bananaboat11 Posted June 10, 2010 Posted June 10, 2010 I'm just curious... being my last 2 girlfriends were excessive baggage girls (I know EVERYONE has some baggage, but these 2 were OUT THERE!!!!)... I must be doing something wrong b/c both failed. One @ 5 months (she burned me)... One wanted it and wanted to work **** out till I made her realize it wasn't a healthy relationship that lead to a mutual breakup that is apparently a friendship now after a month... except I'm killing the friendship tomorrow. Oh yeah, we broke up TODAY. LOL so yeah... help?
carhill Posted June 10, 2010 Posted June 10, 2010 I have no laundry list but I can say that when a relationship, whether it be platonic or romantic, *feels* positive and life-enhancing for myself, it's healthy. If other, other. Everyone has their own triggers and, post-D, mine is proactive mutual care, concern and comfort/empathy. If I don't see/sense that, either with myself or in general, bye-bye
Feelin Frisky Posted June 10, 2010 Posted June 10, 2010 When you can give each other the benfit of the doubt instead of the obsessive neurotic opposite, that's a good thing. If I see mistrust and suspician, it's over.
aerogurl87 Posted June 10, 2010 Posted June 10, 2010 To me a healthy relationship is one where both partners respect one another, communicate efficiently, and are attentive to each other's needs.
Pyro Posted June 10, 2010 Posted June 10, 2010 what aerogurl said and one big thing for me is when the arguments occur that both sides can resist from name calling or any sort of verbal degrading. I guess that falls under communication.
aerogurl87 Posted June 10, 2010 Posted June 10, 2010 what aerogurl said and one big thing for me is when the arguments occur that both sides can resist from name calling or any sort of verbal degrading. I guess that falls under communication. Agreed. That was one of the big things with my ex that I hated. When things were great they were GREAT, but when we disagreed things always escalated quickly. He'd call me every name under the sun till his anger ran it's course. Not healthy at all, in fact I called him about it many times. So when I looked for a new boyfriend, I made sure one of the things on my list was someone who knows how to fight fair when it came to disagreements. So name calling for me was, and is, a definite deal breaker now.
Pyro Posted June 10, 2010 Posted June 10, 2010 Agreed. That was one of the big things with my ex that I hated. When things were great they were GREAT, but when we disagreed things always escalated quickly. He'd call me every name under the sun till his anger ran it's course. Not healthy at all, in fact I called him about it many times. So when I looked for a new boyfriend, I made sure one of the things on my list was someone who knows how to fight fair when it came to disagreements. So name calling for me was, and is, a definite deal breaker now. same here. I've been there and I hated it. It brought the worst out of me when I was there.
Leia Posted June 10, 2010 Posted June 10, 2010 Agreed. That was one of the big things with my ex that I hated. When things were great they were GREAT, but when we disagreed things always escalated quickly. He'd call me every name under the sun till his anger ran it's course. Not healthy at all, in fact I called him about it many times. So when I looked for a new boyfriend, I made sure one of the things on my list was someone who knows how to fight fair when it came to disagreements. So name calling for me was, and is, a definite deal breaker now. Your and my ex sound like they from the same family All I can say is that when you can communicate without wanting to kill one another and things are always discussed in a mature manner then it's a healthy relationship.
harmfulsweetz Posted June 10, 2010 Posted June 10, 2010 Agreed about the name calling, for me that is verbal abuse. My ex used to in every fight call me some name or other or several, and I used to think it was normal. Now, I think it's unhealthy. A healthy relationship for me requires trust, communication and respect. Lose one of those three, and you have an unhealthy relationship. For me, the major thing is respect, once I lose respect for someone or they lose respect for me, the relationship is dead. You can work on the other two, but you cannot force yourself to respect someone or force them to respect you.
SadandConfusedWA Posted June 10, 2010 Posted June 10, 2010 A healthy relationship is one where the happiness your partner brings to your life by far outweighs the bad moments. Every relationship has its bad times but all my unhealthy relationships had one thing in common: I cried a lot more than I was happy.
Mr White Posted June 10, 2010 Posted June 10, 2010 All of the above. It's pretty hard to give a universal answer, since even a good relationship has ups and downs. For that matter, my relationship meets all of the criteria above, but NOT all of the time. I think the biggest potential issue that tingles my spidey sense is that I don't really feel that my gf would be would lift mountains to help if something bad happened to me, and fortunately (unfortunately?) there haven't been actual situations where this could be tested, so I'll have to find some indirect measures.
RedRussian Posted June 10, 2010 Posted June 10, 2010 A healthy relationship is when your girlfriend gives you pleasure at least 4 times a week and tells you she is in love with you at least 2 times a week. She should also have big breasts and small ass.
stace79 Posted June 10, 2010 Posted June 10, 2010 A healthy relationship is when two people bring out the best in each other and can tolerate each other's faults. A healthy relationship means putting the needs of both of you, as a couple, first ahead of your individual wants. Every day you should wake up with a goal of making your partner happy in some way or another.
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