sigurpol Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 Haven't posted in a while, but needed to write SOMETHING tonight, haha. Last yearish (or more) I met someone and at first, was attracted to her. After finding out we got along insanely well, we started to hang out a lot more. But all the while, I had this feeling to tell myself to hold back and not cross any lines. Eventually, after spending so much time together, the line was crossed from spending time, to hooking up while we spent time. This went on for a while (and a lot of my friends were telling me I'm crazy for not dating her), but I eventually came out and told her how I felt. Basically, how, I love spending time together, but I feel like if we were to date, I would really upset you because I'm not as excited about that as you are. But, if you still want to spend time, then I would totally agree to. She was upset, but said she would. Things were always quite the same, and we fell out of touch after so long. Earlier this year, I bumped into a friend of hers that I met once or twice. She said she wanted to get together sometime, and I agreed to. Before everyone jumps on this, I knew damn well I was getting in trouble, but I started to really become attracted to this person. This friend and I date for about.. a few weeks (she ended up being nuts) and we broke up. All the while, I knew that our relationship was public knowledge. So, I would be out in town after work, and run into the original girl I'm talking. She, and rightfully so, wouldn't look at me or talk to me. After a night of drinking, I made a foolish mistake of calling her to just.. talk, I guess. She wasn't having it, but called me the next day asking "what do you want from me?". I didn't give a straight answer, and I wanted to say I wish we could still hang out (and we had some mutual friends). But, didn't have the guts to request anything like that, since I really don't deserve it. All the while, I've avoided seeing her. Until tonight. My friends wanted to go out, so I went with. When we got to the place for drinks, my buddy turns to me and says, "funny enough, last time we were here, I saw ____. We talked for a while, but it was kinda weird bumping into her". I kinda laughed it off, but as I turned around.. there she was. With a group of friends, who knew the group I CAME WITH. I was probably paranoid, but they sat at the both next to us, and I had to face her in the direction I was sitting in. While, I kept seeing her friends turn around and make eye contact with me. Eventually, I just left and went home because I wasn't having any fun, and became really uncomfortable. Obviously, I'd still like to hang out with her, but I've come to the conclusion that theres no way that would happen with ease.
JohnM Posted June 9, 2010 Posted June 9, 2010 You're probably quite right, and its understandable that there is feeling of awkwardness. If you feel it she will feel it too. There was already some feelings and thoughts that were never addressed from your initial 'relationship' with her. This will have been compounded by you getting involved with the second girl. To then have an awkward what do you want from me? not dealth with means theres just too much baggage to you two now to have a normal platonic relationship. You would need a serious talk and in all likelihood it just wouldn't be the same again unless some walls and issues were dealt with.
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