AlwaysConflicted Posted June 9, 2010 Posted June 9, 2010 I'm trying to win back my ex girlfriend. I would very much appreciate your advice. We dated for 4 months and broke up 1 month ago. We broke up because we got into many silly arguments towards the end. Most of it was my fault because I couldn't cope with the stress of losing my job, dealing with a health issue, getting audited by the IRS, and my apartment suffering major water damage. I'm usually good with stress, but everything happened at once and I couldn't handle it well. Frankly it made me a little moody. We both loved each other very much, but things just got a little too intense at the end. She felt it was too much to deal with for only 4 months of dating. There isn't another guy so don't factor that in. In our last communication which was through email she said she wanted a few weeks to sort things out in her head and maybe see a therapist. We're both 30 years old and looking for a serious relationship. Anyways, it's been 3 weeks without any contact whatsoever. Her birthday is in 9 days. I really miss her. I was thinking about calling her tomorrow, but not leaving a voicemail if she doesn't pick up. If she doesn't pick up or call me back, do you think it would be a good idea to send her flowers on her birthday? or a hand written card? or just another phone call? I'm not quite sure what the right move is and I'm wondering if any women might have insight? She's very sweet and a nice gesture would really make her feel good, regardless of whether she wants me back. It wasn't a hostile breakup. She said she wanted a few weeks to sort everything out...tomorrow is officially a few weeks. Will she be expecting me to call? She's traditional in her views and believes the man should act like a man. I would initially think to let her call me, but since she's so traditional I'm thinking it might be better for me to call her and pursue. I'm all for giving her more space, but I wonder if there is such a thing as too much. At some point, I'm guessing the woman says..."He didn't call, I'm moving on". What do you think?
Author AlwaysConflicted Posted June 10, 2010 Author Posted June 10, 2010 no suggestions? My heart is hurting.
westrock Posted June 10, 2010 Posted June 10, 2010 Anyways, it's been 3 weeks without any contact whatsoever. Her birthday is in 9 days. I really miss her. I was thinking about calling her tomorrow, but not leaving a voicemail if she doesn't pick up. You know her better than anyone here. Your gut is saying to call her, so call her. What's with this idea of not leaving a message if she doesn't pick up? Where would that leave you other than back here asking what should you do and her wondering why you called but didn't leave a message. When you call, you either talk to her if she picks up, or you leave a voicemail.
Author AlwaysConflicted Posted June 10, 2010 Author Posted June 10, 2010 Thank you for responding. I honestly appreciate feedback. Well, my gut says to call her, but every single person on this forum suggests No Contact forever. The idea behind not leaving a message is that it shows I'm interested but not desperate. I don't like playing games, but I just care about her so much I don't want to screw this up. And in these times, I never know what's appropriate. A voicemail, an email, a text? There are so many forms of communication and pitfalls to avoid. An email can be less threatening, but you can't hear tone of voice so it can come off wrong. A voicemail can be to overpowering. A 4 word text that never gets returned is even worse.
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