EmeraldHeart Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 Well, this is the 2nd time this has happened in the past 5 weeks. The last time this happened, I spoke with the current man I am "seeing" I asked that he give me a call early afternoon to see if we would be able to see each other that day. On both occasions I was having my mom, sisters, and niece and nephew over just to hang out and for dinner. When the family is over and I have been known to leave the house and they lock up when they leave and he knows that. He asked if I wanted to use him to escape. Anywho, he did not call when I asked and the next time we spoke he said the he figured I was busy so he decided to wait and call. I told him that I would have been available to talk at that time which is why I asked you to call. Since then, he has called when I have asked or he has stated he would call. We didn't know if we would be able to see each other this weekend due to my schedule and also his dog is injured and he can't be away from him for an extended period of time. Yesterday we spoke for 2 hours and I asked that he call me today, early afternoon to see if we were both able to sneak out and meet today. He hasn't called. He forwarded me some joke emails this morning, just like the last time he didn't call when he was supposed to. Am I reading too much into this? I have been told by several people that he is a different sort of guy. He isn't a big talker and we talked about that recently. Our last 2 phone calls (thursday and saturday) lasted a total of 3 hours, which is long for us. I just don't know what to think. I don't want to waste my time but I don't want to bail too soon. Thoughts?
WintersNightTraveler Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 Why can't you just call him? If he's "not a big talker" and you're asking him to call you (instead of simply calling him) and keeping him on the phone for hours he's probably pretty unhappy/exasperated about the whole phone situation.
Author EmeraldHeart Posted June 7, 2010 Author Posted June 7, 2010 Why can't you just call him? If he's "not a big talker" and you're asking him to call you (instead of simply calling him) and keeping him on the phone for hours he's probably pretty unhappy/exasperated about the whole phone situation. LOL...nah, I tried to get off the phone with him yesterday and he was the one that kept me on. It is not typical for us to talk for 2 hours and when I tried to end the conversation after hour 1, he wanted to keep talking. I was taking it as a sign that things are progressing, we are really trying to get to know one another. I typically only call once a week. I don't push myself on him. The reason I didn't call him today was that I called him yesterday and I asked him to call me to let me know if he would be able to leave his dog for a few hours to see one another. Also, because it is give and take.
WintersNightTraveler Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 Wow then I have no clue. Sounds like he can't make up his mind about whether he is a phone person or not! Good luck.
Author EmeraldHeart Posted June 7, 2010 Author Posted June 7, 2010 I guess what is bothering me most is that the call was to see if we were going to see each other this weekend.
marsle85 Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 You're being too controlling. Try not to "count" calls/texts/emails, and try to enjoy the relationship. He's a human being with a life, and people... not a dog. Show that you appreciate when he does call when you say you'd be free, and respond positively... and when he calls when you don't suggest- don't pick up. He'll start to realize calling when you say you're free is the most effective manner to communicate with you.
Author EmeraldHeart Posted June 7, 2010 Author Posted June 7, 2010 (edited) I am anything but controlling. I asked him to call since he was the one that would be the one deciding if we were seeing each other today. I let him know when a good time to call would be, early afternoon, so I can plan things out with other things I had going on. I guess he decided we weren't seeing each other today and he thought there was no point in calling....showing lack of interest/respect...that is what I am trying to figure out. Also, I want him to call whenever he wants to call...not just when I suggest/which I have only done twice... and not on some type of schedule. I just expected him to call those 2 times I told him would be best to get a hold of me to make plans. Edited June 7, 2010 by EmeraldHeart
Catherina Posted June 12, 2010 Posted June 12, 2010 I say just go ahead and make your plans, with or without him. He's the man; you should never schedule your life around him. Once he realizes how busy you are, if he really wants to see you, he'll put forth more effort to contact you and to make plans with you in advance and get on your schedule.
Author EmeraldHeart Posted June 12, 2010 Author Posted June 12, 2010 He has shown his true colors. It is going anywhere. I just wish we didn't work together. He called Tuesday to try and set up plans for this weekend and then he couldn't decide which day would work best because of the things he had going on. Well, he said he was calling later during the week and never did. Here it is Saturday and nothing. Oh well, I had hopes with this guys and once again, I was wrong! It is going to be really weird when I have to talk to him at work next week. I just don't know how I go about hiding that I am upset over the situation. I want so badly to call, but I am not going to...there is no point...I would never get a straight answer.
Feelin Frisky Posted June 12, 2010 Posted June 12, 2010 You're being too controlling. Try not to "count" calls/texts/emails, and try to enjoy the relationship. He's a human being with a life, and people... not a dog. Show that you appreciate when he does call when you say you'd be free, and respond positively... and when he calls when you don't suggest- don't pick up. He'll start to realize calling when you say you're free is the most effective manner to communicate with you. Ditto to that.
Author EmeraldHeart Posted June 12, 2010 Author Posted June 12, 2010 (edited) I have called him...I don't count the text/emails/calls, but I do want him to call and call when he states that he will. There are times when I have called him and he sounds shocked that I did. Well, that made me scale back. Also, if someone says they are going to call me, I wait for them to call...I don't call them. I don't want to invade their space/time. He just isn't interested. He says one thing and does another...meaning he does nothing. I wouldn't think a man in his 40's would be this way. Anyway, doesn't matter now. I will go about things differently if I get the chance with another man. I am not a big dater and I don't do online dating stuff...so who in the hell knows when the next guy will come along! lol Edited June 12, 2010 by EmeraldHeart
Author EmeraldHeart Posted June 12, 2010 Author Posted June 12, 2010 I call men, I text men. I don't have an issue doing so. I would like it to be more of a back and forth thing. I call when I say I am going to call. I don't call all of the time knowing he isn't a big talker. He used to call me every other day and then BAM...hardly ever. I would like someone to call me when they say they are going to and I would like someone to call me if I ask, "do you mind calling to confirm." If that is asking too much, that is ridiculous! This dude, like so many others, is too chicken to just say...Hey, I don't think this is working. Well, he is going to have to face me sooner or later. I will eventually see him at work.
alexlakeman Posted June 12, 2010 Posted June 12, 2010 I guess what is bothering me most is that the call was to see if we were going to see each other this weekend. I AM GUILTY of that.. are you sure you're not the girl I am talking to? LOL... jk.. I have been talking with a new girl, and we couldn't coordinate our schedules during the week to go out on a first date, so we agreed to talk Sat early afternoon and meet for lunch or something.. I never made the call..still here, pondering "should I call her or not"?? "Was she just trying to blow me off with the "busy schedule"?" ... so maybe he's going through the same thoughts as me, lol... I be monitoring this thread to see if I call and see if he calls you, lol ..
Author EmeraldHeart Posted June 13, 2010 Author Posted June 13, 2010 We talked on Tuesday to set up plans for the weekend and all in the same breathe, he suggests 2 things he knows I would like to do and then proceeds to tell me things that may keep us from getting together which were things that WOULD NOT take 2 days to accomplish. HE stated he would be calling Thursday or Friday. Well, here it is Saturday and nothing. I just texted him saying "just touching base" and he responded he is out grocery shopping and asked if I wanted anything and I said coke and jokingly a day planner, which got lost in translation. He didn't acknowledge that he didn't call and that we aren't doing anything this weekend. Did I just excuse his behavior? I KNOW I probably shouldn't have texted him and just waited to see if he would contact me. I am now back to square one after doing so well! LOL
Author EmeraldHeart Posted June 13, 2010 Author Posted June 13, 2010 I AM GUILTY of that.. are you sure you're not the girl I am talking to? LOL... jk.. I have been talking with a new girl, and we couldn't coordinate our schedules during the week to go out on a first date, so we agreed to talk Sat early afternoon and meet for lunch or something.. I never made the call..still here, pondering "should I call her or not"?? "Was she just trying to blow me off with the "busy schedule"?" ... so maybe he's going through the same thoughts as me, lol... I be monitoring this thread to see if I call and see if he calls you, lol .. LOL...wouldn't that be hilarious! I just ask that we schedule in advance so we BOTH can know how are weekends will shape up. I have no problem calling, but he does work a lot of overtime and I know because we work together. I ask him to call because he is the one with the super busy schedule...I have no issue with him calling late at night and still...It is super frustrating! Why not just tell me to **** off? I am about to say that to him! LOL
alexlakeman Posted June 13, 2010 Posted June 13, 2010 LOL...wouldn't that be hilarious! I just ask that we schedule in advance so we BOTH can know how are weekends will shape up. I have no problem calling, but he does work a lot of overtime and I know because we work together. I ask him to call because he is the one with the super busy schedule...I have no issue with him calling late at night and still...It is super frustrating! Why not just tell me to **** off? I am about to say that to him! LOL Interesting seeing a girl's point... I can't imagine he forgot the weekend's plan with you... So text him back "So you're cooking dinner for both of us? Remember we had made plans? lol" ... send it like that , kinda joking, but reminding him.. See in my case, I can't call her now, since it's Sat night.. it would be odd for a guy to be home on a saturday night...lol. Good luck
Confusedalways Posted June 13, 2010 Posted June 13, 2010 I AM GUILTY of that.. are you sure you're not the girl I am talking to? LOL... jk.. I have been talking with a new girl, and we couldn't coordinate our schedules during the week to go out on a first date, so we agreed to talk Sat early afternoon and meet for lunch or something.. I never made the call..still here, pondering "should I call her or not"?? "Was she just trying to blow me off with the "busy schedule"?" ... so maybe he's going through the same thoughts as me, lol... I be monitoring this thread to see if I call and see if he calls you, lol .. Are you the guy I was talking to?! Good grief, call her!
alexlakeman Posted June 13, 2010 Posted June 13, 2010 Are you the guy I was talking to?! Good grief, call her! LOL, I can't it's Sat night, and I am home chilling out, but I don't want to come accross like I have no life and am at home on a Sat night lol... I am just tired today and chilling out at home drinking some wine , listening to music, and surfing... not sure how that would come accross...
Author EmeraldHeart Posted June 13, 2010 Author Posted June 13, 2010 I texted him this evening and he got back to me right away. we went back and forth with a few texts and then I asked him if wires got crossed and was I supposed to call him about weekend plans and I don't know what happened...that was 2 hours ago and he hasn't texted back. I would really like to call him and tell him I know what he is doing and I expected him to be more mature and more respectful since we have to deal with each other at work. I am such a fool for having texted him.
alexlakeman Posted June 13, 2010 Posted June 13, 2010 I texted him this evening and he got back to me right away. we went back and forth with a few texts and then I asked him if wires got crossed and was I supposed to call him about weekend plans and I don't know what happened...that was 2 hours ago and he hasn't texted back. I would really like to call him and tell him I know what he is doing and I expected him to be more mature and more respectful since we have to deal with each other at work. I am such a fool for having texted him. Oh that s.cks..... I texted this girl last friday and she never responded, but we talked on Monday...
Author EmeraldHeart Posted June 13, 2010 Author Posted June 13, 2010 Would it not be stupid for me to call him and just see what is going on? I know what is going on, but I want to hear it from him! Why respond to any of my texts at all....doesn't make sense to me.
alexlakeman Posted June 13, 2010 Posted June 13, 2010 Would it not be stupid for me to call him and just see what is going on? I know what is going on, but I want to hear it from him! Why respond to any of my texts at all....doesn't make sense to me. I would WAIT until tommorrow, especially on a Sat night, looks like you are just there waiting for him (same as me, and "not" calling on a Sat night).... I'll call her Sunday if you promise to call him Sunday... lol.. early afternoon.. lol...
Author EmeraldHeart Posted June 13, 2010 Author Posted June 13, 2010 Ha! He already knows that I am at home....lol He probably won't answer and then I really look stupid! UGH!
alexlakeman Posted June 13, 2010 Posted June 13, 2010 You are SOL if he knows you're home then, lol... She hasn't responded to my text 1/2 an hour ago.. SEE, if I would've called and she didn't answer, I would look stu.pid.. lol... "oh, this guy's calling me last minute on a Sat night?" might have been her comment
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