xRJ85x Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 It's been a while since I've gone out on a legit first date (my last relationship started with a one night stand). The date went well, it ended with a kiss and a "Call me." We both looked at each other and went in for it at the same time, and I gave her a gentle and quick kiss on the lips. On the way home, I was just a little worried how she may have taken it, specifically if it was too weak. I had a lot of fun and really like her, but I made it quick obviously because I know all girls differ on first kiss opinions. So for the ladies, what's a solid date-ending kiss and how much stock do you put really put into it? I know normally kissing after a date is a very big deal, but this was a first date, not a second or third.
EmeraldHeart Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 I typically don't put any stock in a first date kiss. I don't even think it is necessary. If I do receive a kiss on the first date and it doesn't blow my socks off...that is ok. I don't expect it to. I would expect it to be a little awkward, so as I said at the beginning...I don't put much stock in a first date kiss.
Confusedalways Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 I'm not really a kisser on the first dater-- but if so, a weak kiss doesn't kill it if I like the guy. You have to do a whole lot more than have a less than amazing first kiss to wreck a good date Relax, I'm sure it was fine!
USMCHokie Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 This is a good question, and I'm also interested in some of the ladies' answers to this...I went on a first date with a girl I met online last week and we had that first date kiss, but it was a quickie...nothing crazy magical like in the movies, but it was still nice...
Confusedalways Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 Nice is good! I think a "wow" first kiss is just that-- a wow. It doesn't mean the nice or good kisses are BAD.
MisUnderstanding Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 Ok, here's a lady's response If I like the guy and the date was awesome and I feel there is connection, then I wouldn't mind a kiss, in fact I would want it. And the better the date went the longer and more passionate the kiss would be. But on a first date, medium tongue is as far as it'd get. I think more would be just too involved. If the girl pulled away quickly, she's not that into you yet (or at all). If she agrees to another date - not all is lost.
Author xRJ85x Posted June 7, 2010 Author Posted June 7, 2010 This is a good question, and I'm also interested in some of the ladies' answers to this...I went on a first date with a girl I met online last week and we had that first date kiss, but it was a quickie...nothing crazy magical like in the movies, but it was still nice... Yours kinda like how I described mine? I personally could have gone for more, which is why I felt it was kinda weak and might have come across as lacking confidence. But as I said before girls have varying opinions on whether or not to even do it, let alone how it should be done. I took the risk because she kinda gave me an opening by looking at my lips when we turned to say goodbye, which I look at as a good thing. I just was hoping she'd walk away thinking "Hmmm...that was nice!" and not "Ummm...that was it?" hahaha
USMCHokie Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 Yours kinda like how I described mine? I personally could have gone for more, which is why I felt it was kinda weak and might have come across as lacking confidence. But as I said before girls have varying opinions on whether or not to even do it, let alone how it should be done. I took the risk because she kinda gave me an opening by looking at my lips when we turned to say goodbye, which I look at as a good thing. I just was hoping she'd walk away thinking "Hmmm...that was nice!" and not "Ummm...that was it?" hahaha Heh, I know exactly what you're saying here...and this is how I felt too...at first I gave her a hug, and then went I let go, our faces were relatively close, so I decided what the hell, and she kind of went in for it too...but it was a quick kiss...so yea, I'm right there with ya, buddy...
Author xRJ85x Posted June 7, 2010 Author Posted June 7, 2010 Ok, here's a lady's response If I like the guy and the date was awesome and I feel there is connection, then I wouldn't mind a kiss, in fact I would want it. And the better the date went the longer and more passionate the kiss would be. But on a first date, medium tongue is as far as it'd get. I think more would be just too involved. If the girl pulled away quickly, she's not that into you yet (or at all). If she agrees to another date - not all is lost. It was closed mouth, slight press of the lips for a about a second. As texas said below, very reserved. Because kissing on a first date is a big dating question, I think a "small" kiss is fine. I wouldn't personally judge the guy on that as I'd take it as a reserved kiss and not what I'd expect from you when things got closer/more passionate. Yea, I wanted it to basically say "I think you're fun and beautiful and I wanna see you again." We met online too, and she mentioned how she's run into some creepy guys in the past, so anything further than what I gave her I thought would scream "player" or "creep."
Author xRJ85x Posted June 7, 2010 Author Posted June 7, 2010 Heh, I know exactly what you're saying here...and this is how I felt too...at first I gave her a hug, and then went I let go, our faces were relatively close, so I decided what the hell, and she kind of went in for it too...but it was a quick kiss...so yea, I'm right there with ya, buddy... hahaha At least you got a comfortable hug in to set the tone. We just kinda very lightly grabbed arms, our bodies weren't exactly close. I'd like to think we're both sitting here discussing this nervously while the girls we went out with are at home thinking "He's really cool."
USMCHokie Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 Yea, I wanted it to basically say "I think you're fun and beautiful and I wanna see you again." We met online too, and she mentioned how she's run into some creepy guys in the past, so anything further than what I gave her I thought would scream "player" or "creep." Interesting point...and I agree...
MisUnderstanding Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 It was closed mouth, slight press of the lips for a about a second. As texas said below, very reserved. Yea, I wanted it to basically say "I think you're fun and beautiful and I wanna see you again." We met online too, and she mentioned how she's run into some creepy guys in the past, so anything further than what I gave her I thought would scream "player" or "creep." I don't think meeting online had anything to do with it. She (and you) have to learn to treat every new person separately, not based on creeps from the past. A kiss is a kiss, not an invitation to bed. Why should some a****le from the past deserve a kiss and you (nice guy) get nothing?
Author xRJ85x Posted June 7, 2010 Author Posted June 7, 2010 I don't think meeting online had anything to do with it. She (and you) have to learn to treat every new person separately, not based on creeps from the past. A kiss is a kiss, not an invitation to bed. Why should some a****le from the past deserve a kiss and you (nice guy) get nothing? Yea, that's a good point. She didn't associate me with any of them, in fact we were joking about them for a little bit. I didn't want to make it sound like it was most of the reason. I'm just talking about if I had tried to even use tongue, I'm sure it would have come across as a crazy. You know, based off the whole reason that guys aren't supposed to mention anything sexual on the first date. I'm usually the one to take the more reserved road.
MisUnderstanding Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 Yea, that's a good point. She didn't associate me with any of them, in fact we were joking about them for a little bit. I didn't want to make it sound like it was most of the reason. I'm just talking about if I had tried to even use tongue, I'm sure it would have come across as a crazy. You know, based off the whole reason that guys aren't supposed to mention anything sexual on the first date. I'm usually the one to take the more reserved road. That's when you kinda have to see if the connection is there. So let's pretend you're totally into her but not sure about her. Does she smile at you, laugh at you, touch you (that's a big one), look into your eyes? If you answered yes, then you can go for a kiss. Then of course there are reserved girls who think kiss on a first date is a no-no, and then you are in trouble. But the risk is so worth it.
D-Lish Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 Yours kinda like how I described mine? I personally could have gone for more, which is why I felt it was kinda weak and might have come across as lacking confidence. But as I said before girls have varying opinions on whether or not to even do it, let alone how it should be done. I took the risk because she kinda gave me an opening by looking at my lips when we turned to say goodbye, which I look at as a good thing. I just was hoping she'd walk away thinking "Hmmm...that was nice!" and not "Ummm...that was it?" hahaha While you are wondering if it was aggressive enough, she is wondering how she measures up. Don't worry about it- if you like her, call her again.
alexlakeman Posted June 9, 2010 Posted June 9, 2010 I guess you have to play it by ear... I was a little slow on the "first date kissing" LOL... , but I figure if we are clicking, all is going fine, the night flows great, she will probably want the kiss as much as I do..
alexlakeman Posted July 6, 2010 Posted July 6, 2010 What are some more of the ladies' opinion on this? Say the first date is happy hour for a drink or two... a kiss on the lips? Figure if she turns her face away she's not interested or she might think the guy is a little too pushy or desperate??
Diezel Posted July 6, 2010 Posted July 6, 2010 Holy crap, massive overthinking in this thread. Beware once you step in. Look, everyone can debate what the standard is for first kisses and what not, but at the end of the night, it's up to the two people in question to feel out their particular situation. OP, to you I say, stop dwelling on the kiss. That's just being insecure. You had fun, and be glad it happened. Call her and go out again. If she doesn't go out, OH WELL. If she does, GOOD. That's it, that's all there is to it. What must we sit here and analyze every single detail about one time with a person we hardly know? What's the point of this thread? Because all it seems to be me is "Connect the Dots". If she doesn't go out with him again, OP will just think "Well, it was the weak kiss"... when in fact, it could just be something that happened earlier than that.
gamma1 Posted July 6, 2010 Posted July 6, 2010 That's when you kinda have to see if the connection is there. So let's pretend you're totally into her but not sure about her. Does she smile at you, laugh at you, touch you (that's a big one), look into your eyes? If you answered yes, then you can go for a kiss. Then of course there are reserved girls who think kiss on a first date is a no-no, and then you are in trouble. But the risk is so worth it. I don't think it's worth the risk. Many women don't like to be touched on a first date. Some have turned away coldly when I tried to hug them at the end of the date.
Green Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 I think you are OVERTHINKING all of this. KISS on first date GREAT. If you felt you wanted more you should have gone back in and had another kiss.
Star Gazer Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 Man, I feel so old-fashioned! I rarely kiss on the first date, particularly with online dates (that's pretty much never!). I only kiss on the first date if it's someone I already know and it's an amazing first date. I suppose I'd make an exception for a phenomenal dude though. So if she's anything like me, you found a girl who really likes you!
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