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I'm the one who asked for the break initially (she wanted to work through it). Day 2

bananaboat11

By bananaboat11
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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bananaboat11 Established Member

bananaboat11

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Her and me are on a week break... she wanted to work through issues, but I refused to settle for her petty bullsh*t... now I don't know what to do.

 

I am really antsy and eager to know if we'll stay together or break up. We're not going to speak until Friday... and last girl I was with, when broke the 'break' period, she was pushed further away. This one, I've been good so far, but I am hoping I do hear from her and it's killing me. Today she's hanging out with her ex boyfriend and that's annoying me!

 

I can't do anything... say anything. Supposedly we're on an exclusive break... so I WANT to trust her.

 

Her and me are going to talk friday and see we're we are at....

 

A lot of people I know said if she was going to break it off she would've done it already ... but when I asked her if we're breaking up or going on a break.. she asked if a break was ok for now?

 

I kind of want to just sever ties and kill this. I feel like it's being stretched out and it's hurting.

 

We have only been together a month.... and it should NOT feel like this.

 

I want to get my stuff back and end it with her 100%. (I'm picking my stuff up on Friday)

ADF Established Member

ADF

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There are no such things as "breaks" in relationships. So-called "breaks" are just slow-motion break ups.

northstar1 Established Member

northstar1

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I have to agree. breaks are normally taken by the person who is working towards a breakup and need the distance to finalize their decision

 

i once had an ex ask if we should take a break when were near the end and i politely declined and forced the breakup on the spot. not point in delaying the inevitable. get it over with, same some face and move on.

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bananaboat11 Established Member

bananaboat11

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My therapist told me it could go either way... that a break doesn't necessarily mean breakup. Personally... I want to just end it today. My friends are all telling me to wait until Friday.

 

This is so ****ing annoying.

 

She is clearly ****ed up.

 

I initiated the break. Then I asked her which it is... she asked if a break was ok. I said yes. I should've said no. FML. I should've just ended it like I wanted to. I hate this back and forth mixed emotions bull****. this sucks.

 

We're on a break.

 

May I call her / text her today asking if we can speak... and then grab my stuff from her and END it once and for all????

 

thanks

Els Established Member

Els

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A break doesn't necessarily mean a breakup but...

 

Gosh, I don't know about you but the first few months are generally when people are all delirious and infatuated with their partner, they think their partner's perfect, etc. If there's this much trouble by the first month barring exceptional circumstances, perhaps a clean break really is best.

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bananaboat11 Established Member

bananaboat11

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A break doesn't necessarily mean a breakup but...

 

Gosh, I don't know about you but the first few months are generally when people are all delirious and infatuated with their partner, they think their partner's perfect, etc. If there's this much trouble by the first month barring exceptional circumstances, perhaps a clean break really is best.

 

 

I've already initiated it.... we'll see.

EricaH329 Established Member

EricaH329

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Today she's hanging out with her ex boyfriend and that's annoying me!

 

Isn't this the reason why you wanted to break up with her to begin with?? And it's still continuing, even while you are on a 'break'? Come on Rob... I know you know better than this...

 

but when I asked her if we're breaking up or going on a break.. she asked if a break was ok for now?

 

Breaking up with someone does not mean asking the other person if they'd like to break up, or go on a break. It means telling them that you don't want to be in the relationship anymore.

 

This will continue to go on like it has until you put a stop to it. There shouldn't be this much confusion. It's only a month in, and you're already dealing with problems that would break up a couple that's been together for years. She obviously doesn't care about what your boundaries are, so it's time to walk away for good.

 

But, knowing you... you'll drag this out much longer than it needs to be, and you'll be in much more pain when all of this is finally over.

 

I hope you make the right decision, Rob. I really do.

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bananaboat11 Established Member

bananaboat11

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I am single again. it's done.

Els Established Member

Els

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I'm glad for you. :) Better now than later.

EricaH329 Established Member

EricaH329

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I'm glad for you. :) Better now than later.

 

Agreed!! :D

USMCHokie Established Member

USMCHokie

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I am single again. it's done.

 

 

Thank goodness...

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bananaboat11 Established Member

bananaboat11

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Yeah.... great

EricaH329 Established Member

EricaH329

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Yeah.... great

 

I really hope that next time you don't jump into a relationship after knowing a girl for only 2 weeks. Also, if a girl breaks up with a guy to be with you, or if she had recently gotten out of a relationship, take it slow.

 

But you already know this, hopefully next time will be different.

 

You'll be ok Rob. You did the right thing.

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bananaboat11 Established Member

bananaboat11

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Yeah.. It doesn't feel very good right now. I'm broken down and going under...

EricaH329 Established Member

EricaH329

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Yeah.. It doesn't feel very good right now. I'm broken down and going under...

 

You'll be fine. Do a little bit of grieving, and you'll be back to normal in to time. As long as you don't wallow.

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bananaboat11 Established Member

bananaboat11

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You'll be fine. Do a little bit of grieving, and you'll be back to normal in to time. As long as you don't wallow.

 

YEAh.... I think I need to be alone.

EricaH329 Established Member

EricaH329

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YEAh.... I think I need to be alone.

 

I AGREE!!!!! Time to be by yourself, Rob. And for longer than just a week or two ;)

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bananaboat11 Established Member

bananaboat11

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I AGREE!!!!! Time to be by yourself, Rob. And for longer than just a week or two ;)

 

It's been 7 months since nicole...

EricaH329 Established Member

EricaH329

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It's been 7 months since nicole...

 

Nicole was your last serious relationship. You've been out dating ever since then. I think there might have been a two week period since i've known you where you haven't been seeing a girl.

 

You need time to fix yourself. By yourself. Not dating anyone, not seeing anyone, not talking about being in a relationship with someone... just by yourself.

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bananaboat11 Established Member

bananaboat11

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Nicole was your last serious relationship. You've been out dating ever since then. I think there might have been a two week period since i've known you where you haven't been seeing a girl.

 

You need time to fix yourself. By yourself. Not dating anyone, not seeing anyone, not talking about being in a relationship with someone... just by yourself.

 

We shall see.

GrayClouds Established Member

GrayClouds

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Your are using relationships to avoid yourself.

 

The quality of the relationship we have with another is only equal to the quality of the relationship we have with ourselves. If you really do not like being alone with yourself, you are only going to attract people who agree with you.

 

Find a new therapist, one who encourages you to focus on you.

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