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Posted

would you date your friend's Ex? or a co worker's Ex?

I kind of showed interest to someone but only just found out that couple of years back he was dating this co worker of mine who is also kind of my friend. They are still friends. ( heard that she broke his heart)

Perhaps I am over reacting but its such a deal breaker for me that I no longer wish to go for the coffee we had planned. Shall I just do the dissapearing act or just tell him that I have changed my mind?

Posted

First of all, NEVER do the disappearing act. Not ever, not to anyone. Aside from physical abuse, that is the single most craven, cowardly, contemptable BS people pull in relationships. Have the common decency and respect to tell a person the truth. Don't run and hide like a cowardly little punk.

 

That said, you might be surprised at how understanding this person is of your problem. Dating the ex's of friends is usually a minefield. There are so many ways it can go so terribly wrong. If this person has any experience in life at all, she'll understand what your concerns are.

Posted

Yeah, that's a tough one. Presumably you'll be forever avoiding any situation in which you will all be together, just as it would be so uncomfortable. If it's an issue with you at all, as it appears to be, probably best that you don't let it go very far. Although I think you should be honest with him and simply explain what your thinking rather than just blow him off. But that's me.

  • Author
Posted
First of all, NEVER do the disappearing act. Not ever, not to anyone. Aside from physical abuse, that is the single most craven, cowardly, contemptable BS people pull in relationships. Have the common decency and respect to tell a person the truth. Don't run and hide like a cowardly little punk.

 

That said, you might be surprised at how understanding this person is of your problem. Dating the ex's of friends is usually a minefield. There are so many ways it can go so terribly wrong. If this person has any experience in life at all, she'll understand what your concerns are.

 

Thing is I liked this person a lot and showed my interest but since I found out, I lost all the drive to pursue anything with him...

  • Author
Posted
Yeah, that's a tough one. Presumably you'll be forever avoiding any situation in which you will all be together, just as it would be so uncomfortable. If it's an issue with you at all, as it appears to be, probably best that you don't let it go very far. Although I think you should be honest with him and simply explain what your thinking rather than just blow him off. But that's me.

 

yeah I am thinking I should politely bail myself out of this. He is a great person and probably I am going to regret this but sometimes we gota do what we gota do.. I am so upset about this :(

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