Have I been a fool?

[beraldi21]

the first relationship I've had since my divorce has recently ended after 18 months and im heartbroken, but also feel like an old fool. I fell in love with a recovering heroin addict and i have allowed him to use me . My self esteem and confidence are at rock bottom and I cant believe how hurt I am.

the main cause of the split was his son, a 13 year old who has stolen from me and constantly crossed boundaries in my home. The lad has serious issues -Eg - no friends his own age and anger problems that result in fights at school. I tried but struggled to bond with him ,tried to help by offering to have his friends here for sleepovers or trips to the cinema but he refused . His dad ,possibly through guilt , never parented him and never said no .He would stay every Friday night and come back again for 6 hours Sunday lunchtime. My ex was always too tired on Saturday evenings to be bothered to do anything.I have to admit I dreaded the weekends. I asked about 6 months ago if the son could come every other Sunday and come to stay in the week,(still come every Friday) but the boy didn't want to . I wanted to try and free up some time for my ex and I to share some quality time to do things together as a couple. He basically said he has to see his son and refused to even discuss a compromise.

I opened my home to my ex ,I even supported him financially when he didnt have work for nearly 6 months .He got depressed at this time and since then his sex drive has been at zero. I wanted to end the relationship a year ago when i discovered he was chatting to women on the internet ,but chose to believe him when he said he loved me and it meant nothing.

He has never taken me out for a meal and even forgot my birthday this year . Didn't help around the house except cook , I have a full time stressful job and needed a bit more support. recently all he does is work and sleep - a lot. I think he has started to smoke cannabis again because I kept finding cigarette papers in his pockets when I did the laundry.He knew drug use would be a deal breaker for me. In spite of all this I loved him, he is gentle ,kind and companiable .

He left 3 weeks ago after I again raised the issue of his son being here every sunday. I tried to explain that the lack of doing anything together was causing us to drift apart and making me miserable and lonely. He shouted at me that he loves me but didn't like me because I was in his eyes horrible to his son. I'm so sad its ended like this , I initiated no contact after writting a letter explaining how I felt and he isn't contacting me either.

My head tells me I'm best out of the relationship , that I have been used, that he lied when he said he loved me . Why then do I feel like crap.

[ADF]

Yes, you've been a fool, but so what? You know better now. You are well out of this relationship. Don't be so hard on yourself.