Mik12 Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 OK so i havent been on here in a while but I need a bit of insight. To make a long story short my ex and I broke up in september, she started dating someone shortly after but It didnt last. In total we were in NC for a little over 5 months (after 2 yrs together) . We have been in contact now for the past 3 months. I screwed it all up pretty much from the begining by coming out and telling her I still had feelings for her. So anyway we had been seeing each other occasionaly without anything really happening, she was kinda wishy washy with her intentions and just kept repeating that she wanted to take things day by day. So anyway for about a month we played the cat and mouse game, I got tired of her not giving a damn so I would tell her it was best if we just went back to NC, she would somehow start chasing me and convincing me that I should just be more patient, everytime she threw crumbs I'd come back. Well last time we spoke she actually threw more than crumbs, she told me she still had feelings for me and still wanted to take things slowly, the only problem is her actions didnt reflect that so I got kinda pissed and told her again that I was taking a bow from her life. For a few days after that she kept calling me and texting me which I ignored everytime, whenever I would ask her what was up it was always about something random and irrelevant (like it was a pretext to talk to me) So anyway last saturday was the last of these random texts when she asked me a stupid question about her phone, I didnt reply but havent heard anything since then. So i guess my question is , why would she convince me to not go back to NC on several occasions, tell me she still has feelings and wants to take things slow and then completely disappear? Should I even be expecting a call soon? I dont get her behavior at all.
ADF Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 Her behavior is perfectly normal. Any time two people split up, there are bound to be plenty of mixed feelings. Her behavior is erratic because she is not sure what she wants. There are probably moments where she misses you terribly, and others where she doesn't. I don't know you, and I don't know her, so I cannot tell you what to do. But what I can tell you is that I've seen relationships like the one you describe drag on for YEARS in a break-up/make-up/break-up again cycle. In the end, the two people almost never end up together happily, and wish they'd let go earlier.
paperchase Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 OK so i havent been on here in a while but I need a bit of insight. To make a long story short my ex and I broke up in september, she started dating someone shortly after but It didnt last. In total we were in NC for a little over 5 months (after 2 yrs together) . We have been in contact now for the past 3 months. I screwed it all up pretty much from the begining by coming out and telling her I still had feelings for her. So anyway we had been seeing each other occasionaly without anything really happening, she was kinda wishy washy with her intentions and just kept repeating that she wanted to take things day by day. So anyway for about a month we played the cat and mouse game, I got tired of her not giving a damn so I would tell her it was best if we just went back to NC, she would somehow start chasing me and convincing me that I should just be more patient, everytime she threw crumbs I'd come back. Well last time we spoke she actually threw more than crumbs, she told me she still had feelings for me and still wanted to take things slowly, the only problem is her actions didnt reflect that so I got kinda pissed and told her again that I was taking a bow from her life. For a few days after that she kept calling me and texting me which I ignored everytime, whenever I would ask her what was up it was always about something random and irrelevant (like it was a pretext to talk to me) So anyway last saturday was the last of these random texts when she asked me a stupid question about her phone, I didnt reply but havent heard anything since then. So i guess my question is , why would she convince me to not go back to NC on several occasions, tell me she still has feelings and wants to take things slow and then completely disappear? Should I even be expecting a call soon? I dont get her behavior at all. If she really wants you nothing will stop her from contacting you again. Since you now what breadcrumbs are I'm sure you know that eating them is bad for your emotional health. Stop the cycle and do not let her back into your life until she tells you everything you need to hear and, even then, proceed with caution. My ex got on her knees said she wanted to marry me and have my babies. I gave her a second chance and a year later I'm back posting on here again.
Author Mik12 Posted June 7, 2010 Author Posted June 7, 2010 If she really wants you nothing will stop her from contacting you again. Since you now what breadcrumbs are I'm sure you know that eating them is bad for your emotional health. Stop the cycle and do not let her back into your life until she tells you everything you need to hear and, even then, proceed with caution. My ex got on her knees said she wanted to marry me and have my babies. I gave her a second chance and a year later I'm back posting on here again. I know what you mean but thats exactly whats got me confused, I mean in the past few months whenever I told her id be going NC she started chasing till I came back. So this time around in the matter of a week she went from telling me she still had feelings to being a total b****. She then pretended like nothing had happened and for 4 days in a row i ignored all her contact because it did not look like she wanted to say what i wanted to hear. Anyway its been 8 days since her last attempt.... Its kinda hard to understand how one can go from one extreme to the other
supersub Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 I know what you mean but thats exactly whats got me confused, I mean in the past few months whenever I told her id be going NC she started chasing till I came back. So this time around in the matter of a week she went from telling me she still had feelings to being a total b****. She then pretended like nothing had happened and for 4 days in a row i ignored all her contact because it did not look like she wanted to say what i wanted to hear. Anyway its been 8 days since her last attempt.... Its kinda hard to understand how one can go from one extreme to the other Hi Mik12, Sorry you are going through this BS. This is exactly why Paper is telling you to go NC, because of the extremes you talk about. Believe you me, its not worth it if its this much trouble, and its this unpleasant. I just went through a failed reconnect, and though things didn't get as bad as your situation I was lucky enough to agree to get out before it did. Sure its tough, but at least if you get out now you can start working towards a happier future for yourself now. I would go NC, and not respond to anything. That way she can't set you back anymore. This is a classic power play by her.
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