bhobel123 Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 Hello, i am in a tricky situation. my girlfriend of 2 years just moved to seattle for a new job. and this is how it came to be. We dated for a year and a half both very loving, in love and respectful of each other. but very independent and respectfully dependent. We have had rough patches here and there, but always with a loving outcome. In 2009, I was laid off a job and had a rough 2009 working part time jobs etc. she was very supportive through it all, emotionally and financially. i have been very supportive to her through many emotional times as well. So in november 2009, i decided to try and start a new career in paramedic/firefighter. at the same time she moved in. In February 2010, i finally got a new job at Whole Foods, and was working nights, while she works mornings and was going to school. So when i would get home from work she would be asleep and i was asleep when she would wake up. Our energy for the relationship started to drift and we both knew why. We started having conversations about what was going on here and there, and eventually I told her this is all i can give to the relationship right now.It seemed as if i was being very distant, but we were just on opposite energy levels for awhile. We had talked about moving cities together, and eventually she said she was going to start applying to jobs. I told her if she gets a good job she should god and not wait for me. Eventually she got a job and has moved to Seattle, WA. After she got the job we decided on a mutual no knowing what was going to happen and that we both needed to focus on ourselves for a bit. As time was getting closer to her leaving, i was having regretting feelings for the past few months, but did not want to make it a hard transition for her. Then eventually it was time for her to leave and it was really hard for both of us. Now she is gone, I am regretting it all and I have let her know, that I love her and want to be with her and I am willing to move there for myself and her. Now since she has been there, I have pressured her lightly and what not. But she is focused on her job, but still wanting to communicate and talk. As well as her being open to me to come visit. She has told me that she wants to see me get my **** together and what not. She has also told me that she is taking a step back, and does not want relationship discussion. Is the visit an opportunity for me to go out there and show her that I have a game plan and am sorry, and prove my love for her? Is this a chance for me? I believe that her communicating with me and open to the visit is a good sign...
lullaby Posted June 6, 2010 Posted June 6, 2010 Hello, i am in a tricky situation. my girlfriend of 2 years just moved to seattle for a new job. and this is how it came to be. We dated for a year and a half both very loving, in love and respectful of each other. but very independent and respectfully dependent. We have had rough patches here and there, but always with a loving outcome. In 2009, I was laid off a job and had a rough 2009 working part time jobs etc. she was very supportive through it all, emotionally and financially. i have been very supportive to her through many emotional times as well. So in november 2009, i decided to try and start a new career in paramedic/firefighter. at the same time she moved in. In February 2010, i finally got a new job at Whole Foods, and was working nights, while she works mornings and was going to school. So when i would get home from work she would be asleep and i was asleep when she would wake up. Our energy for the relationship started to drift and we both knew why. We started having conversations about what was going on here and there, and eventually I told her this is all i can give to the relationship right now.It seemed as if i was being very distant, but we were just on opposite energy levels for awhile. We had talked about moving cities together, and eventually she said she was going to start applying to jobs. I told her if she gets a good job she should god and not wait for me. Eventually she got a job and has moved to Seattle, WA. After she got the job we decided on a mutual no knowing what was going to happen and that we both needed to focus on ourselves for a bit. As time was getting closer to her leaving, i was having regretting feelings for the past few months, but did not want to make it a hard transition for her. Then eventually it was time for her to leave and it was really hard for both of us. Now she is gone, I am regretting it all and I have let her know, that I love her and want to be with her and I am willing to move there for myself and her. Now since she has been there, I have pressured her lightly and what not. But she is focused on her job, but still wanting to communicate and talk. As well as her being open to me to come visit. She has told me that she wants to see me get my **** together and what not. She has also told me that she is taking a step back, and does not want relationship discussion. Is the visit an opportunity for me to go out there and show her that I have a game plan and am sorry, and prove my love for her? Is this a chance for me? I believe that her communicating with me and open to the visit is a good sign... Yes, I do think that visiting her would be a good chance for you to discuss what you feel and see what is her situation too. It's something new for her, she must be concentrated in this new job and it's understandable. I would advice you to go and visit her, and then you'll have a better idea of how things are and then you can decide from there. You're not over. She probably used this distance to think and if she wants to keep communicating with you, it's a good sign indeed. Hope everything works out!
What_Next Posted June 10, 2010 Posted June 10, 2010 Words are words and actions are actions. Devise a plan, put it into action and then she where you stand. Short and simple.
romango Posted June 10, 2010 Posted June 10, 2010 romango please explain! Okay.................. You come across as weak and needy and have put her on a pedestal. She's started a new life without you and you come crawling back to try and rekindle something that didn't work out the first time. A groveling, lovesick guy is not attractive to most women. If you succeed I would be surprised. Good luck.
iroxpineapple Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 have a plan or something that proves to her that you have your **** together or else you will come off as a needy and unreliable person.
Author bhobel123 Posted June 11, 2010 Author Posted June 11, 2010 i agree with you romango. i am being far from needy and what not though. she is still communicating with me and i am going there to visit. there has to be something in that visit, otherwise she would tell me not to come and that she has started a new life and what not without her. i understand what your saying, but at the same time, we did not end on a bad note, and we had discussed moving out there at the same time. i do not hound her and i give her plenty of space. of course i expressed how i felt, and then backed off. she has not said leave her alone or anything. we had discussed about moving together, there was just some low energy the past few months, and i regret a lot. she is being open to the situation at least. otherwise she would tell me to leave her alone and move on. i am executing a plan for myself first then her in it. i can only try! if i dont try that means i dont give a ****!
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