Alma Mobley Posted June 10, 2010 Posted June 10, 2010 When we had a business we had an employee who lied to us. We knew he was lying and it didn't bother me much. However it infuriated her and she said that when someone lies to you they think they're making a fool out of you. You know who feels this way? Liars. Liars and manipulators. This woman is poison.
RegardingMe Posted June 10, 2010 Posted June 10, 2010 Look if your a man over 60, buddy you have it made. My father, who is now 80 moved 5 years ago into a retirement community. He has had women drive their scooters up (strangers) and ask him to come back and get it on. He has a lively lively social calender and always has women hitting on him and looking for a long term relationship. Hey, they are clear boottie calls are great. He is thrilled. Other proof, the fastest growing sector with std's and AIDS are seniors. So if you can't get over it, move on.
You Go Girl Posted June 10, 2010 Posted June 10, 2010 (edited) You know who feels this way? Liars. Liars and manipulators. This woman is poison. Ummm...wrong. Liars and manipulators aren't the ones that believe that being lied to is being made a fool. That would be honest people who realize that when one is lied to, one's choices have been purposely limited with a lack of knowledge to make a clear choice by the liar. Liars lie for one reason more than any other. That is to put the other person at a disadvantage by withholding information. To take away their right to make a decision about their life. Liars like others who lie. They don't condemn the behavior, instead they study it, to see just how crafty it was, storing that info in their lying data base to use on someone else later. OP--Richard was extremely hard on you. But he does make some valid points. I wish he had done so with a little more compassion, but perhaps he thinks that the message wouldn't have made it through if he had been gentle. I think you don't THINK like your W, so you can't understand her selfish behavior because it is beyond you to be as selfish as she is. This naivete is not something to be chastised as Richard has done though. Just because you're innocent and gullible doesn't mean you deserve a thrashing. You do have to think through though what part you have played. Edited June 10, 2010 by You Go Girl
Author gullible Posted June 10, 2010 Author Posted June 10, 2010 First off, you are a fool. Richard is right -- I am a fool. Are you so unprincipled and desperate for female companionship that you would betray your own flesh and blood for a woman who came into your life yesterday? This is a good question. I've been asking myself this since I read this yesterday. I justified my actions by saying that my D would have gone back to the boyfriend anyhow. And she probably would have.
Alma Mobley Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 Ummm...wrong. Liars and manipulators aren't the ones that believe that being lied to is being made a fool. That would be honest people who realize that when one is lied to, one's choices have been purposely limited with a lack of knowledge to make a clear choice by the liar. Liars lie for one reason more than any other. That is to put the other person at a disadvantage by withholding information. To take away their right to make a decision about their life. Liars like others who lie. They don't condemn the behavior, instead they study it, to see just how crafty it was, storing that info in their lying data base to use on someone else later. Please let me clarify. I was not talking about it from the victim's stance, and you are right -- people often feel like a fool when they find out someone has been lying to them, usually about something important. I was talking about the liar's perspective. I assume you are a genuine and honest person, who, like the rest of us, has told some lies at some point. Since you're an honest person, how did you feel when you lied? You probably felt uncomfortable and a little guilty. Depending on the lie, you may even have felt especially guilty. But did you think to yourself, "Man, I really pulled one over on THAT guy! What a fool!" I know that I have never felt that way when I told a lie. I felt bad and ashamed of myself. Now the OP's employee has been telling lies. I'm going to assume that these lies aren't related to any critical job performance because the OP was not upset by them. He knows they're lies and doesn't let it get to him. I've known a few exaggerators myself and just let them tell their stories and brush it off. The OP's wife, on the other hand, is a known liar. And what is her response? She is "infuriated" and her biggest concern is how the employee views them. She thinks the employee is laughing at them, that he thinks they're fools, because that is how she feels when she lies. From the OP's description, I think his wife is a manipulator, and probably a pretty good one at that, eg getting her name added to the deed of his house AND having him believe it was his idea. (I know, that last part is my opinion.) I've known people like that, and when you find out how they really feel about the people they manipulate, it is disgusting. This is why I said people who think this way are liars and manipulators themselves. She thinks the employee is lying and having a laugh at their expense and making fools of them because she that's what she thinks about the people she lies to. After all, we don't really know what the employee is actually thinking. I think the OP had the more appropriate response, which was to shrug it off. The OP also said this: What she said stuck with me, and I think about that quite often. I realize that she has lied to me many times, and based on what she said she thinks she has made a fool out of me. That bothers me and I just can't get over that.He is right to remember that and have it stick with him. I would be willing to bet there was a way in which she said it that made it stick with him. And he is right -- she is thinking she made a fool out of him. From what the OP has listed, I think this woman has all the signs of a manipulator who has little empathy and is poison to the OP. She's a gold-digger and I hope he dumps her.
mem11363 Posted June 12, 2010 Posted June 12, 2010 Your W has aggressively acted to cut your children out of your life. That is horrible. There is NOTHING minor about her bad behavior. Wow - come on man - why are you not standing up for yourself. You will NOT be alone if you leave her. When we had a business we had an employee who lied to us. We knew he was lying and it didn't bother me much. However it infuriated her and she said that when someone lies to you they think they're making a fool out of you. What she said stuck with me, and I think about that quite often. I realize that she has lied to me many times, and based on what she said she thinks she has made a fool out of me. That bothers me and I just can't get over that. Prior to my last talk with her in December 2007 I was spying on her computer, so I knew everything that was going on between her and OM. Now she's smart enough to not communicate through her home computer, so I have no way of knowing whether she's still in contact with him or not. So, yes it bothers me not knowing what's going on. It would not bother me if she told me she was leaving me -- that would give me closure and I could move on with my life. I would kick myself for sticking around for this many years, but I could get over that. But not knowing really bothers me. At this point I feel that I would be being unfair to her in divorcing her. I have read other people's posts, and compared to some of them what she has done is trivial. Most people that have responded to my posts would disagree with the way I feel. However, I take my wedding vows seriously, and I need something more in order to justify a divorce to myself. I don't have a clue what would cause me to get over how I feel. I have been to five counselors, taken several different types of anti-depressants and nothing seems to help.
Author gullible Posted June 14, 2010 Author Posted June 14, 2010 I don't think you misinterpreted them at all. Who jokes about kids losing their inheritance? Loving you means at least caring about the wellfare of your children (even if she doesn't love them or like them, she's supposed to love you thereby caring about your children in at least a minimal way). You keep giving her the benefit of the doubt because you don't WANT it to be TRUE. That's why. That's correct - I don't WANT it to be true. Today she called me at work to remind me to get a birthday card for my son because it's his birthday. So apparently she does care about my children.
Author gullible Posted June 18, 2010 Author Posted June 18, 2010 I want to thank everyone for their replies. I realize that the advice that I received is correct, however it's extremely difficult for me to carry through on what I know I should do.
reservoirdog1 Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 Below are paragraphs in bold extracted from your previous threds and my opinions/questions to them: Yr wife: "Here's the thing. I can't meet for drinks because I'm afraid that I'll again become your lover". I'll admit up front that I may be taking this out of context. But assuming I'm not: In what part of the English-speaking world does the above statement of hers NOT mean that she's already been his "lover" and has probably already f*ucked him repeatedly? Couple that with her horrible treatment of your children, and her comments suggesting that she's trying to use you financially (your children can "kiss their inheritance goodbye")... I'm having a lot of difficulty disagreeing with the poster who referred to her as evil. At the very least, she's dishonest, disloyal and manipulative. Sounds like great wife material.
Author gullible Posted June 18, 2010 Author Posted June 18, 2010 In what part of the English-speaking world does the above statement of hers NOT mean that she's already been his "lover" and has probably already f*ucked him repeatedly? As far as I know, that was before we met. I suspect that she and her ex-husband had a threesome with him. I don't care about what happened before we met.
Recommended Posts