rohitgupta Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 I dont know how to starT? ...Its like STORY OF MY LIFE ... It starts on 07 nov 2007 with a shooting star in the skies of Africa. It was my last day in Africa and I was sitting in asab – the hottest place on earth. Land was barren n it was a desert of stones. I had seen some life out there in the world. I was jus looking at sky and saw that shooting star. People say that whatever u wish it comes true. I wished as soon as I reach India I should meet the galof my dreams. My true love for whom I didn’t get tym in my lyf earlier as was busy in making my career. Thngs happnd. When I reached India, I met a gal. gorgeous she was. We exchanged numbersand soon ve started having long chat. But v never met cos the next day she left for Bangalore. Dats wat she told me. I kept talking 2 dat female n got emotionally attached thinking dat my wish had come true. After a few days I left for sikkim. It was middle of nov. By that tym she had sworn of her love to me n all n even I told her dat I m in luv wid her widout evn meetin 4 second tym After settling in sikkim I smhow got mobile signal one day n tried her numb. It was off. I became restless. I told a frn 2 mail her n ask her. She replied dat she had n accident n had her backbone severly damaged. I kept tryin her numb. Came on chutti . sent so many mails. No reply ever came. I knew it was a bluff but jus to have a satisfying answer I told myself dat she is dead. Then came march I was tryin to 4get her. I was at home as my hand was broken. I was surfing orkut n saw this gal ( My Current Girl friend ) I got attracted by her pro. When I read she was a crew I decided not to send frn request but I cudnt stop n sent it nyhow. It was no particular reason but jus dat crew doesn’t have a clean image. As luck wud have favoured she replied back in mar end/ apr 2008. Then v used to have small chats smtyms but nthin gr8 about it. She told me dat she is getting married by this year end. It didn’t effect me as I jus used to had small chats. May b she was also nt bothered about it. April ended n I went back to sikkim. Came back in july on leave . Chatted a few more tyms wid her. I actually started liking her. Dat tym v had a fairly good chats but not enough to ask her to thnk about a relation wid me. Nyhow sept 2008, I went for my course to indore. She had cm to India but v hardly spoke on phone but I called her up one day before she was going back. She was working in n airlines abroad. When she went back, then v started having regular chats. Every single day I was fallin more n more in luv wid her Though study was more important than nythng dat tym , I used to take out tym to talk to her.one day I proposed her. She laughed………. Hehehehehe. Its not possible she said….. Army is not her type as she wants to stay wid her hubby after marriage n it is nt possible with me. It was hart breaking but I cudnt afford to have a lower morale as it wud have affected my studies. I stopped devoting tym 2 her n made myself bust wid my studies as it was a career course. One fyn eve she said yes she wants to gv us a try. Now I was not ready. I wanted to b wid her but I wanted to do well in studies n being wid her cud have wasted my tym. I cudnt resist her. My no had burst her into tears.i didn’t knw how to handle it. I listened to my hart which was already in luv wid her n I said yes……….. Tough decision it was but I took it. I was happy. Very happy indeed. The image of crew was nt affecting me as I thot she is calling me from so far n dat too she is crying she trull feels for me. Trust level – 100 % Then we used to chat 4 n hour or two daily cos I had to study 2 n even she understanded dat. V evn used to had phone calls.. Initially she never used to say I LUV U but one eve she said it 4 the first tym. I was lyk the on the seventh heaven I never doubted her in ny way. I was in love . I had blind faith on my luck. Then in dec 2008 , I tried to get romantic wid her on phone a few tyms but she rejected it outrightly. This though hurt me but I felt may b it is not supposed to to done. Smwhere in my hart I had a doubt of y she reacts so bluntly when ever I try to b cosy….nywez I thot either she had some issues over it or jus dat she doesn’t like it. One day I jus told her about that gal whom I met in delhi. I jus told her yes I had a gal frn but now she is dead. Then I asked her a few questions about her lyf. I said nimzu if u had ny bf. She said yes 2/ 3 hanste hue n I said mazaak mat kar. She said haan the but who to aise hi the school/college mein jinke saath phone par miss u missu hota hai. But haan ek tha jiske saath she had n affair but he died I said okie. But isse zaida she said nthin was there between them TRUST LEVEL – INCREASED. I thot she is truth ful. I told her many tyms during our chats dat I don’t like liars n she used to say the same Then came jan 2009 n she was in India. I had my holidays. She said ve shud meet in Bombay if possible. Even though I don knw y I hesitated earlier but then I decided to meet her. We met n she was like a godess. I knew she is the one. When evr I took a deicision againt my parents I had losses but this tym I was sure m ryt n she is the one. I kissed her for the first tym but the moment I kissed her the first thing dat came to my mind was it is not her first kiss. Though I didn’t have the courage to ask her that tym but that thng satayed there in my mind( cos I had kissed a gal earlier . she was my frnz galfrn ) I went to goa had a good tym wid my frnz n she went back. January end I cudnt control it so finally I asked her whether she had kissed smone b4? Y U ASKIN THIS ? was her reply. I understood but still I was determined to ask it. She said yes …….. TRUST LEVEL – DECREASED. She didn’t tell me earlier……………………. I cudnt take it. Cos I m a very possessive person. I tried to ask her further but the way she replied n said that was it made me convinced that nthin happnd. It was February n she came to meet me in indore. I was damn thrilled. She arrived n I felt that m alive again. She was like angel. I skipped my eve classes n received her at airport. It was Friday. Sat early morning I went n came bak in the noon. Eve v had a memorable dance in the disk. At night it was the first tym I ve got intimated . V decided dat v wont do dat thng n we stuck to it. She went back n I was very happy cos it was like losing my virginity to my gal. Though we didn’t do it but I still it was like dat 4 me. She went back but that kiss thng still buggered me. N also she used to tell small small lies over meaning less thngs. Like I used to tell her dat when I chat to u for n hour pls devote 100 % to me. She had a very casual attitude. Alwez talking n chattin to others. I checked her mobile in indore. There were many guys names in it. She said all are frns.she had so many frns in orkut n I jus didn’t like it. I told her so many tyms but she never lietened. I started becoming restless n thot that she has not told me about her past correctly. TRUST LEVEL was decreasing. Finaly a day prior dat she had to come to delhi 4 goa I asked her whether she had sex b4 wid her dead bf hoping dat she will say NO. It was a shock for her but her attitude n non serious attitude towards me made me thnk all these thngs n finally I asked her. She said yesss. Ground slipped under my feet. I didn’t knw wat has happnd. Then she clarified. Dat guy jus tried n I didn’t let him enter me cos It was very painful. Somehow since v were meeting the next dat I thot I will clarify everything there. I was not in my complete enthusiasm which I used to feel when I saw her last tym. Still in goa I asked her. It was 30 mar 2009 , Monday. She reiterated the same thng. Finally I decided to test her truth. I decided to make me psychologically satisfy by making full love to her n calm the waves goin on in my hart. I made luv 2 her. She didn’t bleed.she convinced me saying dat m a virgin jus dat smtyms wid physical activities sm gals don’t bleed. I was convinced cos I wanted to/. Then I went back to sikkim.i came back in june. It wsa 18 jun eve. A day before her bday. Again I was furiated wid her non serious attitude towards our relation. Smone told me about her photos in facebook. I asked her wat was the need of putting such pics in social site, accepting everyones frn request cos there were so many guys in her pro. She insisted dat all were her frns. I said I don like it. Wat is the need to do all that. We had a terrible fight, I decided to finish everythn.we didn’t talk till smtym. That same thng was botherin me. I thot she has lied to me again. I again asked her about her past n the extent they had sex. This tym she said she lost her virginity to dat guy cos he had entered in side her n she bleeded. TRUST – shattered I cud never 4 give her. I decided not to keep ny relation wid her,. I was hurt n shattered , I didn’t knw whom to talk to whom 2 discuss all these thngs. That was the most important thng to her n more than her to me n she didn’t tell n kept lying. I hated her but more than dat I loved her. I tried to saty away from her. But I cudnt stay away. I again started chattin 2 her. B4 I went for commondos, in oct I promised her dat I will talk to my parents. I even told her I wont call her from there. I told her tha date when I will b back but b4 dat only she thot m not planning to talk 2 her, she sent me msgs saying I shud tell the reasons y I was nt attending her calls. I was having no tym 2 reply to her. Finally I came back hoping she will call me the day my course gets over. She never called. I decided not to call either. Her past started haunting me n I decided to 4get her. I deleted her pro n then she called me….. I was surprised. Nywez I didn’t talk to her cos she had betrayed me n lost my faith. Nyhow I didn’t spk to her till jan 24 2010. neither did she call. Finally my love 4 her overcome my irada nt to call her n I called her. Then even though it was not ryt to meet v still met in jaipur. I cudnt control my love for het n finally vdecided to marry. I came bak. March I ask her about a guy in her pro. She says jus a frn of a frn I cudnt believe. I was determined to knw who he was. Finally she came out wid truth dat he was a guy whom she had met When I was in commondos with perspective of marriage n no body had forced her to meet him but she thought m trying go away from her as i am not serious and just want to have a good time with her.. she took a decision of meeting this guy. I asked how many tymz she met again she lied. I said her not to lie. But she was not understanding dat to hide a lie to hav e to spk many more. She didn’t realise wat her lies had been doin to me since tge tym we met. She met a quite a few tyms returned her calls. after asking she replies she lies coz she gets scared of loosing me as i asked for explanation about everything and starts imagining. I again thot it was not worth keeping this relation. Again I stopped. But now m facing another prob. M not able to leave her n not able to stay away from her. M been haunted by visuals of her having s** wid that guy n who mere se bardasth nahihota. I try n try but I fail. I don’t knw under wat circumstances she did wat ever but y she kept me under false impressions. I feel she shudnt have waited for me to go ahead so much n trust her blindly n then tell me the truth dat was so important. It didn’t increased it rather broke my trust. M help less. I don knw wat to do. I know she loves me a lot and she will be a wonderful wife.. but i feel i wont be able to overcome her past. COS SHE IS MY FIRST N MAY LAST TRUE LOVE. WHAT SHOULD I DO M VERY CONFUSED ? SHALL I GO AHEAD WITH THIS RELATION????????
whatcanidonow2 Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 Sorry rohit, but this is so hard to read unless we too speak in text. Hope you get some more patient respondents who can read the whole thing. Looks more like a poem to me.
LuckyCharm Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 Yes...i also read half of this...please write correct English. it really does sound like a poem...
Doing it Since '78 Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 Man, aint no way anybody is reading all that gotdamn gibberish
Ann_Igma Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 I think that the communication/culture difficulties are going to cause most of us problems in giving you advice. I would love to just say that for the most part, what matters is what your girlfriend says and does WHILE she's your girlfriend and not before. But the problem is that my advice is given from a western point of view and may likely clash with what you have been taught and/or believe. I'm sorry that I can't really offer anything more helpful.
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