crfsti Posted June 8, 2010 Posted June 8, 2010 I've come to notice friends of mine only seem to get in contact with me when they need a favor, never to just hangout/do something, and when I try to setup a time to hangout with them, they are always too busy. It's kind of starting to bug me now, feel like I'm being used. I mean, should I even call these people friends anymore and stop trying to get in touch with them? Anyone got any input? Thanks, Chris
skydiveaddict Posted June 8, 2010 Posted June 8, 2010 I have the same experience w/my friends. I think it's cause they are all married and i'm not. I dont let it bother me much.
Author crfsti Posted June 9, 2010 Author Posted June 9, 2010 Yeah, I'm in the same boat where I'm not married and all my friends are. It just sucks cause I don't have many friends to start with.....guess it's time to make some new one's.
ADF Posted June 9, 2010 Posted June 9, 2010 I have some advice. The next time one of them calls you for a favor, tel him or her "no." Then say you don't want to hear from them again unless they just want to socialize. After that, you might be willing to help them out again.
Author crfsti Posted June 9, 2010 Author Posted June 9, 2010 I have some advice. The next time one of them calls you for a favor, tel him or her "no." Then say you don't want to hear from them again unless they just want to socialize. After that, you might be willing to help them out again. Alright, next time I'll give that a try.
Gentlemen_shadow Posted June 10, 2010 Posted June 10, 2010 I know what you mean I ahve had this feeling most of my life and some times it is the person and they are like that and other times it is the situation that you are in making it seems like that. Case in point I helped a friend friend move 5 times from one place to another, ket him live with me when he was homeless, paid for him AND HIS FAMILY to eat when they could not afford it and then he decided to be friends no more jsut delete me off his facebook and what not I know I'm not easy to make friends so I can't really say just make more and not have time to worry about it. Try to find friends like you, ample free time and same hobbies as you. And look into how much free time the people you are hanging with have and maybe they hang with you when they can and don't when you ask cause work / spouse/ other plans
lovingone Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 Sounds like classic fair weather friendship to me. They are always there when they need you. I'd been burned badly by some fair weather friends which lead to a lack of confidence in making new friends as an adult. I thought it was my fault. That there was something undesirable about me. Unsocial, unpopular, lacking social skills, unlucky, whatever. Then that all changed this past year. Those of you in the US might remember the story this past October of Morgan Harrington, a woman who disapeared from the University of Virginia's arena when getting locked out of a rock concert and seperated from her friends. Eventually her remains were found and the case is still open. But what caught my attention was that according to the official report of the disapearance, when Morgan contacted her friends by cellphone none of them offered her any help other than to tell her to try using another entrance. According to her parents interviews, Morgan and her friends had been excited about the concert for months. When she got locked out for stepping outside for a minute, NONE of those friends went to talk security into letting her back in. No one offered to leave the concert to drive her back home or stay with her until the concert was over and everyone could be reunited. And there has not yet been another account to dispute that unfortunate account of what happened. Now she did tell her friends over the phone that she knew someone who could give her a ride home, but she was probably just letting her friends off the hook when the discomfort of their lack of concern was too much. And they got the answer that they wanted to get them off the hook. That was the first time I heard of fair weather friendship leading to someones death. Sure they were just college girls eager to go to a rock concert. But they dropped the ball when it counted none the less. Whether they thought there was danger in leaving Morgan stranded is beyond the point. But Morgan was a pretty and social girl. It made me realize that fair weather friends has nothing to do with social skills. There's a lot of them out there and all it takes, as in Morgan's case and mine, is just a perfect storm of bad events in a tug o war with your "friends" own interests. And I no longer feel ashamed. 1
Author crfsti Posted June 17, 2010 Author Posted June 17, 2010 ^^wow, very sad story! I hope those girls learned a big lesson from that.
Author crfsti Posted June 17, 2010 Author Posted June 17, 2010 I thought it was just me that this happened to Nope. From the looks of it, this kind of thing is pretty common . True friendship is quite hard to find....as with finding a soulmate.
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