tinkerbelle21 Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 Hey, I just feel the need to post on here what i have been through and express my feelings. I went out with a ex for a year and we were constantly on and off. I really loved him and put a lot into it but never felt like i got the same back. He was a complete compulsive liar and after a few occasions when i found out that he lied I tried to end it but through his mind games and begging I foolishly always took him back. But cos I was well aware of the lies I could never ever trust him or believe what he said. Even simple things like what had he been up to and I always doubted his stories. Ultimately, I couldnt trust him. One time, he told me he was in ill and in hospital only to discover after I planned to visit him that he was in fact in a different city with a girl! Another time, I caught him emailing this awful ugly girl for sex after i had only just left his house! This broke my heart and we broke up for a few months but he promised me and begged me that he changed so we tried again. It made me feel so insecure and questioning why did he feel that i wasnt good enough? I hate him for the way he made me feel about myself. During this time apart I briefly met someone else but it didnt work...when my ex found out about this he went completely crazy on me and very nearly threw a concoction of posion and chemicals over me! I don't know what's the matter with me but i still stayed with him hoping i could be the one girl to make him change but it never happened i have finally ended it with him and told him to meet someone else and encouraged him to meet and date other girls. I know i need to get rid of him but i still find it hard. I know he has been out with a few girls and likes one of them but i can't help but really hate it! I keeep thinking that he will be different to her and treat her right even though i don't think he will ever change. All of my friends and family say i am too good for him because to be fair he is quite unattractive and loserish with no prospects but i feel so angry with him for making me feel so insecure and full of self doubt. Part of me is embarrased for being with him and putting up with his behaviour. He never seemed to appreciate me or what we had. We don't talk anymore but i wish i didn't even think about him or have a peek on his facebook cos then i annoy myself. i just now want to get over him for good and not think about him anymore cos it's really not good for me and gets me down please some help would be amazing! x
sugarmomma Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 First of all you have to stop blaming him for your insecurities. He may have triggered them but you allowed him to. Work on not letting another person actions determine your moods and reactions. Next you need to work on your boundaries. Put together a list of behaviors that are unacceptable and non negotiable i.e cheating, lying, etc. Boundaries determine how you allow yourself to be treated. Pat yourself on the back for finally ending it cuz that takes a lot of courage. So don't beat yourself up for being with him. I'm sure he wasn't horrible in the beginning and that's usually the person we fall for. You deserve to be treated with love, care concern, and respect. No Contact at all!!
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