karamall Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 We met whilst traveling in Australia and lived there for a while, then went to Asia together and now we are in London working. We've been 'together' since last November and already were close to breaking up from time to time, but could never actually do it. I am 8 years older then him and already have a degree, but am still searching for my profession as well. He has just got a place at uni. I have been very jealous of him, which probably led him to finally break it off with us. I am very much in love with him, even though we have our difficulties and he has been feeling the same way. But now its off for real and it's so hard to deal with for me. I went by his place last tuesday and was a bit drunk by then, because I went out with friends before, then he just called it off and I couldn't accept what was happening, so the night ended in lots of tears and me being unreasonable towards him. I wrote him an email, explaining the situation, that I was sorry, for passing by like that and getting angry, that he didn't respond to my messages. He agreed to meet next week, so we could talk over what happened. I went away for a couple of days and we have been in touch, but since I am back he has not replied to me text, mail and phone calls. It's been a week now, since we broke up. And I know I shouldn't have contacted him, but it was too hard for me to resist. I called him 5 times today and he has ignored all of my calls. He said, that he still had feelings for me and that he missed me, before he started not to answer back. Should I just give it some more time, or does that mean it's really over???
ADF Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 It is really over. And frankly, you ought to be glad. He knows how upset you are, and what does he do? He stonewalls you. He refuses to communicate. That is nothing but a gesture of contempt. A decent person wouldn't behave that way towards someone they cared about. Stop this. And don;t give me any of that, "I can't help it" nonsense. You're an adult woman. Act like an adult. You can do much better than this clown.
Author karamall Posted June 7, 2010 Author Posted June 7, 2010 i don't know, maybe i should have just given him his time, to think things over. I am sure he knows how I feel and he cares, but just needs some time apart. All my friends tell me, not to contact him, until he realizes what it all means?!
Author karamall Posted June 7, 2010 Author Posted June 7, 2010 i can't stop myself from thinking about him all the time. I feel like i am getting totally crazy, don't sleep, eat, cry, am constantly on his facebook....how can i make this easier for myself...?
D-Lish Posted June 8, 2010 Posted June 8, 2010 Stop contacting him, the worst thing you can do is go overboard on the calls, texts, etc. The best thing you can do for the both of you is take a break without contact. You need to give him a chance to collect his thoughts. The more you contact, the more you will drive him away. He can't figure anything out if you don't allow him space. It may very well be over, but if he has any regrets, he needs space to figure that out. Pressuring him will not work in your favour. Silence should be your best friend right now. If he's to discover that he misses you, he can only come to that conclusion when you're not there anymore. Stop viewing his FB, as that will only fuel your obsession.
AnitaGirl Posted June 8, 2010 Posted June 8, 2010 I agree. Sometimes you reach for something and only push it farther and farther away. Stop all contact, let the dust settle and see what happens. If he finds he misses you, he will be in contact. Stay strong and i know it is hard...This will work out.
S.Tee Posted June 8, 2010 Posted June 8, 2010 It had only been a week or so after the break-up, time will tell and I believe he is also searching for answers and receiving your call probably will make matter worse until he finds the answer. He might be afraid of saying words that not supposed to be said (emotional period now) or maybe he is just trying to make you feel bad until the right time comes. Remember the age gap sometimes need reconcilation, you both have different ways of thinking. He might still be immature compare to you and ego also plays main reason. You also mentioned you are jealous of him getting a place in uni, so he might also be hurt of your reactions lately. No matter what, time will tell. It is not official break-up yet, but till the day you feel he is gone for good...there is still hope. Be strong
AmeliaApple Posted June 8, 2010 Posted June 8, 2010 Don't let him contact you. Take back the control over your life that you have given him. His actions to you indicate your importance to him. If you were important to him, he would treat you with respect and dignity. It's hard, but you can do it. Move on. You're only making things worse and more painful for yourself. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=2830824#post2830824
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