DollWelch Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 I'm pretty sure that the reason I have very low confidence is because I never get laid. Nothing that I do really brings me any confidence because in the end I'm still not getting what I value most. That is wrong on so many levels, I won't even begin to touch that at all. Jack, I have to disagree with you. I know plenty of gentlemen in a serious relationship or married, and don't portray the jerk stereotype. You just have to be yourself and patient -and you'll find the perfect woman for you! It is clear, you just need to reset or replenish your life. Go out, smile more often, and do something fun!
Curious-One Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 Being too nice is not a good trait when it comes to dating most women. They get bored, there is no challenge, and it makes you look needy. That is the reason girls dont go out w you.
somedude81 Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 That is wrong on so many levels, I won't even begin to touch that at all. Most people don't even know how to approach it. And there's no way a woman can even being to understand.
Sanman Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 Most people don't even know how to approach it. And there's no way a woman can even being to understand. I have had this conversation a few times. Guys who don't get laid make it their sole focus. After you have gotten a few relationships/sexual experiences under your belt, your priorities tend to change (or mine did). If all you are interested in is sex, hookers are a phone call away. To the OP, I read your other thread and being nice has limits. Recently, My gf of several months forgot to get back to me for a couple of days and arrived 20 min late for our date. I joked about it and told her I understood she was busy, but I also let her know if it became a habit I am gone. I would not treat her that way and won't stand being treated that way. Dump the girl you have been dating and let her know why.
Author jack5100nv Posted June 4, 2010 Author Posted June 4, 2010 I've known women who KNEW the guy they started dating was a "player type". Their exact words. And yet they fell for the guy & were surprised 8 months in when he fell off the face of the earth or was cheating on them or just plain dumped them. All the while he treated them like crap. Then they do it again with another "player type" Why? well, he was hot, knew how to entertain them & the sex was good is usually what I hear. This is so right. I have a female friend who does this and get heartbroken. I told her. Find a nice guy. Look for a guy who does not look confident, is reluctant to talk to you, and ask him out. date him. Those guys are usually nice. She said, "But I do not want that. I am not attracted to that". Well, I said, then keep getting hurt.
Author jack5100nv Posted June 4, 2010 Author Posted June 4, 2010 1) are you meeting most or all the women you date online? 2) Do you TRY to kiss any or most of the women you go on dates with? 3) Are you trying to have fun? Because if you are having fun that is your best chance of your date having fun. 4) Do you go in with unrealistic expectation? Ex. opening a door for a girl means she owes you something. 1. 50-50 I met some on eharmony but I also keep an open eye when I go out and ask them out. I agree, the one from online are socially awkward, that's why they are online. I have stopped meeting them online. 2. Yes. Some kiss and some don't. I then go on to kiss on second date. That's when they tell me they are not attracted to me. I assume because I am nice, I call when I said I call and I do not play games. I have tried playing game with one girl and did not return her call, made her wonder whats going on. Had about 10 dates with her and I broke it off because she did not have social skills. But since I kept her on her toes, she kept going out with me. 3. Yup, have a lot of fun. I try to find out what they like on the first date. The first date is a coffee or dinner. The second is usually Go Karts, Movies, Bowling, etc. 4. Nope, I try not to think about sex. However, when I do kiss them, they do say I am moving fast and she is NOT that kind of girl, lol and she is not going to have sex with me anytime soon.
marsle85 Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 This is so right. I have a female friend who does this and get heartbroken. I told her. Find a nice guy. Look for a guy who does not look confident, is reluctant to talk to you, and ask him out. date him. Those guys are usually nice. She said, "But I do not want that. I am not attracted to that". Well, I said, then keep getting hurt. Asking a man out, and initiating the dates sets a precedent for this exchange for the duration of the relationship... and does not appeal to many women.
Author jack5100nv Posted June 4, 2010 Author Posted June 4, 2010 Asking a man out, and initiating the dates sets a precedent for this exchange for the duration of the relationship... and does not appeal to many women. A guy who is nice and not so confident is not going to ask the girl out. If women think they are equal to men and live in the society as equals, share same type of jobs as men, why can't they ask men out? My best friend got asked out by a girl and now they are happily married.
somedude81 Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 I have had this conversation a few times. Guys who don't get laid make it their sole focus. After you have gotten a few relationships/sexual experiences under your belt, your priorities tend to change (or mine did). If all you are interested in is sex, hookers are a phone call away. That's the most common answer, but it's still wrong. It's impossible to have any sort of intimacy with a hooker. One can't take a hooker to a family gathering. There is no sense of accomplishment that comes from getting a hooker. I can go on and on. I really want my priorities to change but even at 28 I still haven't had any relationships or satisfying sexual experiences.
marsle85 Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 A guy who is nice and not so confident is not going to ask the girl out. If women think they are equal to men and live in the society as equals, share same type of jobs as men, why can't they ask men out? My best friend got asked out by a girl and now they are happily married. We can live in society operating on equilibrium, and still have romantic preferences. Secondly, a person motivated by his success, and goodwill should have no qualms initiating a relationship with someone... that does not require overwhelming, unabashed confidence- just basic social skills.
hats Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 A guy who is nice and not so confident is not going to ask the girl out. If women think they are equal to men and live in the society as equals, share same type of jobs as men, why can't they ask men out? Because most women don't just want to go out on dates. They want to be taken out on dates. It's the difference between what men and women generally want from a relationship.
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