'Just Friends'

[dramadramadrama]

Hello,

Not sure if this posted already :S

I having been on-off dating this guy for 2 years, now, we got together and everything was going well. Until he went back to uni and the distance & him being friends with ex girlfriends got in the way. I think i may have overreacted due to family issues at the time.

We remained friends and spoke regulary, when he came for christmas we spent time together like a couple and it continued this way.

We spoke regulary by emails daily etc. Last october we discussed getting back together and he said thats what he wanted and he didnt want to be with anyone else etc. But was going abroad for 6months- so we decided not too as it would just be difficult.

So while he was away we emailed daily, he actually came home for christmas again and I spent time with him & his family as usual.

We decided to go on holiday in may as this was when he was due to move back. He flew from where he was, and I flew from where I was and met on the holiday. Had a lovely time acting as couple. Came back & spent time with his family.

He started moaning about his friends all having girlfriends, so I said your'll have to start double dating- to which he said 'on my own' which threw me as what am I then?

Later I asked him if hes against relationships and he said at the moment yes, as he sees everyone else- especially his best friend, spending all their time with their gfs and he doesnt want this. I said It would never be like that anyway- shes a bit possesive. And he said he just wants us as we are- which is a like a couple with out the 'title' and I said I cant do that as it means nothing really & its stopping me moving on and finding someone who actually wants to be with me properly. He got stroppy saying he cant understand why I want what everyone else wants. And that if thats what I want fine, he misses me already.

I assume he was mad at what I said because I sent a last message, saying its ashame we want different things.

Anyway I know I've done the right thing, Im just trying to understand him. Hes so confusing.

I bumped into a friend of his who went out of his way to come over and tell me hes an idiot, and a mess about it? which threw me as he hasnt been acting like that.

And hes been telling people he had a great holiday, now I want nothing to do with him? which isnt exactly the case.

Have a read this right, i always have that doubt as I was pushing him too much. But if it was meant to be, it wouldnt be this hard would it?

I feel lost now, as Im so used to having him to speak to & now hes gone. But I cant treat it as a break up as its not even that.

what a waste of time on my part!

And comments would help, I only have friends views and they arent always the best

 

Thanks

[ADF]

This guy is being very coy and pulling a lot of verbal gymnastics to make his desires sound more complex than they reallyare . What it boils down to is this: he wants a FWB, not a real relationship. That is pretty typical of men his age, who tend to be all about FWB and casual hook ups. It doesn't sound to me like you and he are on the same page.

[dramadramadrama]

I haven't logged on in a long time, you were right though exactly spot on. Well out of that situation, he now has a friend 'fiona' who I expect he is treating in exactly the same way. I still get the odd 'bacon sandwich' message at 3am! Thank you for being so honest