an awfully strong indication porn is potentially harmful. But, maybe you don't want to hear about how something you like to do could hurt you.

 

Scott

[TaraMaiden]

Are you a lifelong non-user, or a previous user evangelist?

(I've heard it said "none preach so hard as the converted".....)

 

And I'm just curious, that's all.....

[You'reasian]

Yes it is a male only club. Women never masturbate. When men masturbate it's because they are horny... Women can't get horny so why would they masturbate? Women view everything that has to do with sex or masturbation as disgusting.

 

I was expecting an "Ewwwwwww" for effect from your post lol

[You'reasian]

I've seen some bad porn.. so yeah it can be bad

 

LOL...

[Engadget]

What's funny about executives at the Securities Exchange Commission watching porn when they're supposed to be stopping the Bernie Madeoffs of the world? Which old lady got her retirement fund wiped out so that somebody could beat off to porn while he was supposed to be working? Like I said, it seems like an awfully strong indication porn is potentially harmful. But, maybe you don't want to hear about how something you like to do could hurt you.

 

Scott

 

It's your belief that it happens everywhere and is awful and harmful. You could replace porn in what you posted with goddamn Farmville and everything would be the same.

 

Furthermore, porn isn't going to hurt me. Sorry.

[amerikajin]

Porn is not bad. In fact, it's a lot like cheating. In many ways, it's the best thing ever to happen to a relationship, because it opens the channels of communication, and as we all well know, communication is paramount in a relationship. I had no idea my girlfriend was into she-males until we started watching porn together. :rolleyes: But now I know...and knowledge is fund-a-mental.

[Scottdmw]

It's your belief that it happens everywhere and is awful and harmful. You could replace porn in what you posted with goddamn Farmville and everything would be the same.

 

Furthermore, porn isn't going to hurt me. Sorry.

 

 

Show me a news story where 17 executives at the same place of business got busted for playing Farmville up to 8 hours/day.

 

You can't, because Farmville is not addictive like porn.

 

In the case I quote, there is absolutely no question or doubt that porn harmed those people at least--some of them lost their jobs, jobs paying up to $200k in salary. This is not some belief of mine, it's blindingly obvious. The fact that you can even try to say that it didn't hurt those people is the proof that you yourself are probably addicted.

 

And, it's not some belief of mine that it happens everywhere. Google “porn addiction”. You will find thousands of stories of men, first-hand accounts, that talk about how porn messed up their lives.

 

Maybe you're not like that, maybe you can get away with it. But, why deny the obvious harm it’s done to other people?

 

Scott

[Scottdmw]

Are you a lifelong non-user, or a previous user evangelist?

(I've heard it said "none preach so hard as the converted".....)

 

And I'm just curious, that's all.....

Doesn't it make sense that people who had bad experiences with something would be the ones warning others?

 

Yes, in the past I was into porn, at least somewhat. I didn't really like where I felt it was taking me-- basically into fantasies that were farther and farther away from anything like normal healthy sex in a love context. I felt like one of Pavlov’s dogs, basically teaching/conditioning myself into being turned on by things that are objectively not good. Anything you associate a strong pleasure with is going to have a strong impact on your mind and you will want to see more.

 

And, I didn't like the hold it had on my mind. Most healthy pleasures I can take or leave, I can either eat the ice cream or not, listen to the music or not, etc. With porn it started to be hard to stay away from. So it was certainly my experience that it was addictive. Did you know they've done brain imaging studies where porn use has a similar effect on the brain to heroin?

 

Add that to the evidence I've seen over time like the new story I quoted, and I find it really hard to keep silent when people say it's not even potentially harmful. It seems to me like they are willfully ignoring the evidence because they really want to do it.

 

Scott

[Itzonator]

So my GF is kinda agitated by my porn habits - which I watch frequently. She didn't say she didn't want me to do it, but you could tell she didn't like me doing it. But anyways, here's the deal

 

I watch porn because I get horny all the time. So, unless my GF happens to be right there by my side so that we can have sex, then I don't see why I can't look at porn. I mean we are both busy, so it's not like we have sex all the time.

 

Plus, watching porn relieves stress and allows me to concentrate on other things and not think about girls all the time. I get less grumpy and I become much more productive with whatever I have to do.

 

Maybe I have Tiger Wood's syndrome but I really don't see what the big deal is.

 

Do you girls get upset when your BF watches porn?

 

Well, there is good & bad side of the porn.

 

You may use the porn to release stress. But also you can release stress with some exercise, like with some sport. Which is better than porn & more effective.

 

 

Porn can create a bad habit, and you may prefer porn more than the real thing. Once you get into that bad habit, you are hosed, just can't help it - regardless of what your girlfriend thinks or do.

 

 

If you get horny all the time, try to establish some self-control. This urge can be suppressed, and often your sexual tension can boost your creativity in some other activities.

 

In another hand, if you release the sexual tension, then you mind gets clearer & you are less influenced by your internal drives - which is a form of a freedom for your unconscious urges for sex. You know, men in a deep level are always trying to achieve freedom & independence.

 

So, if porn is good or bad it is quite a debate, since porn for different people means different things.

 

When men are trying to stop watching porn, is like women to stop shopping. Or ever worse, stop reading romantic novels. Just can't help it.

Edited June 14, 2010 by Itzonator

[Itzonator]

Thats only a good thing for the woman. Women hate sex and think its disgusting so if the man prefers porn over her then she doesn't need to worry about having to have sex with him. Win win situation.

 

Women do not hate sex. If a woman does hate it, it is probably associated with bad experiences in the past. It is a form of assumed constraint.

 

Most women love sex. Why do you think women dress sexy? The core reason is to have sex or to find a partner. Perhaps many women here are going to say, BUT NOT NECESSARILY ... yea ... ask them how many hours they spend in the mirror to impress men & have sex with them.

 

Their words are not associated with their actions - most of the time.

[Jersey Shortie]

Same story different day. What most men defend, as this thread points out, is not their personal relationships with the real woman in their lives, but their porn habits. I know I am not the only one in this thread that finds something incredibly sad about that. It's like men rather make themselves a parady of themselves then engage in real life.

 

Anything to get access to that porn easier and problem free, even if it means lying to the one person that trusts you most not to break her trust. If you feel you need to lie about porn to get your way, then you are disrespecting your partner. Because by lying about porn you are feeding your own needs and denying her, her needs. You don't care about your woman's needs if you lie about your porn use or if you lie about any amount of actions that you can't do infront of her. Lying is what people do when they want their way and don't want to care about what the other person wants. If you feel like you need to defend porn over your real life's partner wants and needs, there are issues there.

 

 

It will always make me sad to think about the fact that the man I love whacks it to images of other women. There's no way I can help feeling that way. I think the best approach is to maintain a don't ask, don't tell policy.

 

And to protect myself and maintain a healthy degree of emotional distance, I will do some female equivalent (harmless, sexy chats with picture exchange, with long-distance fellas I have no intention of ever meeting, for instance -- porn does nothing for me, but this can be hot), and also maintain a don't ask, don't tell policy about that

.

 

Totally agree. What men fail to acknowledge is that women are sometimes turned on differently then men. Women are more verbal. If men can run to porn anytime they girlfriend isn't there on demand, then women should be able to engage in this type of action as well. Of course, men are okay with women responding to their sexuality in more classic masculine terms like viewing porn, but that's not how all women are. Some women need verbal interaction, and if your man isn't around, you should self satsify. At least, thats the message alot of men are saying. Because today's men do not want to and can't seem to practice self control. They are weak. And drones to their porn. As this thread as clearly show for the majority of men. It's so sad. Men think they are being strong by defending porn but it's really just sad.

[Eoweniel]

Porn is something that, aside from being very addictive, shouldn't be needed in a relationship where the woman gives the man what ever he wants, sexually (willingly ofcourse ).

Porn, for me, is only acceptable in the following situations:

 

If you're single, I don't care about what you do. Porn can be good for sexual relief, when you have nobody else to take it out on.

If your sex life is...dead. Given that the woman simply doesn't CARE for sex, ofcourse. And doesn't mind you watching porn. But if she has some sexual issues that she wants to work out, watching porn over helping her overcome those things, isn't going to help.

And last... if both parties agree to watch it together.

 

 

To all the men out there who claim that you lie aboit your porn habits because your GF will get upset; Guess what. Maybe if you were honest about it, she'd atleast learn to accept that you use it from time to time. I know that for me, the lie is much much worse than the action itself.

And it's seriously disheartening to see that someone cares much more about hiding something that should be trivial compared to the woman in the first place. If your woman > porn, then why the **** are you going out of your way to still keep up this habit of watching?

In other words, your reluctance to drop something that you claim to be so trivial compared to your partners, just shows that it isn't as trivial as you make it out to be.

If you like porn and feel you can't go by without it, then atleast tell the women before you get too deeply attached to them, so that the girl can choose if you're compatible or not.

Cause either she accepts your porn watching, or she doesn't. If she doesn't, she should be given a fair chance to find a guy who shares her views. And you don't lose anything either, because you get to find a girl who does accept or maybe even like porn as well. So it's a win win situation!

 

The bottom line is... jeez, just be honest about it.

Porn is something that should be discussed way beforehand, imo. It will prevent future relationship issues (I've had 2 relationships end because I just couldn't tolerate their porn... In other words, we were incompatible), and prevent heartbreaks.

 

For me, unless I really, truly find out that the guy doesn't care for porn at all, it will be a dealbreaker for me. He has me, I am just about as sexual as any guy is, and that should be enough. If it isn't, maybe he isn't worth my body and efforts anyway.

And I know there are guys who don't watch porn. They may be very few, but I know there are. And no, they're not religious cooks or moralists. They're decent, sexual men, who just happen to think that what their GFs give them is more than enough to quench their sexual thirsts.

 

Ugh, sorry for the long post. This is just a somewhat sensitive topic for me.

Edited June 14, 2010 by Eoweniel

[A O]

You can't, because Farmville is not addictive like porn.

To reword a familiar phrase - porn isn't addictive, only people are. Or to put it another way - heroin and p are addictive substances that everyone will fall prey to, but not everyone gets hung up on porn. Only those who lack self-control do. Only those who lack self-control. The term "addiction", now that's a very convenient term that those who lack self-control love to use to blame their own weakness over.

 

To all the men out there who claim that you lie aboit your porn habits because your GF will get upset; Guess what. Maybe if you were honest about it, she'd atleast learn to accept that you use it from time to time. I know that for me, the lie is much much worse than the action itself.

Guys - don't ever, never, ever lie. On the proviso that one's porn use does not negatively impact you and those around you, which is the case for the overwhelming majority of users, then there is absolutely no need to lie whatsoever. If she or whomever can't handle your porn use then that's their problem not yours. Healthy porn use is not your problem folks - its theirs!

 

 

.

[tincanman99]

IMO porn is bad stuff.

 

Not in the sense of morally wrong but I think it does mess up your libido and your perception of women. I dont have the links hand, but apparently when you take care of business by yourself dopamine is release which reinforces the habit of doing it. Eventually like all addictions it takes more and more of it to get the job done. You are essentially training your mind and body to do it. I have read that it takes 30-60 days to de-program yourself from it.

 

In the past I never could understand why women were so threatened by it but I have come to get it. Not in the sense that its degrading but that you are comparing the real person even subconsciously. Its real sex vs what you see on the screen.

 

Personally I have noticed that when I abstain from it, my drive is a lot stronger. The PUA guys think that it causes you to go out and take risks forcing you to deal with real women. As we know, there is no substitute for flesh and blood.

 

Try stopping for 2 weeks and see how you fee. You become irritable because you are used to getting that dopamine fix.

 

Give it a shot, you have nothing to lose.

[A O]

Not in the sense of morally wrong but I think it does mess up your libido and your perception of women.

One's view of women, and people in general, are shaped during childhood. Porn will not influence this perception. But if one's upbringing is dysfunctional, i.e. a lack of positive parental control/love/influence/caring, which in turn has lead to poor perceptions of people in general, then porn will simply be another outlet for this dysfunction to manifest itself.

 

Eventually like all addictions it takes more and more of it to get the job done.

Now, if this were true - if porn really was addictive, and thus lead to full-on addiction, then in the US alone, one would expect to see around 25-30 million men (and that's a very conservative figure) whom have allowed their porn use to destroy themselves or their relationships. Now, I'll go ultra conservative and say that half of these men weren't in a relationship when they fell prey to this so-called addiction, so that'll still be around 12-15 million men, thus relationships, that have been harmed, if not outright destroyed due to porn. And if this were even remotely true, then the amount of media coverage, political debate/action and statistics available would be as wide-spread and as easily available as any debate over drugs/crime/violence and other anti-social behaviors.

 

As things stand though, porn coverage is largely limited to a few posters dotted around a myriad of messageboards over the internet. Now, that says a lot.

 

In the past I never could understand why women were so threatened by it but I have come to get it.

Its only some women. If it were women in general, then porn would have been dead in the water eons ago.

 

Try stopping for 2 weeks and see how you fee. You become irritable because you are used to getting that dopamine fix. Give it a shot, you have nothing to lose.

Your average joe/jo should become horny, not irritable. If you're irritated, go see a doctor.

 

 

.

[harmfulsweetz]

Masturbation is a one-way exchange of sexual data between yourself and your genitals. Chatting up other people on line is a two-way thing between yourself and your genitals and some other actual person and their genitals, and quite different.

 

Masturbation is not cheating. Chatting up other people sexually is.

 

The two can't be compared.

 

I can understand why men would advocate keeping porn/masturbation a secret - look what happens when they try to be open about it. Men tend to get unnecessarily punished for doing something that is private and natural, so they hide it, for the same reason they hid it from their parents when they were pre-teens and teenagers. Being open is just asking for trouble where none ought to be.

 

 

Best post I've read so far. Thumbs up!

[Engadget]

Show me a news story where 17 executives at the same place of business got busted for playing Farmville up to 8 hours/day.

 

You can't, because Farmville is not addictive like porn.

 

In the case I quote, there is absolutely no question or doubt that porn harmed those people at least--some of them lost their jobs, jobs paying up to $200k in salary. This is not some belief of mine, it's blindingly obvious. The fact that you can even try to say that it didn't hurt those people is the proof that you yourself are probably addicted.

 

And, it's not some belief of mine that it happens everywhere. Google “porn addiction”. You will find thousands of stories of men, first-hand accounts, that talk about how porn messed up their lives.

 

Maybe you're not like that, maybe you can get away with it. But, why deny the obvious harm it’s done to other people?

 

Scott

 

:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:

[harmfulsweetz]

Anything can be compared. And this is your subjective opinion, not fact. I personally see no real difference between the two. I wouldn't care more if my guy were exchanging pics and cybering than I would if he were masturbating to porn. The means are slightly different, but the ends are exactly the same.

 

Not really. Porn there is no interaction, if you are cybering, you are interacting with a real person, and there's a chance you could take it further. Porn stars are often just bodies, images across screen, whereas cybering has been known to end many relationships because it's a betrayal of trust, and is cheating.

 

Put it this way-even if I didn't like porn, I do, I would sooner my man watched that than interacted with a woman over the internet.

[Ruby Slippers]

Porn stars are often just bodies, images across screen, whereas cybering has been known to end many relationships because it's a betrayal of trust, and is cheating.

And plenty of men's porn addictions, and ensuing sexual disinterest and neglect of their partners, have never precipitated the demise of relationships.

[harmfulsweetz]

And plenty of men's porn addictions, and ensuing sexual disinterest and neglect of their partners, have never precipitated the demise of relationships.

 

 

True. But an addiction to porn can be cured, stopped but what about the betrayal of actually seeking out a person to cyber with on the internet? I just think I'd be more scarred by that, than my partner being addicted to porn.

[Engadget]

And plenty of men's porn addictions, and ensuing sexual disinterest and neglect of their partners, have never precipitated the demise of relationships.

 

Porn "addiction" isn't an addiction. It's behavioral, like shopping, more compulsive than addiction.

[Ruby Slippers]

Porn "addiction" isn't an addiction. It's behavioral, like shopping, more compulsive than addiction.

I know a woman whose relationship almost ended because of her shopping addiction/compulsion. Her husband would only stay with her if she relinquished all her credit cards to him and saw a therapist, which she did.

 

Porn helps break down the health of many relationships, too. But a lot of guys would rather blame the woman for being insecure or controlling than admit that porn has an unhealthy influence in their relationships or dating lives.

 

They have all their justifications, the most prominent one being "all men do it". She had the same justification: "All my friends blow tons of money at the mall -- why can't I?"

 

The drive to shop gluttonously for crap you don't need can be just as consuming as the drive to consume porn gluttonously. Both of these compulsions are problematic.

[harmfulsweetz]

I know a woman whose relationship almost ended because of her shopping addiction/compulsion. Her husband would only stay with her if she relinquished all her credit cards to him and saw a therapist, which she did.

 

Porn helps break down the health of many relationships, too. But a lot of guys would rather blame the woman for being insecure or controlling than admit that porn has an unhealthy influence in their relationships or dating lives.

 

They have all their justifications, the most prominent one being "all men do it". She had the same justification: "All my friends blow tons of money at the mall -- why can't I?"

 

The drive to shop gluttonously for crap you don't need can be just as consuming as the drive to consume porn gluttonously. Both of these compulsions are problematic.

 

 

True. I do believe porn becomes bad when it replaces sex with your partner, and actually hurts them. If it's moderate use, i.e. once, twice a week when she's tired, or that time of the month or whatever, then I think it's healthy. I wouldn't be best pleased if my man rejected me only to whack it off to porn the same night.

 

Most men do do it, though. And I'd sooner they were open about it, than have to hide something that is natural and healthy for fear of being punished. I'm honestly not bothered by it, but each to their own, I suppose.