brainygirl Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 Or at least the ones I've been meeting here lately do. Last two guys I've met have ended up hurting my feelings in a big way. First guy was one who I saw for a couple of months and for that whole time he would lean away from me and not really touch me at all and seemed very uncomfortable and akward around me. I had to be the one that intiated any contact and finally stopped because he seemed so uncomfortable. Then he calls me and tells me he was that way because he really was attracted to me. We saw each other for a couple more months, but he had sexual issues he wouldn't talk about with me, just blamed me for the fact that he couldn't finish and wouldn't talk about making our relationship serious, exclusive or official, but wanted to keep having sex on his schedule. I ended that and met another guy. And its been the same thing as far as I have to be the one calling him and texting him to see if we are going to do anything. And he told me he wasn't sure he wanted to date because I have three kids and have been married, even though he also admitted that I am fun and have a good personality and am really cool. So we decided to be seeing eachother and just see where things went. Then I didn't hear from him for a few days so I texted him and he told me he met a girl at a party he was texting with and didn't think he wanted to see me anymore. So now two guys have basically made me feel like a big steaming pile of worthless. What more can I do in a relationship? They all tell me I'm cute, I'm fun to be around and admit that I have things together, but then there's this big huge BUT that comes with it. I hate it and I hate the way it makes me feel. (like crap).
Ihavenoidea Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 All I can say is don't have sex with them. If they aren't going to be serious then why should you. PLenty of other guys out there.
D-Lish Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 I had to be the one that intiated any contact and finally stopped because he seemed so uncomfortable. Then he calls me and tells me he was that way because he really was attracted to me. We saw each other for a couple more months, but he had sexual issues he wouldn't talk about with me, just blamed me for the fact that he couldn't finish and wouldn't talk about making our relationship serious, exclusive or official, but wanted to keep having sex on his schedule. And its been the same thing as far as I have to be the one calling him and texting him to see if we are going to do anything. And he told me he wasn't sure he wanted to date because I have three kids and have been married, even though he also admitted that I am fun and have a good personality and am really cool. So we decided to be seeing eachother and just see where things went. Then I didn't hear from him for a few days so I texted him and he told me he met a girl at a party he was texting with and didn't think he wanted to see me anymore. So now two guys have basically made me feel like a big steaming pile of worthless. What more can I do in a relationship? They all tell me I'm cute, I'm fun to be around and admit that I have things together, but then there's this big huge BUT that comes with it. I hate it and I hate the way it makes me feel. (like crap). I'd stop investing time and energy into people that aren't worth your time. It seems like you choose to pursue guys with issues and then blame yourself when it doesn't turn out. Recognize the red flags up front and walk away before investing anything. Stop chasing these guys! They act like jerks and you continue to chase them- that's a big part of your problem.
Author brainygirl Posted June 7, 2010 Author Posted June 7, 2010 I'd stop investing time and energy into people that aren't worth your time. It seems like you choose to pursue guys with issues and then blame yourself when it doesn't turn out. Recognize the red flags up front and walk away before investing anything. Stop chasing these guys! They act like jerks and you continue to chase them- that's a big part of your problem. I'm not the pretty girl that they chase. If I didn't pursue men, I wouldn't ever meet or hear from men at all.
Sanman Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 Hey Brainygirl, Sorry to hear about the problems. It's too bad about the first guy as a bit more openness and communcation could have saved the relationship. Unfortunately, Many guys are scared of people with children and that sucks. You can't do much more, but it sounds like it would have been a wasted effort with these guys anyway. Cute, fun, and intelligent are always a good thing. Do something postive for yourself and remember that you do have a lot to offer. There are guys out there that will appreciate that.
Green Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 Or at least the ones I've been meeting here lately do. Last two guys I've met have ended up hurting my feelings in a big way. First guy was one who I saw for a couple of months and for that whole time he would lean away from me and not really touch me at all and seemed very uncomfortable and akward around me. I had to be the one that intiated any contact and finally stopped because he seemed so uncomfortable. Then he calls me and tells me he was that way because he really was attracted to me. We saw each other for a couple more months, but he had sexual issues he wouldn't talk about with me, just blamed me for the fact that he couldn't finish and wouldn't talk about making our relationship serious, exclusive or official, but wanted to keep having sex on his schedule. I ended that and met another guy. And its been the same thing as far as I have to be the one calling him and texting him to see if we are going to do anything. And he told me he wasn't sure he wanted to date because I have three kids and have been married, even though he also admitted that I am fun and have a good personality and am really cool. So we decided to be seeing eachother and just see where things went. Then I didn't hear from him for a few days so I texted him and he told me he met a girl at a party he was texting with and didn't think he wanted to see me anymore. So now two guys have basically made me feel like a big steaming pile of worthless. What more can I do in a relationship? They all tell me I'm cute, I'm fun to be around and admit that I have things together, but then there's this big huge BUT that comes with it. I hate it and I hate the way it makes me feel. (like crap). Well the first guy seemed like loser especialy since he doesn't know how to cum during sex hahah. as for the other guy he should just make a decision, or you should have made it for him and dumped him. Personaly I wouldn't date some one with kids but I wouldn't start talking to them and be all complicated about it.
Author brainygirl Posted June 7, 2010 Author Posted June 7, 2010 Well the first guy seemed like loser especialy since he doesn't know how to cum during sex hahah. as for the other guy he should just make a decision, or you should have made it for him and dumped him. Personaly I wouldn't date some one with kids but I wouldn't start talking to them and be all complicated about it. Second guy has a kid too.
D-Lish Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 I'm not the pretty girl that they chase. If I didn't pursue men, I wouldn't ever meet or hear from men at all. Then you need to work on your self esteem girlie. If you don't deem yourself worthy of being sought, you make it so. Don't allow yourself to go through life believing what you stated, it's self defeating.
Cracker Jack Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 Don't allow men (These ones are jokes, btw) like that force you to believe you're the issue. Clearly it was them. Those were just bad guys. Sorry you had to go through that--but not all men are like that.
Shakz Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 Well the first guy seemed like loser especialy since he doesn't know how to cum during sex hahah. Oh, that's rich!
ADF Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 It doesn't sound like you are doing anything wrong, or that there is anything wrong with you. Although these two guys sound quite different from each other, they had one thing in common: a reluctance to enter into any kind of clearly defined relationship. Honestly, I don't get it. So many men--particularly younger men--wince at the thought of committing to anything other than a casual hook up. Never mind getting married--they balk at the idea of being someone's boyfriend. It is like they dread the thought of anything that might leave their options less than totally open. What they don't realize is that if you don't commit to something, you most often get nothing. Also, avoiding commitments takes at least as much effort as managing relationships. Look at some of the FWB posts. These people are drviing themselves crazy. And why? Because they LIKE each other. And that makes them unhappy. Because they don't want to have any emotional involvements. Sigh. Again, I just don't get it.
sigurpol Posted June 8, 2010 Posted June 8, 2010 Well the first guy seemed like loser especialy since he doesn't know how to cum during sex hahah. What a wildly offensive thing to say.
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