In-The-Wheat Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 (edited) Basically went out with this girl for short time, really got into each other, became serious very quickly. She became distant (freaked out or found someone else) then broke up with me. I did the dumb stuff for a few days afterwards, but then implemented NC. After 2+ months of NC, I broke it this week, but I was OK with it at this point so not a big deal. The way it happened was we were both at an "event" the other day. When I first got there, I noticed her starring at me as I found a spot to sit. Later, I came up beside her in passing and made a joke - she looked at me smiled and laughed, but I kept moving on my way. Didn't say anything to her after that and went home. The next day (this will be going on for another month or so) at this event while checking in, I'm giving my name and she comes up right beside me (literally inches away) says her name loud enough for me to hear it and checks in.. She didn't say hello, and I didn't even look over or glance at her - just went on with my business. She also tried to stay in my general area throughout this day, which was odd. Anyway, I have to be around her for the next 6 or 7 weeks at this thing and I don't know what to do now.. I think she is trying to get my attention in subtle/casual ways, but I'm unsure what her intentions are. I look at it like this: 1) These are breadcrumbs and she is just being your basic attention whore. She wants me to start talking to her, saying high, etc. so she can get me back on the hook. OR 2) She is actually just scared to say hi knowing how she handled it and how I felt post break-up. She wants me to initiate a conversation, making it more comfortable for her to open up... wherever that would lead - being friends, an apology, made a mistake - who knows. I just don't know. She is an emotionally delicate person & usually shuts people out. I personally believe she is trying to test the waters with me, albeit without calling, emailing, etc. Its very early in this "event" so there is plenty of time to figure it all out. I have no idea if she's seeing someone at this time or not so I can't really factor that in. This event will be going on for the next 6/7 weeks and she will be there so I need a gameplan. And btw, I do want her back if that makes a difference. I feel my best course of action is to be cordial, not overly friendly and just see where it goes. Advice? The next time I will see her is monday. Edited June 5, 2010 by In-The-Wheat
cp3_panda Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 Im facing a similar situation with you.. i cant decide to talk to her again or not given all of these clues. I have a different perspective on it though. Who cares what she is ultimately trying to do? I think in the end, if you worry about ur own well-being, then you can/will always make the right decision. You say that you are pretty much over it by now. If you are, and you are REALLY curious what she wants.. u can take the leap which may end up in reconciliation, friends or complete emotional breakdown once again. If you are at all doubting that you are 100% moved on, then dont bother breaking NC. It will only hurt u much more if she truly is trying to yank on your chain. Good luck
Predator04 Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 Think of it this way... If she wanted to get back with you.. do you think she would know how to do it? Of course she would. Stop looking deep into this. It will only hurt you more. best of luck
Author In-The-Wheat Posted June 5, 2010 Author Posted June 5, 2010 (edited) Thanks for the responses guys. Im facing a similar situation with you.. i cant decide to talk to her again or not given all of these clues. I have a different perspective on it though. Who cares what she is ultimately trying to do? I think in the end, if you worry about ur own well-being, then you can/will always make the right decision. You say that you are pretty much over it by now. If you are, and you are REALLY curious what she wants.. u can take the leap which may end up in reconciliation, friends or complete emotional breakdown once again. If you are at all doubting that you are 100% moved on, then dont bother breaking NC. It will only hurt u much more if she truly is trying to yank on your chain. Good luck Thanks man.. The last day I saw her (when she came up and stood next to me) I realized that I have practically lost all emotional connection (not even butterflies), so I'm confident I could strike up some small talk when she "nonchalantly" comes near me, and take on whatever she gives back. I mean I think about her, but there isn't that pain or ache anymore like there was. And you're right, who cares what she's thinking - it's about me now and what I want to do. I figure if I talk to her - I can be kind, but still a challenge/unavailable/mysterious and slowly start figuring out where she's at...but only if she comes up to me will I say something. I'm definitely not going to bring anything up from the past either. On the other hand if I don't - I'll probably never know what's up and regret it, so why not take the chance. Think of it this way... If she wanted to get back with you.. do you think she would know how to do it? Of course she would. Stop looking deep into this. It will only hurt you more. best of luck True as well, but I'm now passed that point where I could get seriously hurt. I'm in a different place compared to a month and 2 months ago - I'm stronger now & realize I do not need this girl. I believe when it comes to (some) women (and after reading a lot of info about r/s) that sometimes they need that initial "push" to get them to open up. Anybody else have an opinion? I'll try to keep you abreast on this as we go along... for the next month and a half lol. Edited June 5, 2010 by In-The-Wheat
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