InkedRN Posted June 8, 2010 Posted June 8, 2010 Hello, I guess I'm here just hoping for some words of encouragement because im scared and confused right now I have been with my boyfriend for over 8 years now,since I was 16. I was young and didn't care about adult things then and so I didnt really notice things about him I would later really start to dislike. He is sweet and funny and gentle, but we have grown horribly apart despite now living together. I am in constant depression most the time and feel I am throwing away my best years to a man who wont grow up. HE has NEVER had a job since ive been with him,and yes,i am insane for putting up with it. When i was young I didnt care, but a few years (about 4) ago ive started telling him he needs to get out there and work to help support us both as partners. I guess part of me has let it slide because we didn't live together and i never paid for anything, his family i think gives him money,and he lived with them. I have moved out of state for a job,despite him not wanting me to (that was hard enough!) and I asked him before he decided to move in with me ARE YOU GOING TO GET A JOB? him:yes,i think it will be good for me in the long run even though i dont want to leave 4 months later here i am,he has no job,has only brought up work related things maybe 3 times and gets super-angry when i bitch at him about it. but i CANT control it anymore,ive become angry and resentful,this isnt me. sidenote:a year ago my home burned down. He promised me then he would get his life together and we would rebuild...never happened. That still hurts my heart as I type this.. I have low-self esteem,but im starting to realize im worth more then this and i want a family and a husband. (did i mention he never brings that stuff up either?) I have a great job as a nurse, and love to go out to dinner,go bowling,go to the zoo and just experience life! He wants to play xbox and hates going out (we used to). Im just afraid and i dont know how to get him out to be quite honest. Since hes broke,how is he going to move back home? Im also afraid he may start breaking things and causing a horrible scene when i try to break up with him, which makes me have panic attacks and im worried about my apartment (he would NEVER hurt me though FYI) I just...dont know what to do...im stupid for letting it go this long, and especially for letting him move here because now im stuck. I have anxiety and depression and this is the hardest thing ive ever thought about doing...just some words of wisdom would be nice.. -_-
fmlx1000 Posted June 8, 2010 Posted June 8, 2010 It sounds like you have your mind mostly made up. If he is not the right person for you and you want him out, then that is what you have to do. If your that afraid, maybe call a friend over after or maybe while he is out move his things into boxes and call him a cab or something. Call his parents and let them know your sending him back. My main point is that you have to start living your life the way you want it. You are never stuck. You can get out of this. If you have to spend a little more money, time, or energy to make it happen it might just be worth it. You can't let his immaturity and selfishness ruin your life. It's time for him to get out and move on and grow up. That shouldn't rest on your shoulders to have to carry this guy through life. You can do this, be strong and work it out. Your never stuck. You have a good attitude and when you are finally free, I think your life will feel much more weightless and free. Best of luck and I hope this helped a little.
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