MarKus Posted January 28, 2004 Posted January 28, 2004 Ok, me and my g/f have been on a break for a month now, we have been together for nearly 3 years, im 21 shes 19. Heres the story of our relationship in a nutshell. We've had really great times, we did everything together and went places together and some bad times. Ive never cheated on her, i wouldnt wish that on anyone. She told me she loved me very early on, which i was cautious of because of my ex gf of mine made me fall in love with her, so she could manipulate me, anyway..... Then after a long while we started to spend every single day with eachother, she really wanted this, so did i, it was great. I could tell she was in love with me, and i was in love with her. we were in eachothers pockets all the time, so to speak. We would argue about silly stuff sometimes, so i suggested we should still be together, keep contact all the time and just have a few days by ourselfs. I had our best interests at heart, because i felt we would drive eachother away, and i didnt want that to happen. Because i knew this was special She didnt want this, and never respected it. because she was paranoid i was interested in other girls and fancied all the girls in my college group!! But i WASNT! I used to do my hair, she used to think i wanted to impress other people. that was ridiculous! so we just continued as before. I didnt want us to cut close friends out of our life, i told her to see her friends also. She was very insecure about this.and She blackmailed me by saying "If you go out with your friends, there is no point in us being together" but i knew she was bluffing. That was a while ago, things have been going good since then until now She said "I need time apart from u", I had to accept her decision even though she didnt accept that i thought we needed only a few days by ourselfs year and half ago. anyway prior to the break she had been acting a bit strange she wasnt her normal self and i senced it. Also she started becoming pally to a younger girl from her work. After she told me, i was gutted because it was before new year, so i text her at least 3 times a day asking her 'Why? How long? I love you so much, dont do this" etc etc. She didnt ignore me she just said "we just need time", Anyway 2 weeks into the "break" she had to take her theory test, so i posted her a good luck card, then that evening she txt me telling me that her 1 yr old bullmastiff had to be put down. So i rang her, and she started to cry. I told her im always here im just a phone call away. She asked me if i could re-print a photograph of her dog (Im a photography student) and i agreed, i also asked her if she passed her theory test-but she said she failed and thanked me for the good luck card. That weekend i saw her in town. with that friend of hers, she smiled at me. But we didnt speak to eachother. I didnt text her much after that, she only replied to a few though. I told her i had done the photos, she said thankyou and she asked if i was ok had i been doing much. I never replied i just left it up to her to contact me I was in town that weekend and i tryed to make myself look good, and i spotted her with some girls i didnt know. i made out i didnt see her, but she must have seen me. I didnt want to contact her. A few hours later i get a message from her asking if i was ok, and what i was doing etc etc. For which i never replied. Yesterday my sister gave birth, so text her to let her know about it, thats it. and i never replied to her message. Ahhh Ive just this second got a text from her, it says "Did you get my text the other day? Hows the baby? whats it called? Are the photos ok, what have you done?" Anyway in a few weeks its valentines day, and a couple days after its her birthday. If were still on a break - should i get her a card or pressie for either? WHAT DO I DO? I miss her like mad, love and care for her and think of her constantly Ive kept contact to a bare minimum recently to allow her time. and tryed to occupy myself And as you can see she is keeping contact with me, which is allgood.
Kriz Posted January 28, 2004 Posted January 28, 2004 Dunno. Maybe you should try to have a face to face with her. Text messages aren't excactly what you need right now.
Velveteel Posted January 29, 2004 Posted January 29, 2004 She's treating you as a friend. Maybe a friend she has special feelings toward, but a friend nonetheless. Do the same in return. My instinct would be to send the birthday card, but not the Valentine's card. I'd do nothing about Valentine's. You're not together. You don't have to declare your love to her; she already knows. But yes, send a little more detail about the new baby. Be friendly and kind. I think that you've respected her wishes, and given her the distance she's asked for, and that the fact she's stayed in contact is a good sign that she appreciates this. Maybe the door is still open for romance, and maybe it isn't, but you are being strong and respectful, and showing some independence. Even if you don't always feel it, I'm sure you look great to her right now.
calithin83 Posted January 30, 2004 Posted January 30, 2004 this is weird..i dont relaly understand the story, have u asked her when the break will end? maybe she doesnt want to be with u anymore, if thats the case then...ugh...
Author MarKus Posted January 30, 2004 Author Posted January 30, 2004 cheers for the help velveteel, i did think sending the valentines day card would be a bad idea. so i'll just send her a birthday card, what about a small pressie? or is that a bad move? yeah im doing the things i usually do, im going out with mates next weekend, and ive got work and college in the week, i also usually occupy myself by dj'ing on my decks. even though, i still think of her 24/7, and its got to be a good thing thats shes still in contact
Author MarKus Posted February 19, 2004 Author Posted February 19, 2004 Ok update. Its been 6 weeks since she's asked for 'a break' I didnt sent a v.card but i sent the birthday card She called me asking if i could meet her in town with the photos of her dog that i had done for her. So i met her in town the next day (Valentines day) and she walked up to me with the biggest smile on her face and when i saw her she looked different, and it felt weird talking to her. All i wanted to do was hold her because i love and miss her so much. She was thanking me for the photos and we spoke for a little while asking eachother if we were ok, and she asked how my sisters baby was doing, just usual chit chat. but i didnt say much cos she had one of her friends with her. As we were talking some more of her workmates joined us and she started boasting to them that her and her friend were going out in town tonight, probably doing it infront of me to try and make me jealous, which didnt work. Anyway the week before i was out with mates in weymouth (20 miles away) and i went outside a club and rang her about 12 o'clock because i was thinking of her and i was a bit drunk and it had only been the second time i called her sincle 'the break'. we spoke briefly, i just asked how she was. She txt me the morning after saying sorry she didnt talk much cos she was in bed ill. So after thanking me for the photos, i said sorry for ringing last weekend, and i told her that i was out in weymouth. She replied sharply "Who were you in weymouth with then???" When we were together she would always say stuff like that especially if she was jealous or bothered about something, so why would she say it? i wished her happy birthday and all that, she said thanks. and i have still kept to not contacting her. I am doing the right thing, right?
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