The decision making process, differences between men and women.

[Posi]

I think the decision making process is probably one of the biggest differences between men and women, that process on how we make choices,every single day. The media, and advertising knows this, and it's apparant based upon commercials. Take a car commercial for example, a truck commercial aiming at men will describe payloads, horse power, show functionality, toughness...yet a car commecial aimed at women, will be airy fluffy, based upon bringing out the right emotions, and feelings. A feel good commercial if you will.

 

The process that we go through to make decisions affects all walks of our lives...and utmost, our relationships with each other.

 

To break this down into a simple 3 step process, The decision making for men is to 1) Think 2) Act 3) Feel. The process for women is the invertion of this...1) Feel 2) Act 3) Think.

 

Take buying a home for example.

 

Step 1 for men (think): Is the home priced right? Is there a good sized garage? Is it in the right neighborhood..etc

 

Step 1 for women (feel): I love how the home has a lot of light...the flowers on the porch are beautiful, look how clean the kitchen and bathroom is..etc.

 

Step 2 for both men/women (ACT): Actually buying the home.

 

Step 3 for men (feel): This is definitely the right house, I really feel at home here, etc..

 

Step 3 for women (think): Hmmm..I wonder if this closet is large enough now that I have all my clothes in it. Are the neighbors friendly? Maybe we need a new refrigerator...etc.

 

Now take this process on how it escalates to sexual encounters...

 

Step 1 for men (think): Man, she's hot. I think I'm going to meet her, see if we click. I wonder if she has kids, or if she's single...I'm going to go find out.

 

Step 1 for women (feel): This guy's smile makes me so happy, he's funny, I get goosebumps around him, when he touches me...etc. He's so amazing..

 

Step 2 for both (act): sex.

 

Step 3 for men (feel): Man that felt great..or not so great, etc..

 

Step 3 for women (think): I wonder if I should tell my friends, does he have a good job. Maybe we should have waited a bit, but I really like him. Etc..

 

The most important point..is how women backward rationalize their decisions, step 3. They feel first, then act, then think about their actions afterwards, and based upon their thoughts, they are either happy or not happy with that decision. If they are not happy, they seek ways to justify why they did what they did.

 

Anyhow, this is just something that I've found amusing, to say.

[Babooshka]

Hmmm. Not sure that I agree with that. I always think before I act, know plenty of other women who do the same, and I'm sure there are plenty of men out there who don't think before they act. Generalizing about how any one group of people thinks is hardly ever accurate.

[Posi]

Hmmm. Not sure that I agree with that. I always think before I act, know plenty of other women who do the same, and I'm sure there are plenty of men out there who don't think before they act. Generalizing about how any one group of people thinks is hardly ever accurate.

 

True, testosterone levels vary per person, so do the estrogen levels in women..my theory, is that testosterone levels are linked into decision making, in a way of thinking, before acting. Whereas estrogen levels, are more linked to emotions, and feeling, then acting upon those feelings.

 

There's no right or wrong, just differences.

 

Just a theory I happen to believe in though..

[You Go Girl]

I THINK you're sexist.

I'm acting on that and posting this.

Emotionally, I feel pretty much nothing right now about you.

[Posi]

I THINK you're sexist.

I'm acting on that and posting this.

Emotionally, I feel pretty much nothing right now about you.

 

This post is a perfect example of what I'm talking about....

 

My post made you feel something, then you acted on those feelings posting calling me a sexist. Your post has no point other than displaying overboard emotions.

 

I am not a sexist, I am a realist. Pointing out differences about how men and women interact, is not sexism.

 

For healthy relationships, our differences should be embraced! The world would be very boring if men and women were the same.

[sally4sara]

What I'm getting from the OP is that they FEEL the way some women go about making a decision to be a less rational route, so the OP acts on those feelings by invalidating the motivations of one gender while supporting the motivations of the other (their own) gender. Then rationalizes his act by saying he really like the differences he just invalidated because it would be boring otherwise but he ignores how his musings allow him to fancy his own thought processes to be more sound.

 

Since you cannot be inside anyone's head while they consider any act, you cannot know all of the things that motivate them. You only know the stereotypes we look to for the comedic aspect of discussing gender differences.

Testosterone is an action hormone. It is linked to aggression, status seeking and snap judgments, not reason.

Estrogen is an emotion hormone. It is linked to empathy, communication, and familial bonding, not irrationality.

Both can diminish rational thought under certain levels and situations. The rest is experience and intelligence.

[Posi]

Testosterone is an action hormone. It is linked to aggression, status seeking and snap judgments, not reason.

Estrogen is an emotion hormone. It is linked to empathy, communication, and familial bonding, not irrationality.

Both can diminish rational thought under certain levels and situations. The rest is experience and intelligence.

 

You agree with me that testosterone levels and estrogen levels affect decision making, but you are contradicting yourself.

 

Your promote estogen as good, but for some reason believe that estrogen based emotional decision making is bad. Maybe some feel - act - think decisions are actually good decisions.

 

Furthermore, normal high testosterone levels in men lead to confidence, clear thinking, making good judgements in emotional situations. Anger, which leads to aggression is afterall an emotion that both sexes equally share, regardless of testosterone levels.

Edited June 7, 2010 by Posi

[sally4sara]

You agree with me that testosterone levels and estrogen levels affect decision making, but you are contradicting yourself.

 

Your promote estogen as good, but for some reason believe that estrogen based emotional decision making is bad. Maybe some feel - act - think decisions are actually good decisions.

 

Furthermore, normal high testosterone levels in men lead to confidence, clear thinking, making good judgements in emotional situations. Anger, which leads to aggression is afterall an emotion that both sexes equally share, regardless of testosterone levels.

 

Teenage and early twenties is when men have their highest level of testosterone. And WOW are young men just the picture of clear thinking and using sound judgment! So logical how they will decide some guy is looking at them wrong and pick a fight. And the show Jackass is the epitome of good judgment!

No this is an example of how that particular hormone diminishes the attributes you WANT to associate with it. Men get older, the levels drop. Men get older, their life experiences add to their intelligence and THEN they can think more clearly despite testosterone. They figure out how to direct the way it influences their thoughts.

And steroids, AKA synthetic testosterone causes a well known term - "roid rage". Also not linked with clear thinking or good judgments.

 

You want to believe what you posted to be true because it allows you to think of yourself in a better light with no effort on your part. You are not demonstrating clear thinking or good judgment. You are acting only on the status seeking aspect of the hormone you carry in larger quantities than a woman would. You are being HUMAN. It is human to look for ways to feel better about yourself and the easiest way is to compare yourself more flatteringly to whom you perceive to be your opposite form.

 

And example of that would be how I feel about dogs. I love dogs. We typically think of cats as being the opposite of dogs. I can come up with lots of attributes that help me put dogs is a better light than cats.

 

Another example:

Guy sees girlfriend smile at some other guy. He FEELS jealousy, he acts stupid about it, and then vocalizes his thoughts about why he did what he did when defending his actions. Both genders demonstrate stupidity due to their hormone levels at times. It easy to ignore personal motivation when dissecting the thought process of the opposite gender to enable one to show them in a poor light. That is all you accomplished with your post. How about you stop looking for the easy route?

[ADF]

The idea that male and female cognitive prcoesses are fundamentally different has been WAY overblown. As research into this area expands, what we're finding out is that men and women reason in ways that are remarkably SIMILAR, not remarkably different.

 

Of course, you probably wouldn't know that from reading the popular press. The non-scientific press has so totally bought into the men-are-from-mars/women-are-from-venus view that they often repeat it even when reporting on evidence that basically disproves it.

 

Back in 1995, researchers at Yale had 19 men and 19 women complete 4 complex cognitive tasks. Brains scans showed that on 1 task--determining whether nonsense words rhymed--11 of the 19 women used different parts of their brains than the men. In every other way, all 19 of the men and all 19 of the women used the same parts of their brains to do the same things. In other words, the study showed men and women mostly think alike, not differently.

 

But when the New York Times reported on the study, what do you think their headline was? It read, "Men and Women Use Brain Differently, Study Finds." That is NOT what the study found. Yet the idea that men and women think different is so burned into people's brains, they can't get past it.

[SarahRose]

OP Do you even know any women that you talk to on a regular basis?

[carhill]

OP, do you know any emotionally stable women who you talk to on a regular basis?

 

Nice theory, but I doubt you'll get much if any validation of it on this pink site. Using your theory, what is your opinion of the oft-repeated differences between what women *say* they *want* and what they're *attracted* to? E.g., the woman who *says* she hates drama but is *attracted* to bad boys/risk takers/Charles Manson clones. How do they process that? Also, examine the interrelationship of the dynamic within those men. How do those men interface with life? Do they think first and in a rational manner? What rules them? Interesting

[Posi]

Another example:

Guy sees girlfriend smile at some other guy. He FEELS jealousy, he acts stupid about it, and then vocalizes his thoughts about why he did what he did when defending his actions. Both genders demonstrate stupidity due to their hormone levels at times. It easy to ignore personal motivation when dissecting the thought process of the opposite gender to enable one to show them in a poor light. That is all you accomplished with your post. How about you stop looking for the easy route?

 

Your example of a guy getting jealous and acting on it, is a feel -act - think decision, it's a low testosterone male who acts that way.

 

I am not looking for an easy way out, nor painting the opposite gender in a bad light. In fact, I'm looking at the tough route. The fact that life, is not all sunshine and rainbows.

 

I do appreciate your insight in this thread though Sally, well thought out post.

 

Look at it from this angle. High testosterone is not the problem, but the solution for men. Men with low testosterone lack energy, are irritable, have mood swings, etc..all highly emotionally based wrecks. Men with normal healthy high testosterone, are confident, happy, energetic, willingly tackle the problems in life in stride.

 

Yes, high testosterone mixed with a bad person, leads to bad things. IE prison life, etc. Also, unhealthy high levels such as roids causes problems too. There is bad people in this world, both men and women.

 

I look at it this way, it's not testosterone that makes the man, it's the man, that makes the testosterone.

 

And the same goes for women and estrogen levels, there world would be a horrible place if a lot of feel -act-think decisions didn't occur...such as school teaching as a career, taking care of the elderly, volunteering in haiti after the earthquake, ect. All excellent decisions, decisions made by emotions first and foremost.

 

It's a balancing act, the high testosterone man is best matched with the most feminine woman. The most androgonous man is best matched with the most androgonous woman.

[Posi]

Nice theory, but I doubt you'll get much if any validation of it on this pink site. Using your theory, what is your opinion of the oft-repeated differences between what women *say* they *want* and what they're *attracted* to? E.g., the woman who *says* she hates drama but is *attracted* to bad boys/risk takers/Charles Manson clones. How do they process that? Also, examine the interrelationship of the dynamic within those men. How do those men interface with life? Do they think first and in a rational manner? What rules them? Interesting

 

Exactly, women can say they want all they want.. it's their actions that matter. Attraction is not a choice, it's biological. Women are attracted to testosterone. Their actions prove this.

 

I've been on both ends of the spectrim, the woman who makes you wait for 3 dates is the same woman who would have sex with a guy she just met in a club. Which guy was she more into? Her actions show the guy in the club. Not because it's rational, but a feelings first based decision.

 

The best thing men can do, is make sure their T levels are as high as they, as individual men, can be. Then, they will think clearly and make think - act - feel decisions...regarding the women they choose to be in their lives.

 

It all works out from there, as nature intented.

 

Also, regarding how the criminals interface with life, they are just bad people to begin with.

Edited June 7, 2010 by Posi

[sally4sara]

Your example of a guy getting jealous and acting on it, is a feel -act - think decision, it's a low testosterone male who acts that way.

 

I am not looking for an easy way out, nor painting the opposite gender in a bad light. In fact, I'm looking at the tough route. The fact that life, is not all sunshine and rainbows.

 

I do appreciate your insight in this thread though Sally, well thought out post.

 

Look at it from this angle. High testosterone is not the problem, but the solution for men. Men with low testosterone lack energy, are irritable, have mood swings, etc..all highly emotionally based wrecks. Men with normal healthy high testosterone, are confident, happy, energetic, willingly tackle the problems in life in stride.

 

Yes, high testosterone mixed with a bad person, leads to bad things. IE prison life, etc. Also, unhealthy high levels such as roids causes problems too. There is bad people in this world, both men and women.

 

I look at it this way, it's not testosterone that makes the man, it's the man, that makes the testosterone.

 

And the same goes for women and estrogen levels, there world would be a horrible place if a lot of feel -act-think decisions didn't occur...such as school teaching as a career, taking care of the elderly, volunteering in haiti after the earthquake, ect. All excellent decisions, decisions made by emotions first and foremost.

 

It's a balancing act, the high testosterone man is best matched with the most feminine woman. The most androgonous man is best matched with the most androgonous woman.

 

You're painting a picture that is not based on facts. Some people are just more rational than others even outside of hormonal levels. Some people are more intelligent so when they are dealing with hormonal fluctuations, they do not react as irrationally as a less intelligent person might.

And if someone is very rational - their best partner will not be someone who is highly irrational.

 

If high levels of testosterone lead to clear thinking, happiness and excellent decision making ability - why are young men so prone to a lacking of these things when their testosterone levels are the highest they will experience naturally? They act before thinking, are inexplicably angst ridden, more likely to lash out in uncontrolled anger, and think as a self-centric person would. It is all about them.

 

When women are at their highest levels of estrogen, they are not more feminine, just more likely to get overly emotional and unable to keep their immaturity in check. And since estrogen is linked to familial bonding and empathy, they should be less likely to fight with their parents and consider the feelings of others when that hormone is at its highest levels. They are not this way. They are more likely to be selfish, narcissistic, mean spirited and less able to communicate their thoughts and feelings. It is all about them.

 

This suggests that the things we attribute these two chemicals with to be based on faulty logic. I merely suggest it to be wiser to not look at the two genders with a faulty scope and misplaced reasoning. It is best to not assume a person's gender will bring X, Y, or Z actions and instead, see each new person as an individual with their own abilities that may or may not match with the stunted stereotype we use when we are just too lazy for deductive reasoning. What you are doing is demonstrating how faulty inductive reasoning really is and running with it because it allows you to think highly of yourself. Of course you want to think you have some chemical running inside you that makes your logic sound. But you're just being lazy.

 

Testosterone and estrogen do cause differences in men and women, but by and large, those differences are physical rather than emotional.

[Posi]

Sally, you are agreeing with me without realizing it. It's not faulty logic.

 

Take the analogy of a simple glass of water. The goal for both men and women, is to fill that glass to the top, testosterone and estrogen, respectively. Each of us has a different size glass, based upon genetics.

 

Growing up, that glass starts empty, but fills quickly, so quickly that it overflows. Young men unable to handle their testosterone levels, young women unable to handle estrogen. When that glass overfills things get out of wack..

 

Is it the water's fault, or the fact that it just overflowed?

 

I'm saying don't blame the water. Men and women, to be healthy, need their glasses full.

 

However, there's pressure in society that a full glass is not acceptable.

 

When your glass is full, you attract the opposite sex to your full potential. You are full of happiness, energy, clear thinking, etc. Balanced, as nature biologicaly intended you to be.

[sally4sara]

Sally, you are agreeing with me without realizing it. It's not faulty logic.

 

Take the analogy of a simple glass of water. The goal for both men and women, is to fill that glass to the top, testosterone and estrogen, respectively. Each of us has a different size glass, based upon genetics.

 

Growing up, that glass starts empty, but fills quickly, so quickly that it overflows. Young men unable to handle their testosterone levels, young women unable to handle estrogen. When that glass overfills things get out of wack..

 

Is it the water's fault, or the fact that it just overflowed?

 

I'm saying don't blame the water. Men and women, to be healthy, need their glasses full.

 

However, there's pressure in society that a full glass is not acceptable.

 

When your glass is full, you attract the opposite sex to your full potential. You are full of happiness, energy, clear thinking, etc. Balanced, as nature biologicaly intended you to be.

 

No Posi, you are only reading it while not taking in what I'm saying and assuming it is the same. The glass is not empty because they are not without hormones at any point in their development.

The simple point is that it doesn't matter what level of either hormone a person is dealing with, it is their individual personalities that rule how they respond to those fluctuations. You continue to ignore the fact that when men and women are at their highest natural levels of their respective hormones, they do not often exhibit the behaviors you (and many others) want to associate with their hormones. Thus nullifying your lazy conclusion.

 

And to that end - I finish with you. I grow impatient with irrational thought.

[Posi]

You continue to ignore the fact that when men and women are at their highest natural levels of their respective hormones, they do not often exhibit the behaviors you (and many others) want to associate with their hormones..

 

My whole point is that this is not a fact, it's completely wrong.

 

The fact is women base their decisions on emotions all the time. Our economy is 70% consumption based, and women make up 75% of that. Explain commercials aiming at products for women using feel good emotions? Explain soap operas? Explain how women divorce men, then 'logically' think it's fair to take as much as they can in divorce court?

 

Women, bless their souls, don't even have to take responsibility for their actions anymore. There's always an 'outside' reason for why they do what they do.

 

Calling me lazy or irrational, or any other shaming tactic, is not going to change reality.

 

But you are right, we'll never see eye to eye, so no point in taking this any further.

[Els]

I think the decision making process is probably one of the biggest differences between men and women, that process on how we make choices,every single day. The media, and advertising knows this, and it's apparant based upon commercials. Take a car commercial for example, a truck commercial aiming at men will describe payloads, horse power, show functionality, toughness...yet a car commecial aimed at women, will be airy fluffy, based upon bringing out the right emotions, and feelings. A feel good commercial if you will.

 

This is possible - although IMO ads always act on emotions, whether you realize it or not. The difference is that different emotions are appealed to with men and women. The ad for the latest superbike will aim to make a man feel macho, powerful, superior, for example. And yes, ads aimed at women aim to make them 'feel good'.

 

Step 1 for men (think): Is the home priced right? Is there a good sized garage? Is it in the right neighborhood..etc

 

Step 1 for women (feel): I love how the home has a lot of light...the flowers on the porch are beautiful, look how clean the kitchen and bathroom is..etc.

 

Now this, is downright dumb. No, I'm not saying that just because I'm a woman. Trust me, invert the genders and repost on another thread, and you will get men saying the exact same thing. Anyone who puts 'beautiful flowers' and 'clean kitchen' in their first line of thought when considering a house deserves to be shot. Anyone who actually buys it solely BECAUSE of that deserves to be shot, revived, and shot again. If women truly followed this line of action, there would be far more broke women than broke men. This is hardly true.

 

Step 1 for men (think): Man, she's hot. I think I'm going to meet her, see if we click. I wonder if she has kids, or if she's single...I'm going to go find out.

 

Step 1 for women (feel): This guy's smile makes me so happy, he's funny, I get goosebumps around him, when he touches me...etc. He's so amazing..

 

Step 2 for both (act): sex.

 

Step 3 for men (feel): Man that felt great..or not so great, etc..

 

Step 3 for women (think): I wonder if I should tell my friends, does he have a good job. Maybe we should have waited a bit, but I really like him. Etc..

 

Now, this is possibly true. Women are much more emotional in the field of relationships, although some may beg to differ. It is not so much a 'woman' thing than a 'woman in relationships' thing. This includes family, children, friends, and spouses.

 

The most important point..is how women backward rationalize their decisions, step 3. They feel first, then act, then think about their actions afterwards, and based upon their thoughts, they are either happy or not happy with that decision. If they are not happy, they seek ways to justify why they did what they did.

 

This, however, leads me to think that I need not have bothered answering the first few paragraphs, as it is evident that you feel hurt by something a woman did to you in your past and tried to justify, which led to this entire nonsensical post.

 

Anyhow, this is just something that I've found amusing, to say.

 

Glad we agree on this at least!

[Stung]

First, you have a hypothesis, not a theory.

 

Second, your hypothesis is pretty much based on your own pretty pink feelings and is in no way scientifically sound.

 

Third, if you have ever actually met a woman silly enough to buy a house based on how clean the bathroom is please be assured she is functionally deficient and hardly representative of the gender. It has been my experience and observation that women tend to be concerned with things like how much a house costs and what school district the neighborhood is in before they plunk down their life savings and tie themselves to a mortgage.

[sally4sara]

For healthy relationships, our differences should be embraced!

 

Oh really?

 

But then the 'outside' reason behind your post comes out:

 

Explain how women divorce men, then 'logically' think it's fair to take as much as they can in divorce court?

 

Women, bless their souls, don't even have to take responsibility for their actions anymore. There's always an 'outside' reason for why they do what they do.

 

Well you've found the right site for your views. We got a largish group of misogynistic men who start off posts trying their best to sound rational only to let the crazy come spilling out when people target the holes in their "theory".

 

Welcome, welcome, welcome! :lmao:

[Posi]

Well you've found the right site for your views. We got a largish group of misogynistic men who start off posts trying their best to sound rational only to let the crazy come spilling out when people target the holes in their "theory".

 

Welcome, welcome, welcome! :lmao:

 

No worries Sally..I don't plan on spending time on this forum. However, you should really think about how you throw around terms to attack other posters...such as calling them 'misogynists'.

 

A misogynist, in your mind, is anyone who doesn't agree with you. Using terms like that, or sexist, is an underhanded way of promoting your opinions while shaming other opinions into silence.

 

It's obvious the goal, for you and others, is for everyone to agree and have group hugs.

 

I, personally, enjoy spending time with women. I understand them, and I accept their faults, and also accept my own faults as well.

[sally4sara]

No worries Sally..I don't plan on spending time on this forum. However, you should really think about how you throw around terms to attack other posters...such as calling them 'misogynists'.

 

A misogynist, in your mind, is anyone who doesn't agree with you. Using terms like that, or sexist, is an underhanded way of promoting your opinions while shaming other opinions into silence.

 

It's obvious the goal, for you and others, is for everyone to agree and have group hugs.

 

I, personally, enjoy spending time with women. I understand them, and I accept their faults, and also accept my own faults as well.

 

No, misogynists are anyone who paints the female gender with negativity and baseless lies while believing their skewed opinions to be facts. They are people who, even as they believe they are trying to be objective, still look for ways to look down on the female gender while regurgitating lies that help them idealize the male gender. A misogynist need not be male. They need only not apply the overly critical observation they lend the female gender to the male gender. You do this. You assume much and invalidate lazily observed behaviors. You ignore biological fact. If you wanted to make a sound point, I can think of no other motivation for you to ignore facts in your attempt other than because you have a hateful and EMOTIONAL reason to hold women in a poor light.

 

More simply put, I don't think your intent was to highlight you lack of education, but you did so because you were THAT intent on expressing a negative view of women as a whole. If not, you'd have put in some solid research before posting on the subject. THIS is what makes you a misogynist.

 

No one on this site will be helped with uneducated opinion. In fact, the opposite is more likely. If all I needed to identify a misogynist was a person who disagreed with me, I would be end up calling many, many people (even some I like tremendously) misogynist. So your assertion that I have called you one for your differing opinion is just another one of your lazy observations. Do you think you might get around to trying a bit harder at critical thinking soon?

[jthorne]

Don't agree, sorry. I'm more Think, Feel, Act, or Think, Act, Feel. But I do know there are women who are all about feelings and are Feel, Feel, Act, Feel, Think. A few of them are here on LS unable to figure out why things are going so wrong...

[Posi]

Do you think you might get around to trying a bit harder at critical thinking soon?

 

Sally, I will say this, you are obviously very intelligent, and I would assume older with more life experience. I will also say, you make a lot of accusing assumptions about me that are truly false. I have no hate, nor any ill will towards women. I think women have a tougher road in life than men.

 

I will say though, that as a single man, I have experienced life in a completely different way than you have. I have experience as well, and a have dated many women. I enjoy being single and I enjoy meeting new people.

 

I also see a pattern that disturbs me...there is a lot, striking high amount, of very unhappy women. I belief our culture tries to keep women down by pushing a sense of entitlement onto them, in a manner if taking the blame away from themselves, and onto others.

 

Women are taught, that life happens to them, life will come to them, they are entitled great things without having to work for them. If they look young and beautiful, that's fine, but what about when the looks fade over the years?

 

Why do you think we have a 50% divorce rate, with women initiating over 75% of divorces? You can research this yourself.

 

Why do you think that in every American guy's email inbox contains massive amounts of russian bride sites, or meet latin women sites? Yes, we know they are scams, but they still exist for a reason. They make money becuase a lot of men end up bitter at american women and get suckered into it. (myself NOT included)

 

Why on the other hand, are their no sites for foreign men to import american women?

 

Men, are taught to 'man up' own whatever challenges life throws at them, and push to succeed.

 

Men know, that in order to succeed with women fame is #1. Very obvious with women's reactions to American Idol contestants.. Then power, money, etc. He has two choices, improve his life so he can attract a quality mate, shut up and take action.

 

Or, option 2 is to lie. Personally, I am about option 1, leading a life of integrity. But, I once asked a guy who lies through his teeth and impresses a lot of women, I ask him "why?". His answer..."it's because it's what women want to hear. It works." How can you argue with his success?

 

Do you think the women rewarding his behavior will change it?

 

See, this is why life is tougher on women then men. The path for men is clear...better our lives continuously.

 

In any social situation, bar, party. 90% of the single women are vying for the attention of 10% of the men. It's obvious for men, if they want to impress women, work hard, become part of that top 10%

 

The path for women is to wait for life to come to them. Afterall, it's entitled. And, often, they meet guys like I just gave example. After years of guys like that impressing them, they become bitter, their biological clock starts showing, and they are unhappy with what life has offered them.

 

It's apparant in online dating. Check out women's profiles, it's all about what they want in a men, much less about what they can offer a man. There are tons of single women around with so much emotional baggage, it's pathetic. It needs to be changed.

 

Men's profiles are the opposite, more about their achievements, a little about what they are looking for.

 

I know this applies not to ALL women, but I've noticed it more and more. The older I get, the more life gets better. It's too bad it's not the same for women often times.

 

There's a serious imbalance in our social culture, western culture. I am well travelled and can honestly say, women in general are much happier in other counties, than in our own.

Edited June 8, 2010 by Posi

[sally4sara]

Sally, I will say this, you are obviously very intelligent, and I would assume older with more life experience.

 

I will say though, that as a single man, I have experienced life in a completely different way than you have. I have experience as well, and a have dated many women. I enjoy being single and I enjoy meeting new people.

 

And you list all the thoughts of a single man's complaint about having not been chosen as a life mate. I could make a song about these points you make; it is that common on here. Here, where most people are not content with their life's circumstance. Ever consider it is this pattern of thought that acts as a stumbling block?

 

I also see a pattern that disturbs me...there is a lot, striking high amount, of very unhappy women. I belief our culture tries to keep women down by pushing a sense of entitlement onto them, in a manner if taking the blame away from themselves, and onto others.

 

Women are taught, that life happens to them, life will come to them, they are entitled great things without having to work for them. If they look young and beautiful, that's fine, but what about when the looks fade over the years?

 

I see these same things in young adults of both genders. Take a peek around here. You will find quite a few young men frustrated because they feel entitled to a particular kind of woman, a particular manner of sexual satisfaction, and a particular kind of life with little to no thought as to what they should do to achieve or earn it or any concern with the woman's enjoyment of participating.

As for why some women seem to think life is something that will happen to them or come their way? I suspect it is the last echos of previous generations where women had many limits on their choices and little acceptance of stepping out of those circumstances. This is my opinion as there is really no way of researching it to a solid conclusion.

Add to that, we live, by comparison to some other countries, a life of excess and instant gratification. No wonder our young men and women feel entitled.

 

Why do you think we have a 50% divorce rate, with women initiating over 75% of divorces? You can research this yourself.

 

I have a large law practice in the family. After having had this statistic tossed around on here so often, I grew curious enough to ask.

Why do women more commonly file for divorce? Here is what I was told by the three divorce lawyers employed in the practice as well as some others I've met socially.

Women file more often because of a double standard. While their husbands may not want everyone to know they have a mistress because of the potential blemish on their character, and they may or may not be concerned with the financial aspect of a divorce, it does not in any way mean that men do not want free of their marriage as often as women.

The person who files is the one to have to start coming out of pocket for legal fees FIRST. In many instances, men will goad and incite their spouse into the action to avoid looking like the bad guy to others. It gives them the ability to appear the pitied victim. Where as if the husband files first, yeah he might look like the bad guy, but the wife gets the burn by looking cast aside. She will be seen either as having passed her sexual appeal and discarded for a better model or as an unrepentant shrew who ran her husband off.

When they find reason to believe their husband has a foot out the door, they more often file first to avoid being the dumpee.

Beyond that and to the 50% divorce rate? See above where I speak of the reasons for a sense of entitlement found in young people of any gender in this and other wealthy countries.

 

Why do you think that in every American guy's email inbox contains massive amounts of russian bride sites, or meet latin women sites?

Why on the other hand, are their no sites for foreign men to import american women?

 

This one is pretty easy too. The regions these women come from are less wealthy. In other instances, they are also more dangerous and crime ridden. This causes a shortage of eligible men. The women look elsewhere. The sites make money off of acting as matchmaker. Of course they will advertise where the money resides. And for someone who claims to be well traveled, I find it funny that you think these same sites DON'T advertise in other wealthy countries. They do. It is not just an American trend.

There are no sites (if there are indeed NO sites) for foreign men to find U.S. brides for two reasons.

1) America is a wealthy country. Should this change, you will find this changes too.

2) For someone to be comfortable with the idea of purchasing another human being, they need to BE AN ENTITLED ASS and they will be more likely to buy into the idea of oohlala submissive foreign women. America has the tag line of "land of the free", why would anyone think we have an excess of women comfortable with being sold as slaves?

 

Men, are taught to 'man up' own whatever challenges life throws at them, and push to succeed.

 

Men know, that in order to succeed with women fame is #1. Then power, money, etc. He has two choices, improve his life so he can attract a quality mate, shut up and take action.

 

Or, option 2 is to lie. Personally, I am about option 1, leading a life of integrity. But, I once asked a guy who lies through his teeth and impresses a lot of women, I ask him "why?". His answer..."it's because it's what women want to hear. It works." How can you argue with his success?

 

Do you think the women rewarding his behavior will change it?

 

See, this is why life is tougher on women then men. The path for men is clear...better our lives continuously.

 

I any social situation, bar, party. 90% of the single women are vying for the attention of 10% of the men. It's obvious for men, if they want to impress women, work hard, become part of that top 10%

 

The path for women is to wait for life to come to them. Afterall, it's entitled. And, often, they meet guys like I just gave example. After years of guys like that impressing them, they become bitter, their biological clock starts showing, and they are unhappy with what life has offered them.

 

I am not going to bother arguing these points as they do not always play out as you describe. I will just write them off as being part of you running on your limited scope rather than recognizing more subtle social nuances. I've stated before that you do not live in other people's heads and can't possibly know the motivations of people you do not know intimately. I can only say that what you describe is foreign to me.

 

It's apparant in online dating. Check out women's profiles, it's all about what they want in a men, much less about what they can offer a man.

Men's profiles are more about their achievements, a little about what they are looking for.

 

These two observations answer themselves. If men are listing their achievements more than what they are looking for, women will, in turn, list less of what they offer and focus on what manner of achievements a man should have to be considered desirous to them. If the two genders did the opposite, you'd be asking why all women do on a dating site is boastfully talk of what they offer, while focusing less on the kind of man they will spread their legs for.

The other aspect is the way we don't allow men much acceptance for seeking quality of character over sexual attribute in their partners. If we stopped thinking all men are barely controlled sex fiends and lauding them for compliant action to that expectation, we might see a change in this as well.

 

I know this applies not to ALL women, but I've noticed it more and more. The older I get, the more life gets better. It's too bad it's not the same for women often times.

 

There's a serious imbalance in our social culture, western culture. I am well travelled and can honestly say, women are much happier in other counties, than in our own.

 

And this is me :lmao::lmao: once again laughing at your assertion of being a well traveled person. If it were true, we'd have zero immigration issues.