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Tired of the rollercoaster when will it end?


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Posted

So I have been thru the worst heartbreak of my entire life. I have had 8 months to take it all in and try to adjust but from the constant harrassment of emails from his new teen girlfriend I think that set me back along with living in the same town and hearing about them from a circle of people we both know.

But just when I think Im doin better and that I cant stand him, something triggers the pain and I am back to the empty pit of lonliness and saddness and start the not eating and isolating myself all over again.

The times I am happiest when I hear something possibly bad about the two of them, like I feel as if they would break up or fight or have bad luck it would make my life look amazing. I keep waiting and I never really hear anything negative and it sucks.

Does anybody ever feel like this about the ex that hurt them so badly?

I dont want this burden in my heart anymore but i cant get it to go away :(

Posted

Yes I have felt the same way as you,its been a year since my breakup, and he was with a new girl right away, before we even ended (i was overseas for 3 month).

I sometimes hear that there is lots of tension between him and her, and that makes me feel good for a minute, but then i really don't care about her any more so thats pointless, and i dont want to be with him, plus I have started to see someone new.. It just annoys me that he contacts me in spite of the fact that I don't want to be his friend because those emotions of anger just flare in me. It annoys me that we finally met up (him and i, minus her) for lunch not long ago and he cried and said it was such a blur, didnt understand, didnt deserve to be my friend etc - in other words, that he had treated me badly and was regretful of that. for what purpose? I have closure, i went through the train wreck phase and I think it's better to be the one NOT rebounding immediately...that way the worst pain is over for you, and your ex has to wait for the inevitable news when you find someone! Just look at the positive....

My ex's new girlfriend is the most annoying girl in the entire world - tirelessly talkative and fake friendly, not to mention morally righteous, and I get emails from her groups too - but in the end it just serves to remind me that I like who I am and of what I am glad i am not!

Posted

No, I don't really feel that way about him. By the time it was completely over, I was pretty exhausted by him. Never had a relationship like it before, and never want one like it, ever again. So the question of what he is going through, or not, isn't something I give a lot of thought to...but I of course focused on him for some time afterward.

 

He's in the past. Just grateful for the lessons I have learned. That's what I get to take with me.

 

As far as the pain? Honestly, I never truly started to heal until I really started to let myself cry. As much as I needed to, to really feel the loss.

 

It's not a linear process, and everyone is unique.

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