ironfist Posted June 8, 2010 Posted June 8, 2010 Hi everyone this is my first time on anything like this and maybe i shouldnt be posting as i guess i will get loads of flack but here goes........... I have been with my husand 18 years 8 married etc we have to kids age 4 and 12, i can never remember being madly in love with him but i was 21 when we met and neva had a serious relationship and just went with the flow like u did back then, it was expected of u to stay together and get on with stuff, also i was a bit of a lonely soul, felt like i needed someone as my parents use to beat me and i feel like i needed someone to look after me i guess.......... anyway our life has been ok we have had holidays bought a house, we struggle but dont go without............he is a good guy, helps around the house doesnt go out boozing but he has always left me to do all the finances, i basically run the house, he has never had any money of his own put aside for rainy days (his doing) he never had his own life going out doing things so i basically did the same, as he would make me feel guilty going out when he didnt etc, i have felt trapped these past few years, he gets jealous and is obbsessed with me, we are similar ages 38/39 but i look a lot younger and i feel he thinks thats a threat as men look etc, i have never cheated on him in 18 years always stayed at home and looked after the kids, cleaned, cooked meals, educated kids etc, been a good housewife and mum. He has never taken me out or suprised me in all those 18 years, although he has always said he loves me but finds it hard to show. me on the other hand has alway found it hard to tell him i love him??? i never seem to go and hug or kiss him like he does to me. I feel like he doesnt want me to go out or work as i will meet people and i feel he doesnt want me to change and start to have a life outside of this house. he worked nights for a long long time and i use to put the kids to bed and sit alone all night bored, a friend suggested face book and my life began, i use to stay up chatting to old mates having a laugh and he hated it, esp if they were men......anyway i started chatting to my daughters friends dad, we havent really been friends but we know each other etc, we hit it off straight away, chatting about music tv, our familys etc.......he was content in his family and i was in a sense with mine, anyway as u will all guess the chats got deeper and deeper and we decided to meet for a kiss, can i just say this is so not me to do this, im a shy kind of woman and i cant believe it was so easy for me to do..........to cut a long story short we started an affair and realised we both wasnt as happy as we thought with our marriages, i even tried to help salvage his......as we both agreed many of times to end it as it wasnt fair..........but we didnt want to, eventually after months and months we fell in love, we have been secretly meeting about once a week for chats and we are great together he is so not like my husabnd and im nothing like his wife..................another thing to mention is he said it would be better if we got together as family so we could see more of each other, this was the biggest mistake, but we were both new at this and didnt really know what we was letting ourselfs in for........... anyway we all became friends his wife was awful but i stayed friends so i could see him, bad isnt it? feel so ashamed but i loved him.......i needed him........anyway as time went on, i decided if we both wasnt gonna leave of marriages then we would have to stop this as we cant life our lifes like this as it was killing me.............anyway i left and after a few days he emailed and said he has left his wife, he was heartbroke as he had 3 kids, it took a hell of a lot to leave but he said i cant stay with her anymore and love u................anyway he has his own place now and his wife has moved on but she has suspected he left for me although i have denied it and he has...........his wife doesnt bother with me, because my family went out with him and his kids a few times and she thinks that wasnt right etc......anyway, this is taking forever, lol......... anyway i couldnt keep up the pretence anymore with my husband and i have left him after 18 years together, he is heartbroke and i feel so sorry for him for what i have done........he doesnt know about the other guy and he wont, we have decided to live as we have been doing meeting once a week and hopefully we can be together one day when both our ex's find someone else............i know we are cheaters but we are good people despite what u all may think, this just happened and once we did it there was no going back, i have never felt like about anyone, i think about him constantly and hes the same...............we text, email and have done now for 14 months....................hes my best friend................ the trouble is now we have to plan things and i hate we have to do this, we decided to become friends again and start taking kids out, then we get closer and closer in other peoples eyes and then one day tell them we are seeing each other...........my life has totally changed and i am now living to a plan and its hearbreaking but we feel we have to do it this way as not to upset the ex's, maybe leave it a year then say we had a kiss etc etc..... whats a mess hey, i hate the lies the deciet..............i have to carry this to my grave hey! it happened and i have to keep telling myself, i didnt love my husband otherwise i wouldnt of strayed so easily hey? also i told my husband i could stay with him forever for the sake of the kids but i will never love him like i should, he refused and left..............he thought everything was hunky dory, as i kept the house and everything together but i could never be myself with him, im young at heart and like messing around and i feel over the years he changed me and i maybe changed him into a pair of miserable sods always negative always moaning, he was no fun with the kids, he took me nowhere, i use to constantly talk to try and change our lifes but he would always go back to his mierable ways, his jealous ways etc......... i know u dont know me and by reading all i have put u may all think what a bitch, but u have to live in my shoes to actually understand, as everything cant be written down in words......... I am now a single mother looking after my 2 kids, trying to find a job,i have never been on my own before, i know i cant be with the other guy for a long time yet till the dust settles but its the price we both have to pay for what we have done to our spouses........ i even think if at the end of it all, me and the other guy dont work out, i still couldnt go back to my husband, the love has definatly gone, in all the time we have been apart 7 weeks so far not once has he fought for me, done anything to salvage our marriage, he has just walked away with his tail between his legs..........i feel he needed me more than he loved me....... so there u go boys and girls, im going to hell i know that much, but its my life for now and as long as my kids are ok and loved by use both, which they are, i talk a lot to them,i have always been the talker etc then i dont see why we all cant live happy lifes from here on....... i have to remember people break up all the time, why should we stay with someone if we dont love them and plod on just becasue the law says! i need to start living and smile again and most importantly be me again....... thanks for listening (im prepered for the slander) i think! xxx
hopesndreams Posted June 8, 2010 Posted June 8, 2010 You and your new fella are both chickensh*ts. Your H will be fine without you, in fact, he will thrive and one day he will have someone really, really love him. Happy thoughts, ok?
Gunny376 Posted June 9, 2010 Posted June 9, 2010 I'm don't going to make a whole lot of commentary remarks about the morality or immorality of the situation/affair. I will say this though? The person you are today, isn't the same person that you were eighteen years ago. Just as you won't be the same person eighteen years from now as you are today? To be honest about it? People most especially men shouldn't get married in theses days and times (2010) prior to the age of thirty, (for women the actual physical age could maybe be two or three years less, as women are generally about ten years more emotionally more mature than men) Logistically you've really screwed up. People with years upon years of experience and advanced degrees cannot find jobs in this economy. A co-worker's early thirty something year old son with a degree in computer engineering and with over ten years with IBM (he got laid off) has been forced to move back in with his parents and his wife and 1-1/2 year old GF. Its going to be really tough for you to find a job having been a SAHM for the last eighteen years. Finally? Why would want to get with someone who's a "cheater" ~ if he's willing to cheat on his wife with you? He'll be just as willing to cheat on you later down the road. If you believe this is "true ever-lasting, forever and ever love?" Then I want to try some of that stuff that your smoking. There's no such thing. There is such a thing as two people willing to work at becoming a couple, maintaining and doing the work to make each other ~ each other priority, to openly communicate with one another and express each other's wants and needs. I'm not saying that yours and the OM's marriages weren't doomed ~ they certainly were ~ its not a question of "if" but when they were destined to end? The OM is not the answers to the questions, nor the solutions to the problems in your life. The oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico is nothing compared to the mess the you and the OM have created. And if you think sneaking around until the divorces are final and the EX's have found someone more compatible to their personalities? You are very mistaken. I was forced by my boss (a retired Army National Guard Master Sergeant who had served in Vietnam) to go and seek help for my "drinking problem" I wasn't going into work drunk, just hung over for about the first two hours of my shift. It was either that or lose my job? Now, I tell you this I'm seeing a psychologist because the reason for my drinking was the cumulative effects of what I've lived through since basically 1975 when I first enlisted into the United States Marine Corps. It was and has been the cumulative serendipity's (One thing leads to another that leads to another that lead to yet another) effects of the last thirty years that have lead me to become and be the person that I am today. In April when I first went to see him? I had to take a pyschological test that cost $600 ~ that my insurance covered 4/5th of. It came back that I was depressed, had anxiety disorder, and PTSD, had hyper-attention disorder, and at some point had experience some a traumatic life threatening event (Jeez! Really after only twenty plus years in the freaking Marine Corps?) My point in telling you all of this? Your in "affair fog" You've got some "stinkin' thinkin'" going on. I'm not saying you should stay with the DH, but the OM isn't the answer either. And you should be up front with the DH because the deceit and lies are going to hurt him way more than the actual truth. If you proceed with the OM ~ well that's nothing but a train wreck waiting to happening. The answers lie within yourself not with the STBXH nor the OM. Your trying to seek and find external validation when you should be seeking internal validation of your own self worth. That is to say when you've been alone and on your own for awhile ~ don't need a man for anything other than companionship? That's when you get the thumbs up and are good to go! Tell the OM to go back to his wife, leave your DH the proper way, AND go out there on your own and find yourself. Who you are? What your about? What you want to do with your life? Who do want to be? Who do you want to become? What are you passions ~ and what are you passionate about? Discover yourself ~ and who and what you are? And that's much more than the sum of being a woman, a mother, a lover or a wife!
Gunny376 Posted June 9, 2010 Posted June 9, 2010 You and your new fella are both chickensh*ts. Your H will be fine without you, in fact, he will thrive and one day he will have someone really, really love him. Happy thoughts, ok? Be kind and polite to others. Its cost us nothing? But although we may know our own personal Hell ~ we know not the level of Hell of others. "Let he without sin? Cast the frist stone!" The Devil you know is better than the Devil you don't know!" Once you've danced with the Devil? You don't change him? He changes you!
trippi1432 Posted June 9, 2010 Posted June 9, 2010 hmm, I got about half way thru......I agree with the other posters here. Sorry, just stopped where the story started taking the down spiral hun. Good luck to you and yours.
You Go Girl Posted June 9, 2010 Posted June 9, 2010 Be kind and polite to others. Its cost us nothing? But although we may know our own personal Hell ~ we know not the level of Hell of others. "Let he without sin? Cast the frist stone!" The Devil you know is better than the Devil you don't know!" Once you've danced with the Devil? You don't change him? He changes you! You're right on, Gunny. Two people found some happiness, whether that happiness will survive, thrive, or tragically fall apart is yet to be known. Others will suffer for their choice. But what's done is done, and these two people now need to see if they can make it work, because tragedy atop of tragedy is not what I would want to see come out of any story. 18 years is a long time. There's a lot of history there, and to try to rewrite the next year, the last year, isn't going to be easy to keep the two stories separate, one a reality, the other the story they make up to spare other's feelings. OP-I think you will be found out long before you decide to disclose the truth. The truth has a way of being found, as if it wants to be. I can understand keeping this arrangement secretive for the time being, but another year of this isn't going to work. People will see you out and about, or something will happen that completely lets this cat out of the bag. Good luck, and I hope that you can find the strength to help each other love without being consumed by guilt, because guilt could come back to haunt this new love. So the two of you have to be truly supportive to each other; no funny business, no lies, no half-ass attempts at love. Eventually you are going to have to simply admit that this love affair was going on. Your to be ex husband, his to be ex wife, they aren't stupid and will put the pieces of the puzzle together. Do take good care of those kids, all of them. It is often the kids who suffer most. And be kind to your ex-spouses, even when they are not kind to you.
Windsurf66 Posted June 9, 2010 Posted June 9, 2010 another thing to mention is he said it would be better if we got together as family so we could see more of each other, this was the biggest mistake, but we were both new at this and didnt really know what we was letting ourselfs in for...........anyway we all became friends his wife was awful but i stayed friends so i could see him, bad isnt it? Windsurf: Quite an innovative but evil way to cheat and yet pretend that it is an innocent friendship i know we are cheaters but we are good people despite what u all may think Windsurf: How can you and yr OM be good people when u have hurt yr spouses so much and cheated them of a happy marriage? Your spouses could have married someone else who would really love them sincerely and build a true marriage with them. i have never felt like about anyone, i think about him constantly and hes the same...............we text, email and have done now for 14 months....................hes my best friend................ Windsurf: I believe you are in the romance stage of dating and hence feeling the excitement and euphoria. It will end, when life becomes monotonous after you have been with the OM for a few years. And can you and yr OM really trust each other when u both can betray your own spouses? im young at heart and like messing around and..... Windsurf: At least you have admitted it. You should not blame the divorce on yr husband for neglecting you, becos you also wanted to mess around. Maybe yr husband neglecting you was just an excuse for you to justify yr affair? I even think if at the end of it all, me and the other guy dont work out, i still couldnt go back to my husband, the love has definatly gone Windsurf: I personally think that a relationship that originated from lies, deceit, and built on the immense pain of others, will not last. There is retribution. And you should not treat yr husband as backup plan and go back to him if yr OM dumps you. in all the time we have been apart 7 weeks so far not once has he fought for me, done anything to salvage our marriage, he has just walked away with his tail between his legs Windsurf: What exactly do u expect yr husband to do? Continue to beg? Yr husband must have been very heart-broken, humiliated by yr actions and might be depressed. Is it fair that after u have hurt him this much and yet expect him to come begging for you to be humiliated further by you? If you still have some hope/love for yr marriage, then take the initiative to go back to yr husband, go for MC and work on the marriage. And finally, the next time round with yr current OM, break up/divorce FIRST, BEFORE starting a new relationship.
lkjh Posted June 9, 2010 Posted June 9, 2010 wow, it really is amazing how this site never fails to disgust me. what you did to your H and kids is horrible you split up t families so you can bang your child's friends father
Windsurf66 Posted June 9, 2010 Posted June 9, 2010 After reading posts on this site for some time, I guess i have gotten used to such disgusting behaviour from such selfish and self-righteous people who still think they are good people after all they had done. I have always known that some humans are like that; they will eventually betray when the disadvantages outweigh the advantages in their marriage. But the thing is, how do we detect such people early, so that we dun waste our time, money and life away. For this particular case it took 18 years to show her true colours. In other cases that I have read, it took 20+ or even 30+ years. But the outcome is the same when such selfish people are in the marriage, they will eventually bail out using whatever reasons they can justify.
habs53 Posted June 9, 2010 Posted June 9, 2010 Another woman leaving her husband. Must be the in thing to do nowadays. 80 percent of divorces are caused by the woman. This site proves that firmly.
MsV Posted June 9, 2010 Posted June 9, 2010 You and your new fella are both chickensh*ts. Your H will be fine without you, in fact, he will thrive and one day he will have someone really, really love him. Happy thoughts, ok? Wow...I just realized your 'job' on this forum is to go around judging the crap out of everyone. You must be perfect...or maybe you're Jesus. Then again, even Jesus forgives. No, I think I know the kind of person you are but I'm too nice to say it publicly. Then again, you already know deep down don't you?
MsV Posted June 9, 2010 Posted June 9, 2010 Another woman leaving her husband. Must be the in thing to do nowadays. 80 percent of divorces are caused by the woman. This site proves that firmly. You should be ashamed of yourself. Show me the statistics that say 80 percent of divorces are caused by women. Cause I'd love to throw some statistics about the majority of men who abuse and degrade women on a daily basis.
MsV Posted June 9, 2010 Posted June 9, 2010 I can't believe how this woman came here for support and got a majority of insulting replies. What all of you righteous people are forgetting is that, wrong or right, she wasn't happy to begin with. I don't believe in cheating but I am smart enough to know that there are those who just like to 'cheat' and never intend on leaving their marriage and those that genuinely aren't happy. I myself have never cheated, but I am not going to judge anyone's situation because I haven't lived in their shoes. Maybe some of you should do the same.
sotagoon Posted June 9, 2010 Posted June 9, 2010 (edited) in all the time we have been apart 7 weeks so far not once has he fought for me, done anything to salvage our marriage, he has just walked away with his tail between his legs Windsurf: What exactly do u expect yr husband to do? Continue to beg? Yr husband must have been very heart-broken, humiliated by yr actions and might be depressed. Is it fair that after u have hurt him this much and yet expect him to come begging for you to be humiliated further by you? If you still have some hope/love for yr marriage, then take the initiative to go back to yr husband, go for MC and work on the marriage. Here....Coming from the guy who fought and fought to save the relationship...twice having her return to me...and then after being the "ROCK" while she went through the hardest part of her life (10 months of Cancer treatment - Chemo/Surgery/Radiation)....she decided to leave me again...for what....someone that was more exciting...that she didn't have to "CARE" about or appreciate in a respectful sense. I've never kept score..nor will I ever...That's how to have true love for someone..and in return, recieve the best love back. FIGHT for you????...are F'ing kidding me.....There is NOTHING that is more DIS-RESPECTFUL to a spouse than cheating. Putting on a front and leading someone to believe that you love them, when you don't. Did you ever think that while you were consumed by your new and exciting thoughts about this other peice of garbage....your husband actually thought that things were ok?....because that's what happens...your normal negativity toward him (and be honest with yourself...leading up to this you were nagging and complaining) went away. In his mind, he probably thought that you started to be accepting an understanding.....WHEN IN FACT...you were just cutting off his sack without him knowing it. UNREAL....You obviusly have nothing but selfishness in you. And guess what.....I guarnatee you are trading down....don't worry...that'll shake out soon enough...and by then your soon to be ex-husband will have made a better life with a much better woman and won't have the guilt you will carry for the rest of your days. ENJOY! Edited June 9, 2010 by sotagoon
Windsurf66 Posted June 9, 2010 Posted June 9, 2010 Read yr story MsV, but yr situation is diff from this poster. You did not cheat, and you had been trying yr best to work things out with yr husband. Good for you What all of you righteous people are forgetting is that, wrong or right, she wasn't happy to begin with. Windsurf: Happy or unhappy, it is not right to build one's happiness at the expense of other people's pain, esp when the other people is someone that they took vows with. Such happiness will not last. And i say again, there is retribution. She just have to be patient
MsV Posted June 9, 2010 Posted June 9, 2010 Read yr story MsV, but yr situation is diff from this poster. You did not cheat, and you had been trying yr best to work things out with yr husband. Good for you What all of you righteous people are forgetting is that, wrong or right, she wasn't happy to begin with. Windsurf: Happy or unhappy, it is not right to build one's happiness at the expense of other people's pain, esp when the other people is someone that they took vows with. Such happiness will not last. And i say again, there is retribution. She just have to be patient No, I didn't cheat. I don't believe in cheating. However, I try not to judge others because I don't know their situation. I do know it takes 2 people to make a marriage work. I do know that there are 'cheaters' who cheat for the fun of it and those who have had weak moments. I'm not making excuses, I just don't believe every situation is black and white. None of us really know a marriage if we haven't personally lived in it ourselves.
MsV Posted June 9, 2010 Posted June 9, 2010 Here....Coming from the guy who fought and fought to save the relationship...twice having her return to me...and then after being the "ROCK" while she went through the hardest part of her life (10 months of Cancer treatment - Chemo/Surgery/Radiation)....she decided to leave me again...for what....someone that was more exciting...that she didn't have to "CARE" about or appreciate in a respectful sense. I've never kept score..nor will I ever...That's how to have true love for someone..and in return, recieve the best love back. FIGHT for you????...are F'ing kidding me.....There is NOTHING that is more DIS-RESPECTFUL to a spouse than cheating. Putting on a front and leading someone to believe that you love them, when you don't. Did you ever think that while you were consumed by your new and exciting thoughts about this other peice of garbage....your husband actually thought that things were ok?....because that's what happens...your normal negativity toward him (and be honest with yourself...leading up to this you were nagging and complaining) went away. In his mind, he probably thought that you started to be accepting an understanding.....WHEN IN FACT...you were just cutting off his sack without him knowing it. UNREAL....You obviusly have nothing but selfishness in you. And guess what.....I guarnatee you are trading down....don't worry...that'll shake out soon enough...and by then your soon to be ex-husband will have made a better life with a much better woman and won't have the guilt you will carry for the rest of your days. ENJOY! It sounds like your situation is completely different than the poster's situation here. What happened to you is sad, but at least you can sleep at night that you did the best you can.
Windsurf66 Posted June 9, 2010 Posted June 9, 2010 No, I didn't cheat. I don't believe in cheating. However, I try not to judge others because I don't know their situation. I do know it takes 2 people to make a marriage work. I do know that there are 'cheaters' who cheat for the fun of it and those who have had weak moments. I'm not making excuses, I just don't believe every situation is black and white. None of us really know a marriage if we haven't personally lived in it ourselves. I understand, nobody likes to be judged, esp when they have done something like this. Her judgement day comes later and we will not be the ones deciding as judges But you cant really expect us to give her the thumbs up, and encourage her to go further with her deceit and give her moral (immoral?) support.
sotagoon Posted June 9, 2010 Posted June 9, 2010 It sounds like your situation is completely different than the poster's situation here. What happened to you is sad, but at least you can sleep at night that you did the best you can. My situation aside....I wasn't comparing....only stating how "fighting for" isn't what's going to make the relationship work....NOW.."working together"...that's what is going to make the relationship work. Oh...and the idea of chasing (apparently what was implied by the fighting for her comment) usually tends to drive the person away more.....AM I WRONG? Sounds as though it's a "cake and eat it too" scenario. "I WANT, I WANT, I WANT"...what about what he wants/needs?....shouldn't that matter. I don't care how many of these I read....it seems to me that it more often that not, boils down to the fact that EXPECTATIONS are what gets in the way. "You" let me down....therefore I need/want to get it from someone else. As far as I know....mind reading is impossible...so unless you have a scrolling bilboard on your forehead.....stating all these things "THEY SHOULD KNOW".....how do they know unless it's communicated...respectfully?! I'm interested in why the OP wants the man she can't stand to be with.....to fight for her or chase her?......Sounds like she is the one with issues. Again..I don't know everything here.....but the stated facts sure point to cake eating!
lkjh Posted June 9, 2010 Posted June 9, 2010 MSV, why should we support someone who is destroying two families so she can get off? why should we support someone who is so willing to treat her husband of 18 years in such a disgusting way? get off your high horse, in real life people get judged by others. We aren't condemning her to hell, we are just calling it like it is What do you want to say..............good job, hope your new love works out, and "oh your H probably deserved this
You Go Girl Posted June 9, 2010 Posted June 9, 2010 Another woman leaving her husband. Must be the in thing to do nowadays. 80 percent of divorces are caused by the woman. This site proves that firmly. The statistic is that 2/3 of divorces are filed by women in the U.S. Who CAUSED the divorce is another matter entirely. To pull a percent out of your personal frustration is not an objective thing to do. This 80% are caused by women is simply unfounded. This site actually proves nothing. More men come to this particular forum that have been left by their wives, than the reverse, this is true. Why that is, would need to be explored in depth. I feel that many factors may be at work here, such as that women tend to turn to real life friends and family to sort out their issues instead of forums, whereas more often men keep to themselves and don't share with their intimate friends and family the details of their divorce. That speaks of general communication style differences between men and women, and speaks nothing about who is hurt more in life by whom.
You Go Girl Posted June 9, 2010 Posted June 9, 2010 I'm interested in why the OP wants the man she can't stand to be with.....to fight for her or chase her?......Sounds like she is the one with issues. Actually, this line of hers does sound like trouble in her soul. She is obviously hurt by her marriage ending, even with the OM in her life. Therefore, there's a lot of built up resentment, anger, and frustration over those 18 years. That she is upset that her H isn't chasing her reveals one very important thing: that she still loves him to some degree. Now she is going to have to experience the pain of a divorce while at the same time struggling to maintain a secret relationship with the OM who is also hurting--and hurting quite a bit from what she posted. The two of them have to deal with the demise of their marriages, and yet not destroy their love for each other AT THE SAME TIME, and that is going to be very difficult. That she was unable to communicate fully enough to be understood and the differences worked out positively in the marriage is the issue here, because every relationship is tested, and her relationship with her new OM will be tested too. Communication is key. They have an upward battle ahead of them. And like i said earlier, I don't think tragedy atop tragedy is something I want to witness, not even somewhat detached from it on a forum where I don't know them in real life.
You Go Girl Posted June 9, 2010 Posted June 9, 2010 I understand, nobody likes to be judged, esp when they have done something like this. Her judgement day comes later and we will not be the ones deciding as judges But you cant really expect us to give her the thumbs up, and encourage her to go further with her deceit and give her moral (immoral?) support. What's done is done. She and her OM have both left their marriages. At this point, the only thing we can contribute is to help them succeed where their marriages have failed. I see no point in chastising them. Our only goal in contributing here should be to help people better their lives. The dynamics of why these two people's marriages went south enough to lead them to the affair is a tricky one that we can't see the details of, not being in those marriages ourselves. I'm not condoning their behavior. But what's left to salvage? What is left is the new relationship, and the children's mental health of both of these failed marriages.
RedDevil66 Posted June 9, 2010 Posted June 9, 2010 It's great that you feel alive again after 18 yrs and there is no harm in being/finding happiness, but it can be done w/out the cheating. Having said that, 21 is really young and in the last 20 yrs or so, young marriages never last. Like someone said above, it's not wise to get married before the age of 30. There is so much life to live and we grow so much as people. You're one step ahead of others though in that at least you left your H and didn't leave him hanging and kept him around while you conducted an affair The problem is, many of these relationships where spouses left for someone else, rarely, if ever work out. If you really want it to work, you may want to get some therapy, live alone for a while and just date him and see how it goes. Good luck
Recommended Posts