auntvamp Posted June 6, 2010 Posted June 6, 2010 Hello everyone, I have been with my husband for 22 years,first living together for 9 years and having a child.When my daughter was 5 we married. He has left me 5 times in those years before we married.Just recently he left again,the first since we've been married, with a friend of ours.I had no idea the affair was going on.I think it is a pattern with him,the women he leaves me for are always mean and nasty.I on the other hand am a good person.It's like he tires of the good girl and wants a bad one.He has some problems which I think has affected him.He has never known his biological father,his mother won't tell him. He found out by accident that his step father wasn't his real father at age 16 and from then on he was in trouble with drugs.He always says the same thing,I don't love you,I love her,I need to be with her. Then after a while he tires of the bad girl and wants me back and of course I've taken him back every time,but he hasn't come back this time...yet. It's only been 2 weeks since he left.Our daughter is 17 now and really upset.She can't understand why her dad did this to us.She still talks to him and sees him.We have an appointment with a counselor next week to try and figure out why he does this to me. He said he would go with us,but I don't know if I can get over this one. It hurts me to see him,but he comes running if we call and need something.I think he does that because he feels guilty for leaving our daughter. He is still paying the bills because I have only a part time job.Any advice?
hopesndreams Posted June 6, 2010 Posted June 6, 2010 File for D. Why exactly are you with this loser? I think your daughter might be more upset by the fact that you allow her father to treat you like garbage.
You Go Girl Posted June 6, 2010 Posted June 6, 2010 Wow do you have the power of forgivance. I could never forgive somebody that many times. How do you do it? Why do you do it? Tell us how much self-esteem you have.
Author auntvamp Posted June 6, 2010 Author Posted June 6, 2010 Wow do you have the power of forgivance. I could never forgive somebody that many times. How do you do it? Why do you do it? Tell us how much self-esteem you have. Yes I do forgive easily.I always have with anyone. I don't know why I do it that's why I'm going to talk to a counselor to see why I keep letting him do this to me. I have very high self esteem. That's what I don't understand.
Author auntvamp Posted June 6, 2010 Author Posted June 6, 2010 File for D. Why exactly are you with this loser? I think your daughter might be more upset by the fact that you allow her father to treat you like garbage. My daughter was too young the last 4 times,but this time she saw everything.From this day forward he will no longer treat me like garbage. I will stand up for myself and my daughter.
hopesndreams Posted June 6, 2010 Posted June 6, 2010 That's good auntvamp. Just remember, she is looking to you for guidance, you're her role model and you are setting the example.
BB07 Posted June 6, 2010 Posted June 6, 2010 You are your daughter's protector and keeper.....please don't forget that. I'm 49 years old and I have many scars from what I experienced in my childhood. My father was a serial cheater, who turned into an abusive alcoholic. Things would have been hard and I wouldn't have came through it unscathed, but the scars wouldn't have been near as deep nor so long lasting if my mother had done a better job of protecting me and my brothers. (Translation......throwing his sorry ass out and keeping him away from us instead of years of going back and forth between him and her.) Don't do this to your daughter.....please.
Recommended Posts