saying Goodbye & Moving On. (the letter she'll never get)

[Blue6]

C*******,

 

This letter serves one purpose. I have been meaning to write it when I was good and ready to do so, now's as good a time as any. I am letting you and my memory of you go...

 

7 months ago you stepped out of my life as vibrantly as you stepped in it. As much as I want to resent you for the pain, anger, sadness and all the other deafening numbness you put me through, I can't. Truth of the matter is I think about you from time to time and feel nothing but gladness that you were in my life. I still feel like I let you down in some way and for that I am deeply sorry. If I had my life more together perhaps we would still be together and I would be looking at your smiling face that warmed my heart like none other. You're truly one of a kind, an original. Your beauty is striking and your wit is second to none. You are a dreamer and a believer with intellect off the charts. What else could a guy want. I was cleaning up the desktop of my laptop and came across a folder that contained a years worth of memories we shared, I opened it. It was a cruel subconscious test to see how my gut/heart would react. I saw your face that I was determined to hide from and my heart skipped, then nothing. The only thought that came to mind was how I now know that we cannot be together because our lives are no longer on the same path, and I am afraid they never were. We were commuters on the same bus just waiting for our next transfer. This doesn't mean I loved you any less or wish by some chance encounter we could give it another go because somewhere deep in my gut, it feels like it's suppose to be you.

 

I am not afraid to admit that my life has been a sheer mess since you left and I miss you more then you'll ever know. I realize that I have been living in fear most of my life. Fear of the unknown, fear of failing and the fear of letting go. For some reason I think your were here as a cruel wakeup call that it's time to get living, living for myself. You and I are not perfect and I know our relationship had it's up's and downs along the way. But in the end, I accepted you and your perfect imperfections for exactly what they were, I just wish you could have accepted mine too. Our lives are compiled of a series of choices that we either make for ourselves or are made for us by some divine intervention along the way. In addition to those choices we discover a multitude of emotions, ups, downs and everything in between. But also lodged in there are the little things and moments in life that mean so much to us. These are the moments I will miss of you the most. Whether it's the waiting in line for a movie to start or brushing my teeth next to you, the one thing I will miss most of all is just being with you and having your back.

 

I don't know where you are right now or what your doing but I hope you and your family are happy and well. Timing is never what you want it to be and I can strangely say that you got the worst version of me. Or to be less critical, a work in progress. I forgive you for the horrible things you said to me that night, breakups are as they say, awkward. I suppose there isn't much else for me to say at this point. I don't know if our paths will ever cross again either by phone or in person but I can't worry about that now. It's time for me to say goodbye to the past and welcome the present with open arms. I now truly understand the phrase "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."

 

May the road rise to meet you...

 

Love Always,

 

***

[Meaplus3]

Looks like this is a great way for you to make peace. Sometimes just writing things out.. gives rise to so much clarity. My best to you.

 

Mea:)

[skydiveaddict]

I wish I could write like that, well done

[AmeliaApple]

Good luck. Don't give up even when it dips.

[Confused_in_canada]

Don't give up man. There is always another bus....

Hang in there

Ev

[start-fresh]

We were commuters on the same bus just waiting for our next transfer.

 

Love. It.

[jstalltxga]

this reminds me of a song by the black crowes called good friday. give it a listen, it always helps me when I get into a spot like this.

 

[nittygritty]

It's a beautiful letter.

[Double D]

Just like everyone else has said. Great letter. Hope it helped.

 

Keep doing what you need to do to move on.

 

Tomorrow is another day and you dont know whats going to happen.

 

Wish you well.

[Meaplus3]

I wrote a letter like this to my online friend I had fell in love with. It was impossible to meet and we parted ways... She was the only one I had ever felt love for...I didn't know it at the time, but it was real... After we parted ways I knew that it was real. So I wrote a letter to let her go, but somehow, she will never be fully gone... she meant to much to me to fully let go....

 

Same thing happened to me Soul. Wrote a letter to a guy I fell in love with online. Never sent the letter.. but felt good to write. The guy will always be in my heart.

 

Mea:)