My Girlfriend is saying "she isnt ready for a relationship", ?

[david1992]

Please help, ive been with my girlfriend for 2 months now and everything is going great or so i thought. One day she texts me saying that she doesn't think she is ready for a relationship and that we should think things through. I want to keep the relationship going but how should i approach this? or should i call it a day and break up? She says she likes me an awful lot and i love her too, what should i do? whats the best way to try keep it going? Help.

[LucreziaBorgia]

This isn't going to be what you want to hear, but when someone says that to you it is over. Done. Particularly when they can't even say it to your face and are cold enough to do it via TEXT MESSAGE.

 

You are listening too hard to the parts of what she is saying to take the sting out of breaking up with you and reading some sort of 'maybe I still have a chance' into it. Don't feel bad - I would wager everyone on here who has been in a relationship has done the same.

 

What to do? Accept that she is breaking up with you, refuse any offers of 'friendship' (being friends with someone you want more from is unfair to you both) and cut off all contact so that you can start the healing process.

[reservoirdog1]

I don't know if you can get her back or not. But the best option, and the one that's most likely to preserve your self esteem even if it doesn't get her back, is to be cool about it. Don't beg or plead, don't cry, don't try to convince her that she's wrong (because that will NOT work, guaranteed).

 

Texting is kind of cowardly on her part. But it is what it is, and it's set the standard by which you can respond, i.e. with a return text. Try something like "I'm sorry to hear that. I felt like we had a connection [not sure about this part]. But I respect your decision and I truly wish you all the best."

 

Then, stop initiating communication with her. If she contacts you, act like you're doing great (even if you feel like your heart's been ripped out). If she wants to keep seeing you (as a friend, or because she is having second thoughts about ending it), make her work for it -- you're a busy guy with a lot going on. People are more likely to want what they can't have.

 

And if she doesn't contact you, you've ended things with your dignity intact.

[carhill]

OP, if you're under 25 (especially), you have received a gift, one of life experience. Considering the communication channel for this gift, I'd say you've received two gifts. Knowledge and understanding. Knowledge that she isn't feeling it anymore and understanding that she didn't 'like' you enough to say it to your face. That's great stuff. It tells us good information about other people.

 

I hope you meet many more young ladies and have a great dating life. Get started today