marilyn80 Posted June 10, 2010 Posted June 10, 2010 Does anyone experience good days where you feel really strong without your xOM or xMM and then the next day you feel weak and sad? I know I haven't been NC long but I have to hope that soon the good days will outnumber the bad ones?
califnan Posted June 10, 2010 Posted June 10, 2010 I've got bugs on my teeth because I can't wipe the smile off of my face. I am no longer the putty for his marriage/life .. and I have gotten back to my old strong complete-woman...fulfilled self..
jthorne Posted June 10, 2010 Posted June 10, 2010 Of course it gets better, honey! I was with a guy a long time, now I'm like "who??" It gets better. I rarely think of him, and if I do, it's in generalities from responding to a post here.
StoptheDrama Posted June 10, 2010 Posted June 10, 2010 Does anyone experience good days where you feel really strong without your xOM or xMM and then the next day you feel weak and sad? I know I haven't been NC long but I have to hope that soon the good days will outnumber the bad ones? M80 (love that by the way! used to have a blast setting them off when I was a kid ) You're going to have good days and bad days - it's par for the course. The beginning of NC is by far the hardest so expect to ride an emotional rollercoaster for a while. It's normal but one day soon you will begin to notice that you feel better more than you feel sad and weak. There's definitely something to that saying 'Time heals all wounds'. I've been NC (really LC because we work together but it's professional communication only) for the better part of a year and I really struggled for the first three months or so but it began to get easier. And it will for you too. Whenever you feel weak, post here. Just vent. It's all good; we've probably all done it. I know I have :D:D:D It's much better to vent here than break NC and risk throwing away the progress you've made because, trust me, it may not feel like it but every day you make progress. ((hugs))
Author marilyn80 Posted June 10, 2010 Author Posted June 10, 2010 Thank you everyone. I also wanted to apologize for some of my posts. I went back and read them, and I sound really irrational and not very nice sometimes. This has just been a really, really hard last couple of weeks.
Silly_Girl Posted June 10, 2010 Posted June 10, 2010 Oh hun, I do understand. I posted on here last night feeling all strong and having a great perspective, an hour later my son got out of bed to get a drink and found me sobbing my heart out. All I wanted to do was email xMM to tell him I love him and how awful life is without him (knowing that he will be feeling the same makes it harder). This urge I couldn't get out of my system that left me feeling empty and heartbroken. I didn't do it and today I am so happy about that. It will get easier. I can only go by day. I have urges to contact him and when I get up I promise myself today is NOT the day, but if I feel the same tomorrow I'll reconsider... But tomorrow comes and I vow that today is not the day... Long hot showers are a good distraction for me, I can't text or email anyone while I'm in there! Music, I have been listening to so much music just to permanently allow my brain something little to focus on. Exercise helps. A friend of mine has been drumming it in to me that it wasn't meant to be and something more is round the corner. I hated hearing this at first, but she's done a good job because I do feel that if xMM and I were meant to be, we'd be. But that's not happened and I hope that there's a reason for that, even if I'm not in the privileged position to be able to understand or see that reason right now. I am DESPERATE to see xMM, think of him when I wake, before I go to sleep and all sorts of times in between. But in a few months this will seem less than it does today and I plan to be able to look back and smile. Good luck Marilyn.
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