Cantcope Posted June 8, 2010 Posted June 8, 2010 In the time I've been on the boards, I've spent quite a bit of time trolling (reading) through past posts. I've gotten familiar with so many people's stories. What I'm wondering is....are there any of you still out there that just lurk around on the boards reading and what not? I'm so curious to see how things ended up. People from 1, 2, 3 years ago that thought they would never get through the heartache....never meet someone else.... Are you there? And anyone else for that matter. I want to hear that you are able to look back on that horrible time in your life and say "Holy crap! What was I thinking"?
northstar1 Posted June 8, 2010 Posted June 8, 2010 If you care to go back and read my posts from the summer of 2008, you will see I was a wreck after a breakup, same as most who are experiencing it now. Couldn't sleep, dreamnt of her nearly every night, thought I'd never date again, felt I'd lost the 'one'. Had no desire to do anything, but also cursed myself for doing nothing. Well, I can tell you it does get better and you do move on. Took me about 8 months to get over her fully.During that time I joined the gym and got fit, went on a trip with friends, got out more and when I was ready, began dating again. It is hard , while you are in the middle of the coping battle, to think you will ever feel better or get over your ex. But you will and you will one day look back with just a faint nostalgia, but not longer feel a stab of pain in your heart. I haven't talked to that ex in a long time, so I have no idea what she is up to, but i hope she is happy. Through NC and moving on with my life, I let go of the pain, bitterness etc. Life is too short to waste your life worrying about what someone who isn't in your life is doing.
USMCHokie Posted June 8, 2010 Posted June 8, 2010 Absolutely...it's been almost 11 months now since the breakup...and sometimes I'll browse back at my first few threads on LS back in Nov 09 and be surprised at how far along I've come...it does get better, and time is the ultimate healer... But I still miss her...
supersub Posted June 8, 2010 Posted June 8, 2010 I actually think that spending time on here is beneficial, but spending too much time can have a detrimental effect on your well being. I guess its like anything in life. However for the most part, I have received help and enlightenment in that I know I'm not the only one dealing with issues. But like I said if you spend too much time reading other peoples stories of heartbreak they can remind you of your own relationship problems and can make you feel down. Does that make sense guys?
Author Cantcope Posted June 8, 2010 Author Posted June 8, 2010 TOTAL sense! I feel good knowing I'm not alone, but sometmes I have to just shut it down and not look for a few days. If I read too much when I'm feeling really great, it brings me down. But I love you all so much for not leaving me out in the lurch to go through this sh*t alone!!! HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ilovecake Posted June 8, 2010 Posted June 8, 2010 What you're doing is "Lurking" not trolling. In Internet slang, a troll is someone who posts inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum, chat room, or blog, with the primary intent of provoking other users into a desired emotional response or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion.
Author Cantcope Posted June 8, 2010 Author Posted June 8, 2010 AHA! Thanks for the clarification. = ) Now answer the question!! lol
Trimmer Posted June 8, 2010 Posted June 8, 2010 What you're doing is "Lurking" not trolling. In Internet slang, a troll is someone who posts inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum, chat room, or blog, with the primary intent of provoking other users into a desired emotional response or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion. ... although since he induced you to disrupt the thread with an arguably off-topic post (questioning his terminology, instead of actually answering the relatively clear question in the OP itself) then might he not be seen as "trolling" after all?
Ilovecake Posted June 8, 2010 Posted June 8, 2010 Anywho, it's been over a year since my breakup. This place has helped a lot. I did however develop an interest in relationship psychology from reading all the information out there. I still come here and type advice. I'm not sure that it's always good advice but I figured people who went through it helped me out now that I have my head on a lot straighter and am over the emotional turmoil I can pay it forward whenever I feel I can relate to a topic. I guess it's kind of like when people who go through rehab and become counselors once sober. You feel like you hopefully have some insight to pass on to the newly heartbroken. Plus I still learn things reading other people’s stories.
Ilovecake Posted June 8, 2010 Posted June 8, 2010 ... although since he induced you to disrupt the thread with an arguably off-topic post (questioning his terminology, instead of actually answering the relatively clear question in the OP itself) then might he not be seen as "trolling" after all? Actually if you were to get nitpicky it was quite on topic since the author of the thread was asking in the title whether there were any "trolls" out there. You can not call what I posted trolling since it wasn't a disruptive or malicious act to get attention by throwing the conversation off topic. I think you might misunderstand what an internet troll is. Of course if I were to go with your definition I could just as easily accuse you of trolling since you are trying to provoke an emotional response with your question which is not on the intended topic of “lurking”. We can go in circles with this but I think most people who read my post did not take it as an act of trolling.
Trimmer Posted June 8, 2010 Posted June 8, 2010 (edited) Actually if you were to get nitpicky... Actually, I was dinking around with you - no hostile intent. It was self-referential humor (albeit maybe a bit obscure), since my post itself was intentionally off-topic, and yes, obviously a troll... You can not call what I posted trolling... No, I didn't call your post that at all... I said you were "induced to disrupt...", therefore the original post could be considered the troll. ( <--- all still joking here, folks... ) I think you might misunderstand what an internet troll is. No, I'm pretty clear on the concept - I was doing it myself. Of course if I were to go with your definition I could just as easily accuse you of trolling... Absolutely correct. I think most people who read my post did not take it as an act of trolling. Nor did I. I just gave in to the temptation to mess with you. I've been pretty good about resisting that impulse when it wells up, but... Anyway, my apologies. On topic (finally!)- My split started 5 years ago now, but I still hang around here for some reason (sometimes unfortunately; see above...) I would say the most intense period of my coping process was probably the first year or a year and a half, but I still had ups and downs even after that, and checking in here helped some with that. I haven't ever felt like it has been detrimental to my own well being, in terms of my coping/recovery, although that may be dependent on the particular person and their issues. I do believe some on here could benefit from some time away (I'm hoping that doesn't sound as arrogant as my trolling above makes me seem! ) But I have kind of naturally cycled in and out of active participation from time to time. I think I hang around when I need it, and stay away when I need to, and it just kinda happens naturally in waves... Edited June 8, 2010 by Trimmer
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