What is with women and height?

[kungfudude]

So, I simply need to vent. I am new to online dating and using Match for the first time. What is with women and height?

 

Let me set the stage, I am 5'8" and stay in very good physically condition. However, not being 6'0" or taller seems to strike me with a lot of women.

 

I understand we all have preferences and I have them as well. But what is with a women 5'0" to 5'2" and insisting upon a man who is 6'0" or taller. From being on match for a month or so, it is pretty consistent.

 

So, to all the women out there, whats up with that?L

[fit]

Im a dude and I m 6'3'' but I have girlfriends who I have discussed this with extensively. My one single friend who is divorced will absolutely not date a guy under 5'11. No matter what he looks like, how fit he is, how much money he makes etc. She is 5'7'' and attractive and I guess short to her = unattractive.

She always says she wants to feel like she is with an adult, not a kid.

My take ? I think if she met a nice guy who was 5'9'' and was a friend and she really liked him it eventually wouldn't matter. She would certainly initially reject him---but eventually it wouldn't matter. Of course she will deny this all day long...lol. This is very much like a guy who only likes blondes, until he meets a hot brunette.

[Serenitynow]

I am 5'8" and stay in very good physically condition

I am just like you, with appearance and lack of dating.

 

Very few women will admit to it but they like taller, or bigger guys because they want to feel protected.

 

Women that I have had relationships with were the types that are confident, real women, that throw all the cliched crap to the side, and were with me because of how I treated them.

 

 

I just emailed a ton of women on the dating site just as a way to stir the pot and see what happens. Many of the women 10 mins away from me NEVER even looked at my profile until I sent the email. And most of them replied, "You're a good looking guy, why have you had such bad luck on here ?" I guarantee most of them had their search preferances set for taller guys. I tried asking them, but of course women rarely ever admit what they are thinking so I knew it was a waste of time.

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[stillafool]

Im a dude and I m 6'3'' but I have girlfriends who I have discussed this with extensively. My one single friend who is divorced will absolutely not date a guy under 5'11. No matter what he looks like, how fit he is, how much money he makes etc. She is 5'7'' and attractive and I guess short to her = unattractive.

She always says she wants to feel like she is with an adult, not a kid.

My take ? I think if she met a nice guy who was 5'9'' and was a friend and she really liked him it eventually wouldn't matter. She would certainly initially reject him---but eventually it wouldn't matter. Of course she will deny this all day long...lol. This is very much like a guy who only likes blondes, until he meets a hot brunette.

 

 

I can understand at 5'7 she would want a taller guy. I am 5'6 and with heels that puts me at 5'9. But, women who are 4'11, 5', etc. I don't understand what the problem is with dating a guy 5'8.

[Disillusioned]

I never bought the idea that women are attracted to taller men, and I speak as a man who has been 6'6" since I was a teenager. The only thing near to attraction women have had to me, is curiosity---oh wow, a token giant!---but to have a friendly relationship with a giant??? Oh, puh-LEEZE. One of the reasons why I lost interest in Asian women is because so many of them just wanted a giant for his token value; black women have never done this, so I'm ok with them.

 

I get the cross-eyed stare all the time in public (I've actually seen people bump into poles because they were staring at me)... and it's always that same dumb damn Yogi-bear look. They expect giants to be stupid, because they probably read Of Mice And Men, so they are put off when they find out I wrote a sci-fi novel.

 

Apparently, giants who can't play basketball are totally useless and need to be taken out and shot. When some average dummy asks me "do you play basketball?" I just shoot right back with "do YOU race horses?" Blunts 'em every time. When they ask me "how tall are you?" I tell them that if they really want to know, they have to get on their knees and beg.

[ADF]

You might as well ask, "what is it with men and weight?"

 

For men, the number one obession is a woman's weight. You can read plenty of posts on here by men who meet pretty, charming, warm, witty women who they won't date because they are a few pounds too heavy. In my opinion, many of these men would date these women except for their fear of ridicule. They believe their freinds would laugh at them behind their backs for dating a "fat" woman, or gossip about how the "settled."

 

Well, with women it is height. For many women, any man below a certain height is just written off as unacceptable. None of his other qualities matter if he isn't at least 5'10, or 6', or whatever the minimum requirement is. And I would argue that, like men, these woman often fear being laughed at for dating a "short" man.

[Pyro]

There are far too many women out there for this to be an issue to you. I am the exact same height as you and this has never bothered me. I used match years ago and combined with that and real world experiences I couldn't even tell you how many women were not interested in me because of my height. I couldn't care less because like I said.....plenty of women out there and not every one of them will find your height to be a turn off.

[Jersey Shortie]

Most women wouldn't have a problem with short men if he had true confidence in himself. I certainly don't. I never been attracted to a man just because he was tall. Although, I won't claim I never been attracted to very tall men even though I myself am short.

 

I mean this 110% guys. For most women, it matter less what you look like and more how you make her *feel*. The thing is, alot of men are clueless on how to draw out those very feminine responses out.

 

If you take the attitude "any woman 5'2 should be happy to have 5'8 me" , you are going to crash and burn. But if you engage a woman, show her what about you makes you *you*, draw out her feminity and make her *feel* things for you that she doesn't feel for other men, you will have success.

 

I know the short guys won't believe me but I believe this to be truth as a woman based on what other women have said and my own experiences.

 

Instead of asking why women don't like short men, start observing what women do like and how they respond, in public, your sisters, your mothers, really *learn* what women respond to and I bet you will have much more success.

[Serenitynow]

here are far too many women out there for this to be an issue to you

 

I agree that there are plenty of women that dont care.

 

But on the dating sites, you will see many many women specifically state in the profile they are looking for a taller guy, or a guy 6'0 or taller just like the OP stated.

 

And as far as overweight women. I dont need a women to be 5'5 100 lbs. But I like to do activities that require you to be energetic and healthy.

 

I know a lot of overweight women and many of them hate when its over 80 deg, they have to sit down and rest every 10 mins, they have a lackadaisical attitude towards anything that requires exerting effort and are mostly just plain lazy, hence the reason they are overweight.

[brainygirl]

I agree that there are plenty of women that dont care.

 

But on the dating sites, you will see many many women specifically state in the profile they are looking for a taller guy, or a guy 6'0 or taller just like the OP stated.

 

And as far as overweight women. I dont need a women to be 5'5 100 lbs. But I like to do activities that require you to be energetic and healthy.

 

I know a lot of overweight women and many of them hate when its over 80 deg, they have to sit down and rest every 10 mins, they have a lackadaisical attitude towards anything that requires exerting effort and are mostly just plain lazy, hence the reason they are overweight.

 

You know I was almost ready to sympathize with you . . . until the crack about overweight women being lazy.

 

guess what, I'm 5'2'' and I'm fat. Guess what else, I'm game for just about any out door activity except fishing (they smell bad). I'm not the fastest person out there, but I get out there. There are other factors than "laziness" that contribute to weight. In my case, I think its largely genetic.

 

That being said, I also don't have much trouble finding a date. Relationships are harder to find, but dates are easy.

 

Another thing, I've never filtered for height in men.

 

Again, I'd sympathize with you for being derided for something you can't change, but you seem to have missed an opportunity to learn some compassion. So I think I may sit here and laugh at you instead.

[ADF]

Most women wouldn't have a problem with short men if he had true confidence in himself.

 

Ugh. This is the kind of advice men get all the time--"be confident." What the heck does that mean, exactly?

 

No one, and I mean no one, can feel confident all the time. Anyone who struts around 24/7 like a peakcock exuding "confidence" is a phony.

 

Don't get me wrong. Confidence, in moderation, is a fine thing to possess. But people talk about confidence in the way New Age gurus talk about positive thinking. They talk about it as something which, if cultivated, can make miracles happen. It just isn't so.

 

On average, a man who stands 5'6" is going to have a smaller dating pool than a man who stands 6'2". That's just a fact. It doesn't mean he cannot find wonderful women who will accept him as he is. It just means he is going to have a harder time of it, and fewer choices. We shouldn't deny that.

[Pyro]

I agree that there are plenty of women that dont care.

 

But on the dating sites, you will see many many women specifically state in the profile they are looking for a taller guy, or a guy 6'0 or taller just like the OP stated.

 

Then things must've changed.

 

When I was on there I saw plenty where height wasn't an issue like that.

[Pyro]

Ugh. This is the kind of advice men get all the time--"be confident." What the heck does that mean, exactly?

 

On average, a man who stands 5'6" is going to have a smaller dating pool than a man who stands 6'2". That's just a fact. It doesn't mean he cannot find wonderful women who will accept him as he is. It just means he is going to have a harder time of it, and fewer choices. We shouldn't deny that.

 

believeing in yourself and your abilities and having the attitude that no one is better than you, and also not being afraid of failure. That is my take on confidence and yes you can be that way all the time IMO.

 

Big difference between confidence and arrogance.

 

That last part is correct. It comes down to feeling protected and the shorter end guys are going to have fewer choices.

Edited June 6, 2010 by Pyro

[PJKino]

I dont know but height seems to be pretty magical to women

 

While some say its bioligical i also think its part social..Women are told their whole lives from little girls about tall dark and handsome and SHORT fat and bald are synonymous with ugly guys....Plus lets be honest allot of women are slaves to what the media say is attractive thats why so many freak out with their weight becasue of skinny women they see on tv..

 

If their was a new tv show saying how hot short or average height guys are women would feel allot less conscious and jump on that bandwagon..

[ADF]

I dont know but height seems to be pretty magical to women

 

While some say its bioligical i also think its part social..Women are told their whole lives from little girls about tall dark and handsome and SHORT fat and bald are synonymous with ugly guys....Plus lets be honest allot of women are slaves to what the media say is attractive thats why so many freak out with their weight becasue of skinny women they see on tv..

 

If their was a new tv show saying how hot short or average height guys are women would feel allot less conscious and jump on that bandwagon..

 

I am going to reiterate something I said earlier.

 

As men, we shouldn't have such a hard time understanding this, because we are just as touchy about women's weight as women often are about men's height. Even if we personally are not turned off by a woman carrying a few extra pounds, we all know men who are.

 

My own brother, who is an incredibly decent person, would never, ever, date a woman who was even slightly overweight. Never. In fact, he has confined his dating almost exclusively to Asian women for this single reason. He doesn't say that is the reason, but we both know it. Even a few extra pounds are repulsive to him. Think about it. I bet we all know men like this.

[Cracker Jack]

I wish I knew.

 

Some women have outright told me that they were attracted to me, but that my height made me feel like I was their lil brother or something. These women never really came off as shallow, either--considering a knew most of them for a good bit.

 

Unfortunately, most of these girls were 5'7" or 5'6", while I'm barely 5'8". Not a good feeling being looked past due to height, regardless of your confidence level.

[PJKino]

I am going to reiterate something I said earlier.

 

As men, we shouldn't have such a hard time understanding this, because we are just as touchy about women's weight as women often are about men's height. Even if we personally are not turned off by a woman carrying a few extra pounds, we all know men who are.

 

My own brother, who is an incredibly decent person, would never, ever, date a woman who was even slightly overweight. Never. In fact, he has confined his dating almost exclusively to Asian women for this single reason. He doesn't say that is the reason, but we both know it. Even a few extra pounds are repulsive to him. Think about it. I bet we all know men like this.

 

I think comparing Mens height and womens weight is a little vague.Should a guy slightly below average height wise but has six pack abs be equated to a fat women just becasue hes not tall?

 

Plus out of all the people i know maybe one or two are strict on weight and want a women with skin and bones..Almost everyone i know wants a women with some meat and curves in the right places.The idea that the majority of Men want extremely skinny women is false..

 

Mens height with women seems to be the #1 physical dealbreaker in the dating world by far and seems to be much more important then some extra pounds on a women for Men looking for a mate..Maybe short guys are closer to obese women on a desired level.

Edited June 6, 2010 by PJKino

[somedude81]

As a 5'6 white guy, I can only assume that being short has been a factor in my horrible dating life. Since I'm not super good looking and my height may actually be working against me, the only thing I have to try and attract women is my personality and confidence, since I won't be attracting anybody with my appearance. Obviously those aren't cutting it since I've been single forever.

 

Maybe short guys are closer to obese women on a desired level.

That's what I think too. The main difference between the two, is that a short man can never grow taller.

[USMCHokie]

But on the dating sites, you will see many many women specifically state in the profile they are looking for a taller guy, or a guy 6'0 or taller just like the OP stated.

 

 

And by those women saying that, they have just knocked themselves out of my dating pool for being superficial nutjobs. I'm better off without them.

 

You'll notice this a lot more online, because the way the numbers are skewed heavily in favor of women. Women will feel entitled to tall guys because they are getting so much attention. Others use it simply as a filter to narrow things down. In real life, I've never met a woman who was a fixated on height as you may find in online dating.

[Cracker Jack]

^Then you're pretty lucky.

 

Just about every woman (I never did online dating and don't plan to) I've come into contact with are all about height; and this goes for women that I'm also simply just friends with.

[USMCHokie]

Mens height with women seems to be the #1 physical dealbreaker in the **ONLINE** dating world by far and seems to be much more important then some extra pounds on a women for Men looking for a mate.

 

 

Fixed. And even then, it's not as important to women as many make men perceive to be. A lot of men blame their lack of success on height because they are reluctant to see or identify their other shortcomings (pun totally intended ) that may be hurting their chances. It's easy to blame height because everyone does it. Ever stop to think that it's something else that women don't like about you?

[Cracker Jack]

When I'm told directly that my height makes them feel like a "lil brother instead of an actual man", how is one supposed to not blame it on height? I'm not fat or anything. I just go by what I'm told.

 

And FTR, I never like to make excuses; I'm just telling it how it is from my experiences.

[USMCHokie]

When I'm told directly that my height makes them feel like a "lil brother instead of an actual man", how is one supposed to not blame it on height? I'm not fat or anything. I just go by what I'm told.

 

And FTR, I never like to make excuses; I'm just telling it how it is from my experiences.

 

 

I still wouldn't blame it on my height. I'd blame it on the fact that those women are idiots.

[ADF]

Should a guy slightly below average height wise but has six pack abs be equated to a fat women just becasue hes not tall?

 

The way you phrased this sort of proves my point. For you, it seems far fetched that being a man being short (so what?) could possibly be equated with a woman being fat (gross!). That is a very male reaction. Drawing an analogy with the six-pack abs, a woman might point out that an overweight women might still have impressive breasts. However, that wouldn't be enough to make most men overlook her excess weight.

 

Plus out of all the people i know maybe one or two are strict on weight and want a women with skin and bones..Almost everyone i know wants a women with some meat and curves in the right places.The idea that the majority of Men want extremely skinny women is false..[/quote}

 

No one claims men like rail-thin women. Least of all me. As you say, men like women with "some meat and curves in the right places." Well, do you realize how hard it is for most women to meet that standard? Let's face it, the ideal today is for women to be very slim and fit, yet somehow manage to retain curvy hips and large, firm, high breasts. Very few women can meet this ideal. It doesn't matter how fit they are. It just isn't in most women's genetic deck of cards to have those kinds of proportions.

 

Mens height with women seems to be the #1 physical dealbreaker in the dating world by far and seems to be much more important then some extra pounds on a women for Men

 

I just don't think that's true. Overall, women are much less hung up on looks than men are. The trouble is, men generally only desire women who are extremely physically attractive. As you might expect, many of these women do indeed place a premium on a man's looks, including his height. But they are not representatvie of most women.

[Cracker Jack]

Well, that was from one girl. The others never hit me with that line, but most of them made it clear that taller men simply are what they want in a guy, and it has happened a good bit. And I knew all of them well, so it wasn't like they were strangers.

 

Does this mean I'm cursed for life? Not really. But some people do have struggles with their height in the dating world. Not everyone at my height does, but I do, unfortunately.