Morals Posted June 8, 2010 Posted June 8, 2010 I have a female friend whom I have known for awhile now. And while I feel like she may like me, (and I like her), we have never really addressed the issue face to face. The reason I ask is because I went over some events in my head recently which seem to be pointing to us maybe turning our friendship into a relationship. This past weekend she got angry at me for posting an innocuous comment on facebook. The comment stated that "Anyone want to go to <event>? It just opened today!" (Her facebook response: Ummm excuse me?) To shorten it, she got angry but then a few hours later got over it. Our exchange of texts: Me:I didn't think you would be up for it. You seemed tired and like you had other things going on today. Her:no thank u Me: I'm confused. Did you want to go? (Based on her original Facebook post) Me: Hey, I'm sorry if I was inconsiderate in assuming you were busy today. I would really like to go to <event> with you today. Her: I'm sorry i took it so personally. I'm over it now and your right....I just don't like to be left out of cool things, you're a good friend, sorry for being childish. With that "crisis" averted, I didn't think any more of it. But I realized she was jealous thinking about it last night. Then I started thinking about how she has invited herself to come along on two trips with me. One to the north-Atlantic region. The other across the seas to a European country. Both I mentioned something, and she stated she'd like to come with me. When I think about it, it really does seem like maybe she has some feelings towards me. But I would think after knowing her as friends this long that those feelings would have manifested themselves much more openly. Either that or she is supressing those feelings, I guess that's not too far of a stretch, seeing as how I'm doing the same thing.
RedRussian Posted June 8, 2010 Posted June 8, 2010 Grab her by the lady humps and give her a sloppy wet tongue kiss next time you see, look in to her teary eyes and say gently " I do ". Problem solved Next Thread!
LittleMissWonder Posted June 8, 2010 Posted June 8, 2010 RedRussian has a point. It is time to take action & find out once and for all!
Serenitynow Posted June 9, 2010 Posted June 9, 2010 Her response means nothing in the realm of if she wants to have a relationship. In my experience MOST women whine like that if they arent included in the social circle. You did say ANYONE, so I guess she was being a baby because she thinks she comes first before anyone else ? ANOTHER famous case where the girl might like the guy, but she will NEVER admit to it. She'd rather drop subtle , almost unnoticeable hints and then get mad at the guy for not reading her mind.
Author Morals Posted June 9, 2010 Author Posted June 9, 2010 Her response means nothing in the realm of if she wants to have a relationship. In my experience MOST women whine like that if they arent included in the social circle. You did say ANYONE, so I guess she was being a baby because she thinks she comes first before anyone else ? ANOTHER famous case where the girl might like the guy, but she will NEVER admit to it. She'd rather drop subtle , almost unnoticeable hints and then get mad at the guy for not reading her mind. Thank you for some insight into the situation. I should probably go into a little detail regarding that post I made. I had discussed doing this event with her many months back, and we kind of just kept blowing it off. I had been checking the local scene paper and noticed that a new event at this place had opened that day, it sparked my interest and I kind of wanted to get out and do something this past Saturday. I would have asked her to go explicitly, but the night before we had plans to go watch a show(the last two showings being that Friday and that Saturday and she had stated "I just got into bed, tired from work. I don't know if I am up for anything tommorow. Goodnight!" So when I posted the original comment on Facebook about Anyone wanting to go, I had assumed (based on the previous nights text) that she wasn't doing much of anything today (or had other plans) hence my ANYONE statement. Yes, it was childish of her. I forgive her for that. But the idea behind it means that she 1) Remembered that we had discussed doing it in the past, and 2) she was "angry" at me for not inviting her to go with. (Oh, little fun fact here: When I posted this on facebook...in less then one minute is when she responded ) Like you said, I think there is something there, but she might like me, but I think she's too proud to admit it. And the hints she drops, if they can even be called that, are so subtle that most people would blow it off as politeness.
kassy Posted June 9, 2010 Posted June 9, 2010 Well have you given her any idea that you like her? Just make a move... women don't get jealous over male friends unless they like them as more.
Author Morals Posted June 9, 2010 Author Posted June 9, 2010 Well have you given her any idea that you like her? Just make a move... women don't get jealous over male friends unless they like them as more. I think I have, I compliment her when I see her (not all the time) but when appropriate. We just have fun together. We do a variety of things together. I don't know...I open the door for her and touch her in the small of her back when we enter a resteraunt or something similar to that. I don't know...do I need to just lay it out there and tell her? Mind you we were friends back when she was in a relationship, so maybe the dynamic never entered her mind.
norajane Posted June 9, 2010 Posted June 9, 2010 Just give her a kiss goodnight, on the lips, next time you two go out. "Laying it out there" in a "talk" is always such a relationship killer. You've been polite, and gentlemanly with the holding doors open and stuff. Most guys do that, so that's not any kind of sign of interest. You either have to kick the flirting up a notch, or give her a kiss, go home, and then let her wonder about it and feel something. Talking about feelings at this stage just puts people on the spot and makes things awkward. You need to sweep her off her feet, and that's not done through "um, er, so, um, yeah, I've been thinking...um, maybe...well...I kinda like you and have for a long time," while you're heart is racing and you're sweating and your hands are sticky.
Author Morals Posted June 9, 2010 Author Posted June 9, 2010 Just give her a kiss goodnight, on the lips, next time you two go out. "Laying it out there" in a "talk" is always such a relationship killer. You've been polite, and gentlemanly with the holding doors open and stuff. Most guys do that, so that's not any kind of sign of interest. You either have to kick the flirting up a notch, or give her a kiss, go home, and then let her wonder about it and feel something. Talking about feelings at this stage just puts people on the spot and makes things awkward. You need to sweep her off her feet, and that's not done through "um, er, so, um, yeah, I've been thinking...um, maybe...well...I kinda like you and have for a long time," while you're heart is racing and you're sweating and your hands are sticky. I understand what your saying, but an unfounded kiss makes things awkward too. You can come back and keep a great friendship by talking about it, there's no coming back from a kiss. If she wants it great, but if she doesn't she's going to feel VERY uncomfortable... Again, I understand the idea behind SHOWING your feelings rather then telling them. But in certain dynamics, that's just not the smartest approach. And in this case, I'm unsure of how far I can go. If you want I can go into a few details about her personality, but I'm not sure if I can give you the clarity of the situation in 3rd person.
You Go Girl Posted June 9, 2010 Posted June 9, 2010 I understand what your saying, but an unfounded kiss makes things awkward too. You can come back and keep a great friendship by talking about it, there's no coming back from a kiss. If she wants it great, but if she doesn't she's going to feel VERY uncomfortable... Again, I understand the idea behind SHOWING your feelings rather then telling them. But in certain dynamics, that's just not the smartest approach. And in this case, I'm unsure of how far I can go. If you want I can go into a few details about her personality, but I'm not sure if I can give you the clarity of the situation in 3rd person. What if you looked her in the eyes and said--Sometimes I just want to kiss you! I think you'd know quickly what she thinks about that! And no harm done if she's not up to the challenge.
Author Morals Posted June 9, 2010 Author Posted June 9, 2010 as a girl, yes - the above Seriously??? NO matter the type of girl saying the above won't end bad? By bad I mean, her saying no AND me losing a friend. I don't really mind the NO part (albeit I'd be dissapointed) but the fear I have is of losing a friend. I mean it just seems extremely forward to test the waters with a statement like "Sometimes I just want to kiss you".
RedRussian Posted June 9, 2010 Posted June 9, 2010 fear I have is of losing a friend. See bro, that is where your problem is, you are full of FEAR! Never be afraid to lose a person, because your FEAR will be controlling your actions not your Manly Logical Brain of Power ( MLBoP ) Do what you must and if meant to be you will remain friends and if not than big woop, your a Man life goes on, you deal with it and become stronger. You will feel like a mountain was lifted from you when you say ""Sometimes I just want to kiss you". Don't forget, when she pauses with response go for a major passion kiss right away to seal the deal.
kassy Posted June 9, 2010 Posted June 9, 2010 Or even better, I'm finding it really hard not to kiss you right now... the word sometimes might want to be avoided. If she doesn't want to it'll be obvious... but she's probably at her wits end trying to work out if you are just a super guy friend or interested... go for it. I think you are probably in with a grin!
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