bolase Posted June 9, 2010 Posted June 9, 2010 I started a thread not long ago asking for advice about my friend/housemate/workmate with who things had gotten really strained...she kicked up a fuss over the fact I'm dating a guy she rejectd years ago and became a mutual friend, which hurt me a lot. Last night we had a huge talk about our strained feelings, and she spent a lot of time blaming me for one thing I said that hurt her (non malicious, but I forgot someone in her extended fam had died which is pretty ****ty I know). She on the other hand said she though I hadnt considered her feelings at all with the new guy, even though I had (AND didn't have to). We have clearly drifted and I said I will pretty much definitely move out. What hurt a lot was her continually telling me why I was hard to live with (some things that I can improve, but theyre minor) whereas when I suggested she open up and tell me when shes pissed off instead of storm around in bad moods and affect me, she was wild and said that was her and had to understand that she couldn't change. I just feel that you cant get over anything unless you talk about it, and Id rather her talk about things with me than vent to our mutual friends. It frustrates me somewhat that she is content to stay in the house and 'get annoyed every so often' at me being me, that was her feeling as well as that 'she runs the house anyway' as she's home more often. Part of me wants to spite this and just stay, btu theres no way I can healthily do that. I am taking the initiative to do something about it, with nothing to lose by leaving the place I am in now. I think I've found a new place already! But am illogically scared of losing our mutual friends (silly i know) but she is frankly the louder and more bitchy friend whereas Im quiet and contemplative, but much more emotionally open. So to some degree she has an upper hand), and it looks like I'm losing my cool by moving out. It's massively relieving, but only cause I am making it so. I need a break from her, and I'll try to make more friends who have less to do with her and concentrate on life without her, but it makes it very very hard.
whichwayisup Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 Maybe some time apart and not living together, the friendship can be renewed after hurt feelings disappear abit. She sounds high maitenance, and is quite hard on you, has put expectations on you.
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