Cinnamon Posted June 6, 2010 Posted June 6, 2010 (edited) I had 3 dates with a man, 40. We both were looking for FWBs. On the 4th date we had sex for the first time. As for the sex, I did not like the man's attitude about me and sex with me. He complained about many things such as my wrong way of kissing, my wrong way of having sex and even my age. He mentioned that sex would be better if I was younger. Anyway, I told him that he was great at sex and I enjoyed the experience. Then, he contacted me later to repeat sex, but I told him that I was busy and I would contact him as soon as I would be ready. And, I have never contacted him again because I did not like his personality and sex with him. He took it easily and he has not emailed me for 3 months. Suddenly, after 3 months, he started to call/email me asking desperately to meet. He said me now that I was an OK-kisser, good at sex, very attractive and all other possible complements. He was very cooperative and ready to do whatever I wanted just for meeting me for sex. I gave him some signals that I was not interested too much in sex these days. But, he said that he wanted me so much and he would do whatever it takes to meet me. That all does not make any sense to me unless I am the only female in the area available for FWBs. But, I am sure it is not the case in my area. So, he has totally changed his behavior from critical to admiring. Also, he wants to have sex with me for no rational reason because I haven't shown any signs of interest in him. I have a few questions. What are the possible reasons for him to want to have sex with me so desperately? Is it possible that the reason is that he wants to revenge me for rejecting him 3 months ago? Should I be afraid of meeting him? How would a man get even with a girl who rejected him after having sex? Edited June 6, 2010 by Cinnamon
ADF Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 The fundamental mistake here was yours. You should have told this man, flat out that you didn't want to see him anymore. Yes, it would have been more difficult for you. It would have meant having an unpleasant conversation. But it would have been over. Instead, you tried to make it easy on yourself by pulling a disappearing act. Big mistake. The disappearing act is the lowest, most cowardly, most disrespectful BS people pull on each other. Plus, it leaves things unclear. Tell this guy in no unceratin terms you and he are through. And don't take the easy way out next time.
WintersNightTraveler Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 His other FWB fell through recently and he's trying to setup another one. Don't worry too much he's not looking for revenge just for sex.
Sanman Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 I agree with everything above. It's most likely that he had options (other women) 3 months ago. Now that he doesn't have those options/ is in a dry spell, he is back and trying with you. Have sex with him if you want, but expect a repeat performance of last time as soon as he finds someone else for fwb.
D-Lish Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 Why would you want to talk to this guy again???? Your first time with him should have taught you all you need to know about him. It's simple why he is contacting you again- because he isn't getting sex elsewhere and you already did it with him once. Don't degrade yourself again. He's saying what he needs to say and acting the way he needs to in order to get into your pants again.
Author Cinnamon Posted June 7, 2010 Author Posted June 7, 2010 I was trying to get rid of him and I sent him an emal. I told him that I was free on two certain days which I knew he would have trouble to meet me. And, I also told him that I was going to be unavailable during next month or so. He works long hrs on the days and a trip to my place takes more than 1 hr, therefore, I really hoped that he would not able to come to my place after work. 3 months ago, he told me that he could not come to my place on those days. Today he answered me that any of these days was great and that he was thrilled to come to see me. It does not make any sense because I am still not a perfect kisser and not even any younger. That is why I am afraid that he wants to revenge.
Shakz Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 I'm not one to give advice but take my advice and avoid this guy like the plague. First time in bed and he calls you a lousy lover. The nerve.
D-Lish Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 I was trying to get rid of him and I sent him an emal. I told him that I was free on two certain days which I knew he would have trouble to meet me. And, I also told him that I was going to be unavailable during next month or so. He works long hrs on the days and a trip to my place takes more than 1 hr, therefore, I really hoped that he would not able to come to my place after work. 3 months ago, he told me that he could not come to my place on those days. Today he answered me that any of these days was great and that he was thrilled to come to see me. It does not make any sense because I am still not a perfect kisser and not even any younger. That is why I am afraid that he wants to revenge. Who cares what his reasons are- he insulted you and he treated you like crap. He's saying what he needs to say in order to get laid again. I don't know why you'd waste energy responding to him. If you had any self respect whatsoever, you'd have simply ignored him when he crawled out of a hole 3 months later.
Author Cinnamon Posted June 7, 2010 Author Posted June 7, 2010 Who cares what his reasons are- he insulted you and he treated you like crap. It was not direct insult but it was rather criticism of my skills. He told me that I was not good at kissing. So, I asked him to teach me. He tried to teach me and I tried to figure out what he wanted, but his kissing was kind of strange to me and I was not able to get to the point. I still have no idea how to satisfy the guy with kissing. I have never had the problem with other guys.
ADF Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 I was trying to get rid of him and I sent him an emal. I told him that I was free on two certain days which I knew he would have trouble to meet me. And, I also told him that I was going to be unavailable during next month or so. He works long hrs on the days and a trip to my place takes more than 1 hr, therefore, I really hoped that he would not able to come to my place after work. 3 months ago, he told me that he could not come to my place on those days. Today he answered me that any of these days was great and that he was thrilled to come to see me. It does not make any sense because I am still not a perfect kisser and not even any younger. That is why I am afraid that he wants to revenge. But you see, this is exactly what you SHOULDN'T do. Stop evading him. Stop being meek and scared to say what you really want to say. Don't tell him you're free on days you know he is busy, thinking that will frustrate him enough to give. It never will. When a man wants sex, he'll find a way. Heck, he'll MAKE a way. There only thing you need to do is tell him, flat out, not to contact you anymore. That's it. Stop trying to make this easy on yourself and tell him the truth.
MisUnderstanding Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 Eek, why would you want to see that guy again? Like everyone said, he is desperate and horny. You know, there will always be someone who doesn't like some way of kissing. You clearly didn't connect there. Tell him to get lost and find yourself someone who likes you. If you see him again, you are just as desperate as he is.
D-Lish Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 It was not direct insult but it was rather criticism of my skills. He told me that I was not good at kissing. So, I asked him to teach me. He tried to teach me and I tried to figure out what he wanted, but his kissing was kind of strange to me and I was not able to get to the point. I still have no idea how to satisfy the guy with kissing. I have never had the problem with other guys. It was inappropriate, and more than a little demeaning. Are you actually considering seeing him again?????
Cracker Jack Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 Bad idea. The guys sounds like a jerk, anyway. He's only telling you what he thinks you want to hear in order to have sex with you again, as others have mentioned. After that, he'll probably continue being a jerk once again. Unfortunately, it looks like he's going to be successful, even though he openly disrespected you. A pity.
Author Cinnamon Posted June 7, 2010 Author Posted June 7, 2010 Thank you everyone. I am not going to see him again.
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