Confusedalways Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 Just curious-- how many days have to go by without hearing from someone that crosses it from being busy/ gameplay into him just not being that into you? I'm going crazy wondering if a certain guy will call again... I thought he was into me but I guess maybe not. He said he would call but had a busy week coming up, and I'm just not sure how to take that. So what's the difference between being busy/ gameplay and not being interested at all?
D-Lish Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 So what's the difference between being busy/ gameplay and not being interested at all? When you like someone, busy isn't an option. No matter how busy I am, I HAVE TIME for someone that I really like. Using the busy excuse is tantamount to saying "I am not interested enough"... Sure, I may be too busy to see someone everyday, or even for a week- but it takes 2 seconds to text or send an e-mail- even make a quick phone call. I work 6 days a week- often 10-12 hour days. If I am interested in someone, I will see them after those 10 hours, I will at the very least make sure to talk to them throughout the day. "Busy" is an excuse.
Kiley12 Posted June 6, 2010 Posted June 6, 2010 I agree with D-lish as well. In the early stages of dating, the guy should be working a little harder to win you over. I would put him in the 'not so interested category' if you don't hear from him within 2 days of your last contact.
USMCHokie Posted June 6, 2010 Posted June 6, 2010 When you like someone, busy isn't an option. No matter how busy I am, I HAVE TIME for someone that I really like. "Busy" is an excuse. +1,000,000. If someone is truly interested, they will never be too busy for you. If that person truly is too busy, then he/she isn't dateable.
mixwell Posted June 6, 2010 Posted June 6, 2010 When you like someone, busy isn't an option. No matter how busy I am, I HAVE TIME for someone that I really like. Using the busy excuse is tantamount to saying "I am not interested enough"... Sure, I may be too busy to see someone everyday, or even for a week- but it takes 2 seconds to text or send an e-mail- even make a quick phone call. I work 6 days a week- often 10-12 hour days. If I am interested in someone, I will see them after those 10 hours, I will at the very least make sure to talk to them throughout the day. "Busy" is an excuse. I cannot agree more with you on this.. Whether male or female if you're REALLY busy and someone initiates contact that you are REALLY into you will take a few seconds to call them or text them and say you're busy but hi or whatever.. Someone saying and/or ignoring you that they're busy it's a clear sign they aren't interested.. I'm trying not to jump to conclusions but if someone says they're busy and doesn't initiate contact and you keep contacting them you are only going to shoot yourself in the foot.. I think the best thing would be to send a text or attempt to call and if you don't get in touch then leave it at that.. The person will see you made an attempt and if they like you then they will for sure make a legit attempt to try and contact you, if not then they're not really interested in the first place.. Hell I do this myself as a guy and I have been on both ends of being really into a chick and trying to not show my interest but I will communicate regularly and I ALWAYS make sure I can reply if they initiate contact.. I have also been on the other end of females that don't spark my interest and when I receive a text or call and don't reply it is really because I am not into them and USUALLY the good things with women is they're good at cutting through the BS and can read men and their reactions a lot better than men can read women.. Hope this helps ya out.
seekandfind Posted June 6, 2010 Posted June 6, 2010 I would say give it 3-5 days, and if you haven't heard anything then there is a good chance he won't call again. This is assuming you guys are in the very beginning stages (1-3 dates). Of course, if this is consistent behavior for him, then he probably isn't that interested.
mixwell Posted June 6, 2010 Posted June 6, 2010 I would say give it 3-5 days, and if you haven't heard anything then there is a good chance he won't call again. This is assuming you guys are in the very beginning stages (1-3 dates). Of course, if this is consistent behavior for him, then he probably isn't that interested. To add to this (in a last attempt) I would give 3-5 days and then try ONLY 1 more time to txt or call him then the ball is in court.. After that txt/call leave it up to him.. If a week goes by then it should be a pretty damn clear sign that he isn't interested in you.
counterman Posted June 6, 2010 Posted June 6, 2010 Yes, that "busy" line is just crap. My ex-girlfriend use to pull that line on me to guilt-trip me. Seriously made me seem like a demanding, clingy for trying to contact her at times. How busy can you really be? Personally, I have zero tolerance for this but a final attempt at contact wouldn't hurt.
mixwell Posted June 6, 2010 Posted June 6, 2010 Yes, that "busy" line is just crap. My ex-girlfriend use to pull that line on me to guilt-trip me. Seriously made me seem like a demanding, clingy for trying to contact her at times. How busy can you really be? Personally, I have zero tolerance for this but a final attempt at contact wouldn't hurt. I agree.. I have been in that boat where to your ex you were everything and then all the sudden they treat you like they're too busy for you... GRRRR... I think to end all this BS a final attempt to contact and then leaving it be would give the poster a clear picture if this person is into them or not..
Sivok Posted June 6, 2010 Posted June 6, 2010 Confused, If the fellow in question is from your previous thread and still has not contacted you, I would move on. Think of it this way, if he's too busy to even text you (if he really is interested)... Then this might just be a taste of things to come in your future with him as well. Redflags all around
daphne Posted June 6, 2010 Posted June 6, 2010 I think everyone's being a bit reactive. It sounds like this is a new thing and I think you need to relax and just see how it goes. If he doesn't call within a week, you have your answer. But in the beginning, people still have other commitments and events, work schedule that didn't include you and until they decide that you're someone they are seriously interested in pursuing, you won't see that clear for a little bit. I wouldn't get bent out of shape yet. It'll show if you're annoyed when he does call and it'll be a turn off. I know from my end I don't like it when someone can't relax and just trust that things will happen organically and that I'll start to clear my schedule little by little as the relationship grows.
jennifer4 Posted June 6, 2010 Posted June 6, 2010 I'm sorry you're going through the bs too. It happened to me this weekend. The guy and I only have known each other alittle over a week. Haven't been out, but he went to a city an hour or so away on Thurs. He called and told me to call him later. I did. no answer. Well just a few minutes ago he text me.. saying he's sorry.. I'm not replying! UGH! sorry for the thread jack but I hope things work out for you. They are never to busy to call or text. We deserve so much more.
jennifer4 Posted June 6, 2010 Posted June 6, 2010 oh and one more thing. I think it depends alot on the amount of contact you had before.. My guy would call once a day and we'd text a few times a day.. then nothing for 3 days.. not good.
threebyfate Posted June 6, 2010 Posted June 6, 2010 Yup, someone busy makes time for people they want to be with, even if it's a quick message. He's either low interest or game playing of which neither is worth your time.
Author Confusedalways Posted June 6, 2010 Author Posted June 6, 2010 (edited) I figured all of this, I was just attempting to delude myself into thinking maybe he really was busy Oh, well. Big city, someone has to be suitable! Ugh no need for people to tell me they're going to call if they're not, that's just mean Edited June 6, 2010 by Confusedalways
jennifer4 Posted June 6, 2010 Posted June 6, 2010 It is mean! I refuse to be a doormat.. So this guy text me and he'll see what it's like to be ignored. You have the right attitude, the right guy who'll make time for you is out there. I keep saying the same thing to myself. good luck!
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