unrequited love !

[melissa60]

There's a guy who I used to talk to a lot, for hours a day. It was never clear what it was-close friends or more-and it always seemed that we were walking a thin line. I really liked him though-he was my best friend at the time..maybe it was even love? I went to law school, he went to med school. Fell out of touch. Ran into him again at a mutual friend's engagement party last year. We started to talk just to catch up but ended up hitting it off...we were talking the rest of the night, ended up at a bar, and eventually his hand was on the small of my back...stroking my arm at a point..the whole deal. He seemed dissapointed when I said I had to leave but I really did have to go. So anyway I got a text from him 20 minutes after I had left the bar saying he had an amazing time and we should be in touch...my phone was delayed tho and I didnt get the text til a day later. So i didn't respond for a day and a half or so. I probably should have said, sorry I just got this- but for some reason I just said "i had fun with you too! hope to see you soon". Didn't get any text back. And ever since then hes been really distant! I've tried texting but he doesn't even seem to want to be friends anymore-weird. What the heck happened!

 

I sent him an email a few weeks later trying to do a bit of damage control just saying, hey I noticed that things have been different since that night. i just want to make sure everything is alright and he said that he was avoiding me because he was getting the impression that i liked him, he didnt mean to give me mixed signals and we are friends. i don't get that at all because there was nothing mixed about it-it was so obvious, and he initiated all of it! I think maybe it was a defense mechanism?

 

Anyway I got terrified of loosing the friendship so i wrote back that we were on the same page-i totally lied, which I now feel was dumb. To this day I still think about him.

 

We've kept in touch since then but mostly just here and there maybe once a month an email or talk online.

 

He's a resident and hes really busy; i asked him last week if he wanted to play tennis or take a walk sometime and he said he was really busy-had no time for anything- and the hospitals the core of his existance right now.

 

Is there anyway to fix this? Or is he really just not interested and theres no hope? I really want him back in my life!

Is this fixable or move on

[Feelin Frisky]

I'm affraid it's just one of those things that one couldn't know at the time how life-direction-changing it might be. I is probably a blown opportunity and you'll have to recover your resolve that your a good catch. I hate having those in my past--little insecurites that plagued me because I was a fat kid and never really felt the hunk that women saw me as (until I was over thirty and started really believing and dressing the part). How my ego might have been bolstered and my life more fulfilled if I took the signals I got from girls in my teens and took some risks (that I obviously didn't).

[MrNate]

There's a guy who I used to talk to a lot, for hours a day. It was never clear what it was-close friends or more-and it always seemed that we were walking a thin line. I really liked him though-he was my best friend at the time..maybe it was even love? I went to law school, he went to med school. Fell out of touch. Ran into him again at a mutual friend's engagement party last year. We started to talk just to catch up but ended up hitting it off...we were talking the rest of the night, ended up at a bar, and eventually his hand was on the small of my back...stroking my arm at a point..the whole deal. He seemed dissapointed when I said I had to leave but I really did have to go. So anyway I got a text from him 20 minutes after I had left the bar saying he had an amazing time and we should be in touch...my phone was delayed tho and I didnt get the text til a day later. So i didn't respond for a day and a half or so. I probably should have said, sorry I just got this- but for some reason I just said "i had fun with you too! hope to see you soon". Didn't get any text back. And ever since then hes been really distant! I've tried texting but he doesn't even seem to want to be friends anymore-weird. What the heck happened!

 

I sent him an email a few weeks later trying to do a bit of damage control just saying, hey I noticed that things have been different since that night. i just want to make sure everything is alright and he said that he was avoiding me because he was getting the impression that i liked him, he didnt mean to give me mixed signals and we are friends. i don't get that at all because there was nothing mixed about it-it was so obvious, and he initiated all of it! I think maybe it was a defense mechanism?

 

Anyway I got terrified of loosing the friendship so i wrote back that we were on the same page-i totally lied, which I now feel was dumb. To this day I still think about him.

 

We've kept in touch since then but mostly just here and there maybe once a month an email or talk online.

 

He's a resident and hes really busy; i asked him last week if he wanted to play tennis or take a walk sometime and he said he was really busy-had no time for anything- and the hospitals the core of his existance right now.

 

Is there anyway to fix this? Or is he really just not interested and theres no hope? I really want him back in my life!

Is this fixable or move on

 

Hold the phone. If it was so obvious, then why did he say he wasn't interested. After all, if he was interested, what kind of service would he do himself by saying that?

 

I wouldn't waste time/energy over it.