he physically pushed me i broke up with him now im going to take him back but.......

[Rai]

Im 21 my ex is 23. I got with him in sept '05 and have had our good times and bad times. Just over a year ago we wer drunk arguing over something so silly I cant even remember what it was I kept the argument going when I should of just left it and eventually he pushed me and i landed on the floor smacking off the bed on the way ended up with a big bruise on my arm. Anyway it all ended and i went to sleep bla bla. The next day I got in the car with my dad and he noticed the bruise (which i hadnt at the time) and asked me what happened I never lie so told the truth and he freaked out told me if I ever went back that was it between me and my parents. So never going against them thats what I did (not because I wanted to but because they did) He never ever pushed, hit, touched be in any abusive way before he never really even said hurtful things to me even tho we have had worse arguments than this one.

 

Hes not perfect but to me he is. Anyways I broke up with him for about 9 r 10 months (never lost contact with him) I still loved him and im sure he still loved me as we still spoke alot stil by text and phone and he sent me a goodnight msg every night with out fail he never lost interest r stopped begging me back.. I tried to move on but still couldnt get him outta my head maybe because i never really cut all ties to him i dunno, In march I started seeing him again behind my parents back and 3 weeks ago we immigrated from Ireland to Canada it broke my heart leaving him. I thought being here would help me get over him. But I know I definately want to be with him im 100% willing to take the chance on him he is prepared to move here or els i will go back there. Maybe i am a fool, I know this but no matter what i know i want him.

 

I just dont know how to tell my parents they are the best in the world and i usually never ever go behind ther backs, but the thing is he either comes here or I go back there one r the other. How do I get my parents to give him another chance or how do I just not get them to turn against me. I love them both so much and dont want them to hurt. If someone could advise me on the best way of putting this to them or tell me what you think is my besty option (i know alot of you wil think im stupid and say never take him back that i should walk away, but i know i am defintely want to take him back, but dont think i could ever bare the thought of loosin my parents). Sorry this is so long i tried to make it as simple as possible... Rai xxx

[Rai]

I know this is very long but please read this

[CleverName]

These things are always more complicated than can be said in a post. Did your parents like your guy before the incident?

When you told your father about the bruise, how did you put it? Any parent would be furious to know that a man hurt thier daughter. It is pretty much assured that violence in relationships esclates over time. Sometimes parents really do know best, even if you are 21.

Also, how honest are you being with YOURSELF? Was this really an isolated incident or have there been other things that are throwing down big red flags?

You are young and in a new country. Home and the boyfriend are familiar and comfortable. What do you do in your new country? Do you go to school or work?

[Rai]

These things are always more complicated than can be said in a post. Did your parents like your guy before the incident?

When you told your father about the bruise, how did you put it? Any parent would be furious to know that a man hurt thier daughter. It is pretty much assured that violence in relationships esclates over time. Sometimes parents really do know best, even if you are 21.

Also, how honest are you being with YOURSELF? Was this really an isolated incident or have there been other things that are throwing down big red flags?

You are young and in a new country. Home and the boyfriend are familiar and comfortable. What do you do in your new country? Do you go to school or work?

 

 

They wer never really a lover of him no, as hes not educated wasnt brought up very well.. my parents think ya should ONLY be with some one who has a job, been through school, has a decent family background etc. I told him he pused me and i fell on the floor banging my arm off the bed. I know alot of cases once will always lead to more but im certain it wont happen again. I know my parents have never really ben wrong before. Nope ther are no other red flags, we do argue but dosent everyone?? even if i was back in Ireland i would still feel this way about him, Im starting work here.. thanks for replying.,

[samsungxoxo]

I would hate to bring bad news but your parents might be right. If he's not educated, has poor family background or doesn't even have a job then why are you with him?

I know you're going to say it's love and how much you want to spend your life with him but what benefits will you be obtaining by being in the relationship? How is he a productive man if he doesn't even work?

 

If he hits or pushed you once that's enough to scare any parent. Had it been my father, he would have come after the man who hits me.

 

Lastly, being drunk only lowers your inhibitions and makes you do things you wouldn't do when sober. Perhaps your ex was predisposed towards troubling temperament and it came into surface when he drank too much. So I don't know, I wouldn't go back to him.

 

No education or job, no decent family, no nothing, gets drunk and assaults you..... he is a loser...

[vivrantflo]

What is it about a guy, that's capable of physically hurting you, doesn't have a job at the age of 23, and isn't educated, makes you want to be with him?? What qualities in him stick out, showing you that this is the kind of guy you want to share a life with, get older with, and possibly have children?

 

Listen to your parents please.. they are looking out for your best interests.. and I agree with them 110%