AlwaysInTrouble Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 We had a huge fight, which i won't get into. We talked about it, sorta fixed it. It involved me telling her to get out of my car (thought she would mess it up if i left her alone with it) etc...anyways, she tells me "we can get back together, but i'm never studying in your place, going over your place, or sleeping over your place again. If you can't handle that then find someone else" now she's said this once before, and eventually she's come around. But this time she's a little more pissed than last time. What should i do, like the girl, but if she NEVER wants to sleep over, or even ENTER my place again then i don't see this "relationship" going anywhere. Anything i should say, or should i just tell her "i like you, but by never coming over my place again, you're not showing any interest in our relationship, and i can't deal with that. If you change your mind and miss me you know my number." ??? opinions on what to do?
Author AlwaysInTrouble Posted June 5, 2010 Author Posted June 5, 2010 so instead of studying at my place, i've been having to go to the noisy library, meeting her there i can't understand why, if she liked me, she wouldn't move past it. I told her that what happened won't happen again (she got mad that i told her to leave my car, but her reaction was offf the chart!!!! physical threats of violence etc...she lost her temper!!) i asked her if she would change anything, and she said that after reflecting back on the situation, that she wouldn't. She told me that if i ever spoke to her like that again, she would stab me in the jugular, or poke an eye out i told her that would not end well for her, and that she should never get violent. She told me, stop worrying about that don't put yourself in that situation and it'll never happen /crazy girl
amymarieca Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 This all depends on why she is telling you this. Does she tell you she's never coming over again because there is always some issue that arises from her presence there? I have some idea that maybe it is because you did tell her to get out of your car for fear she would mess it up. I would be pissed if my own boyfriend didn't trust me in that way. Does she even give you a reason to think this way? Or, is she saying this as a way of with holding and being manipulative? If it's this reason, I say dump her. You don't need someone who is going to play mind games every time you get in a fight.
ADF Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 Like a lot of posters, you make it almost impossible to offer an intelligent opinion because you leave out the most critical details--i.e. what the heck you were fighting about. Just saying you won't go into it isn't good enough. You have to go into it. Otherwise, how can we possible know what she is reacting to?
Author AlwaysInTrouble Posted June 5, 2010 Author Posted June 5, 2010 This all depends on why she is telling you this. Does she tell you she's never coming over again because there is always some issue that arises from her presence there? I have some idea that maybe it is because you did tell her to get out of your car for fear she would mess it up. I would be pissed if my own boyfriend didn't trust me in that way. Does she even give you a reason to think this way? Or, is she saying this as a way of with holding and being manipulative? If it's this reason, I say dump her. You don't need someone who is going to play mind games every time you get in a fight. ya basically we had an argument about her texting. I wanted to talk about it, she didn't. She got flipping pissed that i asked her to talk about it (her version is that she got mad after i said get out of the car, but in reality she was yelling "there's always an issue, go get my keys i can't take it, i'm done" so i said get out of my car, we were in the parking lot, where her car was parked) yes, shes telling me she'll never come over bc of the fight, and the fact that it took 24hours for her to get her stuff back from my place, and that she won't make that mistake again
Author AlwaysInTrouble Posted June 5, 2010 Author Posted June 5, 2010 Like a lot of posters, you make it almost impossible to offer an intelligent opinion because you leave out the most critical details--i.e. what the heck you were fighting about. Just saying you won't go into it isn't good enough. You have to go into it. Otherwise, how can we possible know what she is reacting to? sorry, she was always texting on the phone, so i picked it up one day and saw all these texts calling other guys hunny baby etc. she does talk like that normally to people, but it pissed me off bc she lied about it
OceanTropic Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 Dont do anything. SHE made that decision, not you. If she doesnt wanna ever come over, her loss. She could have just said it because she was angry, and if she means it, and it doesnt bother her that you are always apart and never chill at your place, then there might be a problem. If this is a casual thing, don't let it bother you. If it's serious, see if she keeps her word. If she does, you know she means business. If not, then it was just a fight and she was upset.
Author AlwaysInTrouble Posted June 5, 2010 Author Posted June 5, 2010 Dont do anything. SHE made that decision, not you. If she doesnt wanna ever come over, her loss. She could have just said it because she was angry, and if she means it, and it doesnt bother her that you are always apart and never chill at your place, then there might be a problem. If this is a casual thing, don't let it bother you. If it's serious, see if she keeps her word. If she does, you know she means business. If not, then it was just a fight and she was upset. hmm good point, i'm at the lib with her now, but tomorrow i'm going to just tell her i'm going to study at my place bc i'm more productive there, which is 100% true
Cracker Jack Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 Could you tell me the extent of your "relationship?"
phineas Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 sorry, she was always texting on the phone, so i picked it up one day and saw all these texts calling other guys hunny baby etc. she does talk like that normally to people, but it pissed me off bc she lied about it so she flirts with other guys via text & lies to you about it & now YOU are the one with the problem according to her? Ya know, she had to of met these guys in person & then gave them her number. you also know she is playing a power move on you. She is making up silly rules you have to follow & if you don't like it, it mean you are breaking up with her. Why do you put up with that again?
Author AlwaysInTrouble Posted June 5, 2010 Author Posted June 5, 2010 so she flirts with other guys via text & lies to you about it & now YOU are the one with the problem according to her? Ya know, she had to of met these guys in person & then gave them her number. you also know she is playing a power move on you. She is making up silly rules you have to follow & if you don't like it, it mean you are breaking up with her. Why do you put up with that again? we've been dating for a year yes exactly, it's a power move, she's trying to be controlling. I just left the lib, it was really noisy, i said you're welcome to come to my house. She made some comment about how "things were going perfectly, then you **** it up, then you want to say sorry and have everything go back to being perfect again" so i said goodbye, left and turned off my phone. If she asks, i'm going to tell her i'm studying at my place, she's welcome to come, if she doesn't want to thats HER decision. If she wants to break up over it thats fine good plan?
marsle85 Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 Like a lot of posters, you make it almost impossible to offer an intelligent opinion because you leave out the most critical details--i.e. what the heck you were fighting about. Just saying you won't go into it isn't good enough. You have to go into it. Otherwise, how can we possible know what she is reacting to? +11111111! Secondly, I don't what could warrant someone kicking me out of their car. Ever. That's pretty extreme slash immature.
brainygirl Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 I get the impression that both people involved in this situation are very young and immature, otherwise why would "studying at the library" even count at together time? Study by yourself, dating is supposed to be fun. If it has to be cheap, watch a movie or go for a hike somewhere.
Mac91 Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 OP, i am intrigued, let us know the outcome. + this girl seems like she's throwing ultimatum... if it was me, I'd be pissed if she was texting other guys like that too...
Author AlwaysInTrouble Posted June 5, 2010 Author Posted June 5, 2010 OP, i am intrigued, let us know the outcome. + this girl seems like she's throwing ultimatum... if it was me, I'd be pissed if she was texting other guys like that too... thanks, yes i was not happy about that...i don't like the ultimatum, idk w/e i'm going to study here, if she wants to come fine, if not fine, breakup fine don't have the energy anymore +11111111! Secondly, I don't what could warrant someone kicking me out of their car. Ever. That's pretty extreme slash immature. well she was in a screaming fit, and the last time she got mad she threw her keys, laptop, books, binders etc at me, keys put a spot in the wall...didn't want that to happen to my brand new audi I get the impression that both people involved in this situation are very young and immature, otherwise why would "studying at the library" even count at together time? Study by yourself, dating is supposed to be fun. If it has to be cheap, watch a movie or go for a hike somewhere. we're both in grad school, both 24, and so we have a TON of studying to do for exams, so we would study together.
brainygirl Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 we're both in grad school, both 24, and so we have a TON of studying to do for exams, so we would study together. Take from someone working on their second master's degree, study alone, date for fun. Mix high pressure studying with dating and you get high pressure dating. Not fun.
Author AlwaysInTrouble Posted June 5, 2010 Author Posted June 5, 2010 Take from someone working on their second master's degree, study alone, date for fun. Mix high pressure studying with dating and you get high pressure dating. Not fun. you're right, i think that's a good plan...but at this point i'm just not sure if too much damage has been done to the relationship already though
brainygirl Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 you're right, i think that's a good plan...but at this point i'm just not sure if too much damage has been done to the relationship already though Everything is a learning experience.
Author AlwaysInTrouble Posted June 6, 2010 Author Posted June 6, 2010 ok so we broke up over this, bc she said she's never coming over, and i said fine, but it woul be a problem. So she said fine lets end it. I wished her good luck in the future and left i drove home home, 45minutes away, she calls me and tells me to come back to the library to study with her. I tell her that i had gone home home and that i can't. she says how the fact that i'm not going to come means that she's only an item of convienience and how whevere she needs me i'm not there. I told her that you broke up with me, i had every right to go home, and that i told my parents i would study here for the night and didn't have to leave until tomorrow. my parents have already told me not to get back together with this girl before. is it wrong of me to say, "i would love to but i can't, can we just talk on the phone after you finish studying?"
whichwayisup Posted June 6, 2010 Posted June 6, 2010 Four words. Break up with her. This girl is dramatic and high maitenance! She over reacts, has a temper and treats you like an idiot. She texts other guys, flirts with them and then gets pissed at you when you call her on it? You deserve better, and it seems this girl is immature, selfish and has little respect for you. What is it that you like about her?
Cracker Jack Posted June 6, 2010 Posted June 6, 2010 You shouldn't even have to think about this much. You gave her your answer and that's how it is. Don't even worry about saying the right or wrong thing.
Author AlwaysInTrouble Posted June 6, 2010 Author Posted June 6, 2010 Four words. Break up with her. This girl is dramatic and high maitenance! She over reacts, has a temper and treats you like an idiot. She texts other guys, flirts with them and then gets pissed at you when you call her on it? You deserve better, and it seems this girl is immature, selfish and has little respect for you. What is it that you like about her? haha you're right. im done with her. we broke up, she keps texting me that she was mad about this that etc it's just not a match etc. i told her i have nothing to say to her, shes on the 10th text with no reply already. Shes complaining that when we broke up last time, that she had left books in my place and that it took too long for her to get her books back (24 hours) and that "people get hurt real bad for doing things like that" and that she had to "hold back my address to prevent her friends coming to hurt me" You shouldn't even have to think about this much. You gave her your answer and that's how it is. Don't even worry about saying the right or wrong thing. now how rude is it if when i see her tomorrow and she starts talking to me i just say "i have nothing to say to you"
Author AlwaysInTrouble Posted June 6, 2010 Author Posted June 6, 2010 she's going on about how her friends, family, guidance counselor tell her to stay away, and that she only stayed with me in the hopes that i would grow out of it...lol i'm not responding to that, waste of my time
Citizen Erased Posted June 6, 2010 Posted June 6, 2010 Um when she threatenedto stab you, I'd have to say that should have been the point that you got the hell away from her. From your initial post she sounded irrational, now she's violent and just plain fricking crazy. Ignore her calls from now on.
phineas Posted June 6, 2010 Posted June 6, 2010 Another power play on her part. Threaten to break up with you so you'll grovel at her feet. I'm almost positive she didn't expect you to say "buh-bye" Hence the rapid fire text messages blaming her unrealistic terms for the relationship on you. Just ignore her. as long as you don't have any more of her stuff you don't have to talk to her. also, when you see her just avoid talking to her. anything you say will just set her off anyways I think.
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