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Do you ever burn out?


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Posted

Lately I've been pretty apathetic about dating. It's the first time this has happened to me.

 

I'm reasonably experienced. During my entire twenties I always either had a very serious girlfriend, or was dating people casually and sexually. I wasn't ever a real lothario but things weren't difficult either. I just turned thirty.

 

I was seeing someone for about five months recently. I liked her and we had fun, but I knew it wasn't going towards marriage or committment for me. I wasn't seeing anyone else, although I didn't feel exclusive. I actually wasn't sure how she felt about things, and then one night she said I love you which kind of cleared that up. It wasn't a bad scene that night or anything - I was immediately honest with her that I didn't feel the same way, and she spent the night, and a few days later at dinner I broke it off. I'm actually pretty happy about that, it was doing the right thing, rather than just stringing her along for the sex.

 

Since then (about two months) I just haven't had any motivation romantically. I went on a couple of dates, and they seemed to go fine, but I could tell I was just acting on habit. Saying things I knew would seem funny, being gregarious, confident, but I really didn't give a sh*t. I'm burnt out on the inevitable nonsense and game playing that goes along with casual dating, and also that last girl has left me a bit uneasy I think. It's not the first time I dated someone who felt more strongly about me than I did about her and it's not a very pleasant experience. For unknown reasons I seem to be dealing with the lack of sex more easily than I used to as well.

 

I guess I'm just kind of rambling a bit. Wondering if anyone else has had this kind of burn out, and if so how it went for them.

Posted

Oh yeah, I can relate, but remember, burnout is cyclical. I'm in a burn-out phase right now; couldn't care less about romance or sex. My advice would be: take a break, reassess your values (now that you've entered your 30's) and, with any luck, you will be ready to take the next step, which is entering into a meaningful and mutually satisfactory relationship.

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