Crazy Magnet Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 Yep, I would have gone straight to your supervisor. While I will politely deflect these types of idiot remarks outside the workplace I have a zero tolerance policy for the actual work place. You must be really young to not know what an a$$ you made of yourself or to not know how rude and insulting that was. AND...please stop trying to say this is some southern thing. I was born, raised, and still live in the south and I expect men here to act like GENTLEMAN not flaming retards.
norajane Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 Yep, I would have gone straight to your supervisor. While I will politely deflect these types of idiot remarks outside the workplace I have a zero tolerance policy for the actual work place. You must be really young to not know what an a$$ you made of yourself or to not know how rude and insulting that was. Totally agree - there was nothing witty, clever, or funny in your approach. It was just rude and obnoxious.
Beerme Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 Yep, I would have gone straight to your supervisor. While I will politely deflect these types of idiot remarks outside the workplace I have a zero tolerance policy for the actual work place. You must be really young to not know what an a$$ you made of yourself or to not know how rude and insulting that was. AND...please stop trying to say this is some southern thing. I was born, raised, and still live in the south and I expect men here to act like GENTLEMAN not flaming retards. Yup, the OP acted like an idiot. She came in for a legitimate business situation, and she shouldn't have had to deal with some guy making dumb comments to her. If the OP was interested in her (which I'm probably thinking he was, but is now not willing to admit it), he should have said something nice, and in no way aggressive. She may have responded with a comment to keep the conversation going, and he could have gone from there. Apparently, the OP has a tough time distinguishing between a bar after work, and actually being at work.
Crazy Magnet Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 Totally agree - there was nothing witty, clever, or funny in your approach. It was just rude and obnoxious. Approaches like this (please note I did not say "men" like this nor did I say the OP...I'm sure you're a normal nice guy other than this little blunder) are what make women hostile to being approached at all. We are not a piece of tail so don't approach us like we are. After enough encounters like this we lump the "approach" with "men" in general and become much less receptive to any flirting. Or least that's how it worked for me. Still though, so not funny. I'm sure you weren't thinking "Oh I'm going to disrespect this girl!!" but you still need to be sensitive to what you are saying to women. It doesn't matter if you weren't interested. Would you want someone treating your girlfriend, sister (or one day daughter) that way? Probably not.
Shakz Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 I did like the line "Well, I suppose I'll do 'til you find one." Nice, self-effacing humor. Almost Hugh Grantish. Stick with that sort of thing would be my advice. The rest was obviously annoying to her and inappropriate to the work place, but hardly qualifies as sexual harrassment.
Knittress Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 Huh. Lots of strong feelings going on here. I'm a woman and I act playful and friendly towards both men and women, whether I find them attractive or not - this behavior wouldn't even have hit my radar as sexual interest. I would've just quipped back and carried on with my day. Of course, it's all in the tone - people have weirded me out by saying less...
O'Malley Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 OP's "way" was the opposite of "confidence." In fact OP admitted in his first post that he totally lacked confidence (although he didn't use those words) by proclaiming he was "out of her league." He knew he was out of her league, he resented that fact, he was insecure about being out of her league, but he was supposedly "not interested" since he's got another girl he's already dating, so instead of simply doing his job, he was a deliberate @sshole. Exactly, and apparently he's so focused on the so called rejection he's unaware he'll now be known as one of the office douche bags. It's actually hard for me to believe the OP's story that he is an "engineer" working as a professional at a firm because any nincompoop would know that you don't do stuff like he did if you don't want to risk your job. Unfortunately, I dealt with a similar experience when starting out in my profession. A supervisor (not my direct one) was well known to say similar (and worse) comments to the younger female workers. He was high enough up on the ladder that he apparently didn't fear any consequences for being a monumental @ss. Professionalism flies out the window with egotists.
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