Gf will only get drunk without me -- need to know if I am being irrational

[VertexSquared]

I need to know if I am misreading a signal or if I am being a baby or something before I bring this up and make an ass out of myself over potentially nothing.

 

My gf and I have a fairly healthy sex life -- we do it often and we're both quite passionate. She loves it just as much as I do and never turns down an advance or proposition, and so we're very compatible in this regard.

 

However, my girlfriend is, to a small degree, reserved. The other night I asked her what she'd like to do in bed that we may not already do, and she said she came up with something and would like to try it -- but she'd save it for the following night when we got into bed. However, when we finally made it to bed after a day or so of wondering what her "surprise" desire was, it took almost an hour to get her to come out and say that she wanted to be done up against the wall.

 

She later told me that it was very hard for her to verbalize her sexual desires because she's so used to being with guys who have problems (namely keeping it up) and so she never gets much chance to focus on herself.

 

So, with that background info in place:

 

For some reason she doesn't want to get drunk around me. She told me that she gets "really bad and out of control" when she's drunk, and to me, this seemed like a potential turn-on if it'd allow her to toss her reservations aside and let loose and have fun. However, whenever we happen to go out drinking, she makes an active effort not to get drunk. She's somewhat avoided it almost every time, and when I asked her why, she gave very unsatisfactory answers (namely no answers at all, or "I'm a horrible drunk").

 

She just recently went to visit some family on the opposite coast, and she just messaged me, drunk. She's hanging out with her family, admittedly, but it bothers me that she'll get drunk elsewhere but, for some reason, refuse to do so around me.

 

The logic of the situation confuses me, and I don't want to make a big deal out of it if I am somehow in the wrong. Can anyone offer any elucidation? Thanks.

[Laugher]

I think she just really likes you and is afraid to ruin it by making a fool of herself drunk. It sounds like she has had one or a few experiences in the past where she has been embarressed by things she did or said drunk.

Personally, on occasion I have woken up and thought 'Oh ****, what the hell was I saying last night'..its not a nice feeling, especially if its around someone you are dating.

Its a good sign on one hand because if she wasnt that into you she wouldnt really care about making a show of herself but yet at the same time she is not 100% comfortable around you yet like she is with family or close friends..this will come with time!!

[VertexSquared]

I think she just really likes you and is afraid to ruin it by making a fool of herself drunk. It sounds like she has had one or a few experiences in the past where she has been embarressed by things she did or said drunk.

Personally, on occasion I have woken up and thought 'Oh ****, what the hell was I saying last night'..its not a nice feeling, especially if its around someone you are dating.

Its a good sign on one hand because if she wasnt that into you she wouldnt really care about making a show of herself but yet at the same time she is not 100% comfortable around you yet like she is with family or close friends..this will come with time!!

 

This is what I have been hoping is the truth but I don't know how to verify this for myself. There are times where she is embarrassed to be open with me (she'll eventually come out with it, with a little light prying) -- but she will later thank me for being understanding and patient with her, and so I don't think she's reserved because she dislikes me or something deep down.

 

I just can't really figure out why she'd want to avoid allowing herself to get tipsy, lol. When we've hung out in groups, her friends have openly said that she is very funny when drunk. It just intrigues me that she's actively avoiding it and I can't figure out why.

[reservoirdog1]

I second what laugher says. Sounds like she would like to be able to go totally crazy with you, without a few drinks, but isn't quite there yet. I'm guessing your relationship is relatively new (less than a year?). She's still nervous about what you'll think of her, her unspoken desires, etc. and worries that you'll judge her. Make sure that when she DOES verbalize those desires, you embrace them with enthusiasm. That'll make it easier for her to do so next time.

 

Sounds like you've got a cool girl there.

[Laugher]

''If you sometimes feel a little useless, offended or depressed... always remember that YOU were once the fastest and most victorious sperm out of millions. ''

 

hehe!!

[TouchedByViolet]

People can become someone else when they are drunk. She probably doesn't want to be embarrassed about her actions when she reaches that point. I wouldn't worry about it.

[Green]

I don't like getting "Drunk" I think its kinda lame. I think its much more cool if you get a buzz going. If she goes out and has a few drinks that should be good enough... why do you need her drunk.

[VertexSquared]

What would she have to be embarrassed about?

 

We just shared this conversation over chat (she is currently drunk):

 

 

 

Girlfriend: Just emailed you a photo of the lake

And a little drunk lol

me: what!!!!

damn it lol

Girlfriend: Did you see the photo??

me: yes

pretty

Girlfriend:

Girlfriend: I need to stop drinking haha

Girlfriend: I miss youuuu

Ahhhh

Girlfriend: I think you need to get me drunk when I get back lol

Hahaha

Why aren't you here? There are so many places where we could get away with having sex lol

me: dude lol

what do you think i've been saying this whole time hahaha

Girlfriend: Hahaha

What do you mean lol

me: the fact that you get wild when drunk ;P

Girlfriend: What?!

Girlfriend: I just know I want it really badly like right now

Haha

Hahaha

me: lol

me: if you get so horny when you're drunk how come i have yet to see it!?

i am totally missing out here

Girlfriend: Yes you are lol

But so am I lol

Yea, you're just going to have to wait for it to happen haha

me: anyways I gotta go buy some groceries, anticlimactically enough

Girlfriend: Okayyy

Call you laterrr

me: I am actually going to bed early tonight (4 hr nights = godddd I need sleep) so I may be out later

Girlfriend: Oh okay

me: having a severe lack of sleep lately

Girlfriend: I'll talk to you tomorrow then

Okay

Have a good night

me: gnight

Girlfriend: Miss you

[VertexSquared]

I don't like getting "Drunk" I think its kinda lame. I think its much more cool if you get a buzz going. If she goes out and has a few drinks that should be good enough... why do you need her drunk.

 

I don't "need" her drunk... it just puzzles me that she's actively avoiding it around me, but she'll do it elsewhere. And, of course, refer to the prior convo.

[Green]

I don't "need" her drunk... it just puzzles me that she's actively avoiding it around me, but she'll do it elsewhere. And, of course, refer to the prior convo.

 

I didn't understand

 

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

 

Let your inner demon out on her. She is anoying me too now.

 

You get Drunk around me and stay sober around other people.. NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND

[VertexSquared]

 

You get Drunk around me and stay sober around other people.. NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND

 

Yes, this exactly

[Ruby Slippers]

Maybe she gets emotional and weepy when drunk. Who knows?

 

Stop obsessing about it. Then she'll probably do it right away.