The decision making process, differences between men and women.

[Posi]

 

 

And this is me :lmao::lmao: once again laughing at your assertion of being a well traveled person. If it were true, we'd have zero immigration issues.

 

Sally, your responses cracked me up. Instead of getting the big picture of my post, you nitpick and make assumptions on tiny parts of it.

 

I am single by choice. I would like to add that your thoughts on divorce filings is very interesting...thanks for sharing.

 

I won't go in on your immigration illogical argument, because immigration is mostly male dominated, people working under the table to send money home to their wives and families.

 

Furthermore, it's an american attitude that everyone wants to come here. For example, two women I've dated while travelling, I wanted them to come over. They would not, for two reasons. 1, they love their country and culture and have strong family ties. 2nd, they were scared about how they would be treated....not by men, but by women here.

 

One happy couple I know, the wife uprooted from Peru. They are very happy together. I asked her how the transition was. She said difficult, because women do not like her here. She gets treated as less than a person, by other women. Not by men, but by women.

 

I strongly suggest losing the American is the best mentality, and just realize that there are wonderful cultures everywhere, with good people.

 

Travel and you'll understand.

Edited June 8, 2010 by Posi

[sally4sara]

Sally, your responses cracked me up. Instead of getting the big picture of my post, you nitpick and make assumptions on tiny parts of it.

 

I am single by choice.

 

I won't go in on your immigration illogical argument, because immigration is mostly male dominated, people working under the table to send money home to their wives and families.

 

Furthermore, it's an american attitude that everyone wants to come here. For example, two women I've dated while travelling, I wanted them to come over. They would not, for two reasons. 1, they love their country and culture and have strong family ties. 2nd, they were scared about how they would be treated....not by men, but by women here.

 

One happy couple I know, the wife uprooted from Peru. They are very happy together. I asked her how the transition was. She said difficult, because women do not like her here. She gets treated as less than a person, by other women. Not by men, but by women.

 

I strongly suggest losing the American is the best mentality, and just realize that there are wonderful cultures everywhere, with good people.

 

Travel and you'll understand.

 

Funny as well how all these mail order brides are so happy living in their own country while still being willing to sell themselves into sexual slavery just to get out......YOU'RE the one talking about how large a market there is for women seeking to come here and men who are comfortable with buying people. I realize you did so to try, once again, to show women (this time a particular culture's women) in a poor light rather than lend a lack of credibility to your assertion that American women are so screwed up that no one would wish to purchase them or doubt to your further assertion that women on other countries are so happy there by comparison. You'll pardon me if I don't cry into my pillow at the thought of being passed over for purchase on an internet slaver's block.

 

But I'm sure your ONE woman's personal story is the truth for all. I'm betting a language barrier to be the possibility at the root of her observations.

 

And I'm getting inpatient again. Its your reading comprehension skills this time. Please quote where I spoke of how great America is compared to other cultures. I'm pretty sure I only spoke of it being a wealthy country with many reasons for men and women to develop the entitled attitudes you only recognize in women.

 

So despite my amusement at your inability to address my counter points, my impatience is causing me to grow lazy in my attempts to continue to try to reason with you and help you find a mental adjustment. You will fit in quiet nicely on here. I have given up on most of the other misogynists that frequent this site. I will lose no sleep over giving up on you too.

[samspade]

I am well travelled and can honestly say, women in general are much happier in other counties, than in our own.

 

There are a lot of sub arguments going on here, but I will back up OP on this one from a general standpoint. It applies to men and women however. I've traveled a lot and my non-scientific viewpoint is that Americans are some of the least happy people in the world. The "immigration issues" that sally4sara mentions exist in spite of this, and because of other reasons, among them higher pay, more freedoms, and a chance of a higher standard of living. None of these necessarily lead directly to greater happiness; in a way, they are sucking away at it.

 

I'm not going to pretend that I'd be happier living in a squalid shack in some third world country, but I've noticed that people in other nations without a pot to piss in often enjoy a state of happiness that you don't see in the harried and workaholic American millionaire. Totally unscientific mind you.

 

If men are listing their achievements more than what they are looking for, women will, in turn, list less of what they offer and focus on what manner of achievements a man should have to be considered desirous to them. If the two genders did the opposite, you'd be asking why all women do on a dating site is boastfully talk of what they offer, while focusing less on the kind of man they will spread their legs for.

 

This is an interesting point, but a moot one. Yes, you could flip the scenarios, but the greater point is that the first half is the way it is - with one correction. In the chicken-egg mating game, the man is the one adjusting his approach based on what the woman deems masculine (attractive) in the first place. This is because the male operates from a scarcity standpoint, whereas the female operates from an abundance standpoint.

 

Put simply, if a woman can (and she can) choose from a large group of males, it is in her interests to qualify those males based on their achievements, the modern day equivalent of hunting and providing for her and offspring. Of course, females compete for males by making themselves appear as attractive as possible, but the greater point is that they are competing for the top males. In the online dating world, this translates to women, regardless of income level, stating their qualifications for an "ideal" mate, and posting a pretty picture, while men project ambition, accomplishment, and independence. Yes, you could flip the two in theory, but for this to happen you'd need to give women millions of available mature eggs to drop at any moment, and give men one sperm to shoot per month.

 

This doesn't mean that all women feel entitled or have no ambition. But the simple truth (ugly though it may seem) is that most men do not care how much money or what kind of job an attractive woman has. It doesn't hurt for her to be college educated with high income, but I believe the sense of "entitlement" the OP describes might be that a lot of successful American women can't understand why their success has not increased their attractiveness or translated into finding a suitable lifetime mate. When they have no answer they rationalize that men are "intimidated" by successful women. This - maybe more than anything - is probably why a lot of single American are perceived as unhappy.

[Woggle]

I don't think that women are naturally this way but we live in a culture that refuses to hold them accountable for anything so this is what they turn into. It is a product of nurture and not of nature.

[Posi]

 

So despite my amusement at your inability to address my counter points, my impatience is causing me to grow lazy in my attempts to continue to try to reason with you and help you find a mental adjustment. You will fit in quiet nicely on here. I have given up on most of the other misogynists that frequent this site. I will lose no sleep over giving up on you too.

 

What counterpoints? All you are doing now is accusing me of being a misogynist (which I am not). I've listed a lot of solid facts supporting my arguments, based upon my life experience, while all you can do is conveniently lablel me as a sexist to attempt to weaken, what are, facts.

 

Put yourself in my shoes for a moment....

 

I am very happy with my career. But, I am away from home quite often, for extended amounts of time.

 

With except of maybe 2, every single one of my coworkers who married an american woman is now 1) either divorced and taken to the cleaners, or 2) completely miserable in their marriages, with women they are struggling to keep happy.

 

Now, every man I work with who is married to a foreign woman is completely happy. Every single one! Women from all over the world, the netherlands, eastern europe, france, latin america, asia.

 

They all have happy marriages!

 

These are good honest career men, professionals, who would do anything for their families.

 

Why are the ones who married local woman miserable and broke, but the ones who married from other cultures happy?

 

The only issue, is they are away from home a lot.

 

I am not making this up. I only ask you, why is that? Why, is it soo hard for american couples to make a marriage work in a tough situation?

 

It seems like the american way, is to bail if conditions are not media perfect.

 

By tough situation, I mean where the man is away from home a lot.

 

I don't suspect you to have an answer, nor anyone with a rational one.

 

But, from a single guys perspective...I see it this so obviously, there's an issue here.

 

Until men, and women, wake up, and work together. Putting family first. Accusing either sex, is not going to solve anything. But for now, from my experience, yeah...if I want to settle down. I'm going to follow my coworkers who are happy, I'll start looking to other cultures.

 

I could not be happy with a women who complained nonstop and was just looking out for herself, and her interests.

[Posi]

There are a lot of sub arguments going on here, but I will back up OP on this one from a general standpoint. It applies to men and women however. I've traveled a lot and my non-scientific viewpoint is that Americans are some of the least happy people in the world. The "immigration issues" that sally4sara mentions exist in spite of this, and because of other reasons, among them higher pay, more freedoms, and a chance of a higher standard of living. None of these necessarily lead directly to greater happiness; in a way, they are sucking away at it.

 

I'm not going to pretend that I'd be happier living in a squalid shack in some third world country, but I've noticed that people in other nations without a pot to piss in often enjoy a state of happiness that you don't see in the harried and workaholic American millionaire. Totally unscientific mind you.

 

 

 

This is an interesting point, but a moot one. Yes, you could flip the scenarios, but the greater point is that the first half is the way it is - with one correction. In the chicken-egg mating game, the man is the one adjusting his approach based on what the woman deems masculine (attractive) in the first place. This is because the male operates from a scarcity standpoint, whereas the female operates from an abundance standpoint.

 

Put simply, if a woman can (and she can) choose from a large group of males, it is in her interests to qualify those males based on their achievements, the modern day equivalent of hunting and providing for her and offspring. Of course, females compete for males by making themselves appear as attractive as possible, but the greater point is that they are competing for the top males. In the online dating world, this translates to women, regardless of income level, stating their qualifications for an "ideal" mate, and posting a pretty picture, while men project ambition, accomplishment, and independence. Yes, you could flip the two in theory, but for this to happen you'd need to give women millions of available mature eggs to drop at any moment, and give men one sperm to shoot per month.

 

This doesn't mean that all women feel entitled or have no ambition. But the simple truth (ugly though it may seem) is that most men do not care how much money or what kind of job an attractive woman has. It doesn't hurt for her to be college educated with high income, but I believe the sense of "entitlement" the OP describes might be that a lot of successful American women can't understand why their success has not increased their attractiveness or translated into finding a suitable lifetime mate. When they have no answer they rationalize that men are "intimidated" by successful women. This - maybe more than anything - is probably why a lot of single American are perceived as unhappy.

 

Excellent post samspade, thank you for contributing.